Discussion Anyone else who cut themselves but still afraid of medical injections/vaccinations?

[W3akCr3atur3]

I've cut myself for probably 5 years and some of the cuts were pretty deep, scars haven't properly healed in years. But medical injections still scare me. Not in anti-vax way, but because of syringe needle piercing my skin. I know it's not that painful most of the times and in fact cutting yourself is way more pain, but I still can't get rid of this fear. I find it hilarious lol.

 

[SectOfValtiel]

sure, ive been cutting for a few years now and in fact last year i probably got more injections or blood drawn than my entire life combined
you get a little used to it but its never fun
still get massive anxiety from it
usually i just look away and wait for it to be over, its uncomfortable but manageable at least

definitely funny though
even more so for me because, i cant stand pain my tolerance is so low and yet i hurt myself as a coping mechanism????
you couldnt make this shit up lmao

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

even more so for me because, i cant stand pain my tolerance is so low and yet i hurt myself as a coping mechanism????

It really depends on the what sort of pain it is. Sometimes pain can be almost pleasuring, sometimes it's miserable. I don't mind pain from cutting, but I absolutely hate hitting my pinky on the bed lmao

 

[Kurushii]

At first the thought of a needle going into my arm was terrifying, It was a thought full of fear. I think a difference between self harm and a syringe is that in the former, you're in control. And with the syringe it's usually going to be another person breaking your skin, and you have to relinquish all control to that person. Looking away and having a shallow small talk always helped me get through it. It's still scary though, I just try to ignore it.

Except for the most recent time
For whatever reason I stared at the needle going into my arm and my blood being sucked away into the vials. It was fun to watch

 

[LastFlowers]

I could not get blood drawn for the longest time, I was a phlebotomist's worst nightmare, and way past the age that I should have been.
(As one nurse so kindly pointed out to me..)
It took me being on a certain medication for a skin condition and needing to get blood work done routinely (as well as unrelated hospital stays) to get used to it.
I still can't look, I've passed out on several occasions. It's not the blood, it's the thought of the needle actually being in my vein.
If I think about it being inside there..if I associate the sensation with the image..I'm done for.
It just nauseates me.
As for vaccines or shots, I can't really remember the most recent time I had one..only reason I didn't get the covid one is because I hardly go out and also have too many other health/bodily concerns going on to warrant messing with it.
(Also not for any Anti-vax reason.)

Oddly enough, it's finger pricks that I hate the most. I would rather get a full blood drawing from my arm than a finger prick.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Oddly enough, it's finger pricks that I hate the most. I would rather get a full blood drawing from my arm than a finger prick.

Can rely. Probably because fingers are much more sensitive and needle goes in instantly

 

[hellispink]

I hate needles with passion. I self harm though. I also got a first piercing but since i hate needles i closed my eyes and just pretended it was a blade. I just hate the way it looks

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I used to cut a little bit as a teenager, but getting any kind of blood draws or injections hurts like hell and usually bruises my arms up a lot afterwards. I still have bruises on my arms from a blood draw that happened two weeks ago.

Despite having a lot of blood tests, IVs, and even surgery, I still panic before any needle goes in and I will always despise it. My veins are not great so there have been ocassions where I will get stabbed or fished with the needle multiple times, which is excruciatingly painful.

With self harm, I think the pain is more controlled and self-serving, and is usually done as a means of catharsis. When you have control over the situation and are inflicting the pain onto yourself, it is a different context than being in a medical environment where you don't really have control over the skill of the nurse or technician. You can't control the force of the needle, the depth, the angle, or anything like that.

Ultimately, others cannot predict our pain tolerance or perceive sensory input the same way we would, so it's a lot harder for medical staff to control the level of pain they inflict on you. If you're dealing the damage yourself, you can control what happens throughout the entire thing, and can stop when it becomes too much. In medical contexts, you don't have that liberty and the level of pain you will experience is contigent on the skill of the person handling you.

That's why it's different, imo.

 

[TAW122]

I think I'm more fearful of cutting because the blade actually makes contact with more surface area of my skin and I can feel more of the pain. I'm a bit more adverse to pain than others (sadly to say). As for vaccinations and injections, I think I could get around it a bit better because I know it is just one area of my body that the needle is making contact with rather than a larger area.

 

[wetcigarette]

sure, ive been cutting for a few years now and in fact last year i probably got more injections or blood drawn than my entire life combined
you get a little used to it but its never fun
still get massive anxiety from it
usually i just look away and wait for it to be over, its uncomfortable but manageable at least

definitely funny though
even more so for me because, i cant stand pain my tolerance is so low and yet i hurt myself as a coping mechanism????
you couldnt make this shit up lmao

im the same way- tbh I like seeing the scars more than feeling the sting or watching the blood drip. the pain is uncomfortable but the aftermath makes it worth it

 

[CentreMid]

I've cut myself for probably 5 years and some of the cuts were pretty deep, scars haven't properly healed in years. But medical injections still scare me. Not in anti-vax way, but because of syringe needle piercing my skin. I know it's not that painful most of the times and in fact cutting yourself is way more pain, but I still can't get rid of this fear. I find it hilarious lol.

Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I think for myself, there's an element of control, like I can control where and how deep I cut but medical needles and whatnot are done by someone else so it kinda sketches me out because I have no idea what's gonna happen or how the other person is going to do it.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

ive sh for about 9 years on and off, and i also get biweekly injections. when i started getting the injections about four or five years ago i was very scared, i wouldnt say terrified bc i know its an irrational fear, but just the thought of a needle going into me made me feel nauseous, and i had to lie down everytime i had the injection bc i was scared i would faint, and couldnt watch the nurse preparing it as even just seeing the needle made me nauseous and dizzy.

now, i can glance at the needle while the nurse is preparing it and i dont feel anything, and i can stand up for the injection. i think it helps that i get them in my ass so i dont have to look at it, its definitely helped me over come my fear. however, a few months ago, the one time i asked if i could try doing my injection myself, in my thigh, i fainted. somehow, despite the fact i was in control, watching the needle go so deep into my leg and pushing the liquid into my leg and pulling the needle back out just made my brain log off lol.

as far as blood tests, i actually love them. i still have to look away as they put the needle in, although i am trying to start watching bc i think its rly interesting, but apart from that i fuckin love watching my blood get sucked up into tubes and the feeling of it and the sounds the tubes make when they pop out its just such a nice experience for me idky.

 

[GlassAlwaysEmpty]

I used to be terrified of injections and blood tests.

Self harming actually helped me conquer the fear of them actually.

I've actually donated blood over 10 times over the last 5 years or so, which is something I would have found impossible to do before I self harmed.

I used to feel feint when people even used to talk about blood when I was younger, I vividly remember almost feinting on a school science class when we were reading up on blood!

 

[unnormal9]

Yes I used to cut and I still hate anything medical.

 

[loyalskateboard]

I haven't cut in a while but I've always been terrified of needles

 

[DareDevil16]

I've been cutting for about 4 years or so and have a huge fear of needles to the point where I start shaking at the sight of them. After a past experience of an iv gone wrong it's been better but I'm still not a fan to say the least.

 

[Tobacco]

I haven't self harmed ever. I've thought of doing it but I've never gotten to that point. But getting an injection or having blood taken rises my anxiety to almost the level of horror. I've had the luck of having blood taken by people who aren't very experienced at it and I hate the sensation of the needle wiggling in my arm. I hate injections in the butt because I have to concetrate not to tense the muscle when I feel the sharp pain and makes me almost vomit.