Anyone else who hates to talk?

[Kasumi]

I really don't like talking about things, especially complicated things that cannot be easily expressed in words.
I feel like words just aren't enough and they distort the meaning I want to get across.
So I write long messages to nuance what I say, trying to get the person reading it to understand the meaning behind it.
Yet it just feels like more words just make things more theoretical and unrealistic, while less words make it inaccurate and get the wrong meaning across.

Normally I don't communicate much with words, I don't like talking much, I usually communicate through my behaviour and my body language.
It works way better to get my feelings and intentions across.

 

[pole]

I kind of feel the same way.

most people honestly aren't great listeners, let alone have good communication skills. the more you say is also counterproductive. it won't capture what you intend to communicate.

how do you go about communicating through your behaviour and body language? with that, I think it could sometimes also be difficult because some people are just as bad at reading a person from the outside and so they require words.

for me, I have to pick and choose which avenue works best by recognizing the type of person that I am speaking to. working in sales has helped me a lot with this.

can you recall a time where you've genuinely feel heard by way of speaking? perhaps an experience with someone you can think of who was a good listener and what stood out about them? I've only met a couple of people that I feel fall under this.

 

[matt1968]

Yes me too. I'm all out of the few words I did have at the moment!

 

[Kasumi]

how do you go about communicating through your behaviour and body language? with that, I think it could sometimes also be difficult because some people are just as bad at reading a person from the outside and so they require words.

Yea I mean it only works with people I'm close to but that's also the only people where I care about good communication.
I mean they're able to pick up on my behaviour, I don't need to tell them that I appreciate if I can show them, I don't need to tell them how I'm feeling right now cause they can tell from my body language if I feel scared or exhausted, if I need their help or if I'm up to do stuff.

can you recall a time where you've genuinely feel heard by way of speaking? perhaps an experience with someone you can think of who was a good listener and what stood out about them? I've only met a couple of people that I feel fall under this.

It depends, it's hard, I feel there are some things in my heart that others simply cannot understand but for normal discussions, sharing my opinion, discussing things going on, talking about my values, my health and my issues, yea I feel like it takes a lot of explaining and many words, where I then have the problem written in my op, but it still works, they still understand me.
And the few friends I'm able to talk about personal issues to begin with usually also try to understand me so they have the patience to listen.
I'd say that it's that they are wanting to understand me (in the case of the one person) and wanting to be able to meaningfully discuss things (in the case of the other) is what's "special" about them.

 

[Phantomygg]

Words are hard for me too most of the time my mind becomes a mess, and I don't know what to say

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Same. I've accepted that social norms dictates that we communicate through words, and it makes sense to not judge people immediately so i normally talk if I am engaged. Based on my assessment of the other person's responses, though, I normally end up not talking to them again. Which leads to people thinking I'm a piece of crap or something.
I tried using words (written) but I ended up being told that it makes the reader feel stupid or like a 6 year. Even IF they were able to understand it they'd attack something else. So I finally gave up, and engaged in non-verbal stuff.
Usually I wear headphones (over the ear ones) so people think im listening to something even if there's no music coming out of them)

 

[Kasumi]

Words are hard for me too most of the time my mind becomes a mess, and I don't know what to say

I know that feeling, I usually just give up when that happens.
I'm sometimes able to put things into words very clearly, especially while just thinking about something or simulating a discussion in my head, but as soon as I consciously put down words suddenly all meaning disappears.

 

[Hardcore_Henry]

yeah, its like my mouth moves faster than my brain and i end up stuttering. its kind of embarrassing and i don't usually bother talking unless someone addresses me directly with a question or something.

I've been told im a great listener though lol

 

[Kasumi]

yeah, its like my mouth moves faster than my brain and i end up stuttering. its kind of embarrassing and i don't usually bother talking unless someone addresses me directly with a question or something.

I've been told im a great listener though lol

Being able to truly listen to people is just as important.

 

[Rapière]

I'm not a big fan of words either. It's nauseating to think about how little of my existence others can perceive through language alone. I hope we'll be able to directly link our nervous systems together in the future -- that would solve so so many problems.

 

[Final_Choice]

I feel the same way. I usually only say what's required of me and nothing more. I'm fine with listening to someone go on and on about whatever and just enjoying the silence, which some people think I'm weird for enjoying but I don't care.

 

[CTB Dream]

V know how word v ltl no able dscrb any, me say injury damage nobod know nobod care, say lose all nobod undrstd, say word say word say word say word no get any, ya all nonsns, small ltl word no able expln,me evne if wrt book wrt encycl no able exprs no able expln injury damage.

this also ppl out diff in say lang out diff want in say, make v frstrt try say no able expln in ppl only see out ,,,all gmbl

tell also word nonsns, but not only this all life cntrdct, this all nat lang cntrdct, word also cntrdct, say 1 thing ppl thnik diff thinh,

yae ofc hate talk no mtr wat say nobod undrstd injury damage nobod undrstd any, v mess way cmnct

 

[Eternal Eyes]

I'm the same. I often worry that people think I'm rude or vexing because I say so little. Then I feel like I have to talk to make an effort, and I always sound awkward. And like the OP, I often worry words aren't enough to convey the emotions I feel.

 

[cryone]

yes, I feel this way. online its not as bad since I can type out a response and fix it rather than making up one on the spot that I can't revoke.

I feel like words just aren't enough and they distort the meaning I want to get across.

yes! this for sure. i also don't have an amazing vocabulary so I can't even use good words to capture what im thinking.

 

[Silenos]

It really depends on who I'm talking to. But I also feel like I've said pretty much everything I've wanted to say. I simply don't have that much to talk about anymore.

 

[NoAIarmsNoSurprises]

I used to enjoy talking and getting to know people, but lately I'd rather keep to myself, thoughts and all. I'd rather read what others have to say. It's comforting to be spoken-for, when other people can relate, write what I'm thinking while putting it far more eloquently, I find it helps to feel less alone.

 

[nightlygem]

I relate to your sentiment. I hate talking to others about how I feel because my emotions feel inhuman. there are no possible words to describe the excruciating pain one feels.
I, however, enjoy listening to other people talk. I feel like not enough people have someone who will just listen to what they have to say. Even if it makes no sense, everyone deserves someone who will hear them and attempt to understand them.

 

[casual_existence]

Might have something to do with information theory? I dunno but I do understand the sentiment. The problem is that the more stuff you add the more work you have to put into understanding. Which requires effort which is something that people do not want to do. Myself included though I do try to remind myself that people want to be heard and therefore act accordingly.

 

[TheShadowKing]

I hate talking to my friends now I always end up saying something stupid and end up thinking about it for days after