Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
I was trying to narrow it down because there's many reasons, but ocd really is the main one. I'm sure you've tried treatments. Pills didn't work and exposure therapy is worse than ocd.I've bounced between a few reasons, but OCD has been my main one for the past couple of years. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this too.
Ocd eventually permeates every aspect of a person's thinking. You become ocd's puppet.It's up there. It's hard to know where one's OCD ends and where one's self begins.
I was trying to narrow it down because there's many reasons, but ocd really is the main one. I'm sure you've tried treatments. Pills didn't work and exposure therapy is worse than ocd.
Showering and brushing my teeth is such a time consuming chore that I end up with dark circles under my eyes due to the stress. No one should have to live this way.The most relief I've gotten from meds is the ability to chemically smother myself to sleep, which is better than nothing I guess. But yeah, not much help in the waking hours. It's so tiring. I'm so tired, and I'm sure you are, too.
Your contamination ocd is worse than mine. It was that bad once. Checking ocd is what plagues me the most and prevents me from working.It definitely does not help, that's for sure.
My OCD is intrinsically tied to a year long hypochondriac episode I had after a traumatic incident leading to my hospitalization and impairment.
So during a pandemic and being a Healthcare worker... I don't think I need to explain how much I want to fucking die right now. I had it under control through a lot of help and therapy and I was mostly free of this nagging constant variable... now it has been making these things come back and it has been hell. So now that I'm back in therapy I need to get it under control again and it's awful. Feeling like everything you touch is germ covered and immediate sanitization is required 24/7 or something bad will happen to you, your family, your bosses, your roommates is so distressing.
I go through so many cleaning supplies and so much hand sanitizer.
I'm also immunocompromised so fuck me I guess! Like, it keeps me safe but not mentally sane!