garcelle
Member
- Oct 24, 2019
- 36
I wouldn't ctb because of that. I don't give a fuck if people think of me if i were gay. It,s my choce. You DON'T HURT anyone gor being gay.
I think you don't get it. Gay people are usually bullied and indoctrinated that they are lesser, sinful, unworthy. It is internalized and hard to overcome self hate. Homophobia was extremely prevalent and only recently it became more accepted to be gay in most progressive countries but still gay people face discrimination, pressure to hide, to pretend being straight, to be "normal".
Dating pool is small, is hard to find somebody. And being different from other people is just ...hard.
I am not gay, I am trans but I very well understand where they are coming from.
Also it's not a choice.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
I'm in the music industry. I am discriminated against for being heterosexual and female. When I was younger, l was discriminated against for being a Jew. As a young adult, because I was fat.
Heck. The only thing I was not discriminated against was race because I am white.
I am 51 and the dating pool is small Lol.
I am not making light of your situation. The world is a horrible place and everyone is discriminated against.
Pete Buttigieg is happily married and is running for President. They met on a dating ap. ;)
Crystal Labeija
Experienced
- Jun 3, 2019
- 216
I was born in a country where being gay is illegal and LGBTQ-friendly countries are not currently accepting immigrants. If there was truly a God up there, he would punish humanity for what it did to the LGBTQ community, not the other way around. He would punish them for all the pain and trauma.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
That is so heart breaking to hear you feel this way due to yr sexuality, but can understand the difficulties u may face as people have said in other posts...I'm so sorry! Did you come out yet? Obvs don't have to answer if you don't like to be asked that. Just wondering if that is a specific hurdle you are struggling with.
Lethe
Fey
- Sep 19, 2019
- 670
CrushedHopes
Ex-narcissist that is looking to end himself soon
- Nov 3, 2019
- 471
I never understood why some people would even make a big deal out of other people being gay. If you're not into gay people, then go find someone else. They're not even harming anyone; not even themselves. Why care? It's their life.
Crystal Labeija
Experienced
- Jun 3, 2019
- 216
You'd be surprised at how arrogant people are about policing society. In Russia and Iraq, there are gangs and militias that specifically target LGBTQ people. There are hit lists and stuff.
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
Sorry to hear your story. Im not sure where you live, but many places in the US (even the south) have bubbles of population where being gay is not much of an issue.
I'm NOT trying to belittle your issue. Just wanted to make sure you know that, if relocation isnt an issue, you might have another option.
Good luck, buddy.
I'm NOT trying to belittle your issue. Just wanted to make sure you know that, if relocation isnt an issue, you might have another option.
Good luck, buddy.
Lethe
Fey
- Sep 19, 2019
- 670
Agreed, I also think the idea of "coming out" is ridiculous as well. Like, who fucking cares? It shouldn't even be a big deal. One day I might come out and reveal that I don't like tomatoes on my sandwiches. What scandal!
Isittimetogonola
Kindness is a weakness to be taken advantage by al
- Oct 22, 2019
- 198
After undergoing weight loss surgery, I discovered my sexuality. Being a bisexual, married to a woman, white 53 yo man, I feel I am at the bottom of the LGBTQ pool. I have been passed over for not being gay enough, too old, not being out of the closet. I do get that coming to terms with all this can be considered too much drama for anyone. So getting constantly passed over by both men and my wife leaves little hope of any human connection. Being alone is one thing but being lonely in all aspects just leaves me another reason ti cbt. My closest friends are gay / lesbians and support me completely but I always sense that they are disappointed in me. Another reason to isolate myself from others from feeling like a freak. So to answer the question, I don't want to cbt because of my sexuality; however, it sure makes it much easier to leave when everyone on both sides pull away because of it.
Crystal Labeija
Experienced
- Jun 3, 2019
- 216
That doesn't change the fact that they might have had abusive upbringing or were bullied in school. It could be that they grew up in a homophobic environment and then moved to a city. Things are getting better, but the mainstread makes it seem like we already got there.
garcelle
Member
- Oct 24, 2019
- 36
just
no i didnt, probably would get disowned
Taki
Specialist
- Jul 30, 2019
- 319
Maybe not because of being gay, but the stress of it has certainly added to the pile. I probably still carry a lot of shame about it and don't like to talk about it. Plus as another poster said, being gay in a small city is one reason I'm alone and likely to remain so.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
Ohh no I'm so sorry. I sense you are young(ish) too...are you sure they wouldn't be able to 'adjust' to it in time? Not that I'm saying that is how it should be-it should be immediate acceptance & not matter at all! But I'm wondering if people with certain mind sets need a little time or something dumb like that...you got pals you can confide in?! Must be so hard. If I hadn't become such a mess & owned a house - I would take in anyone that got disowned for coming out!
This is kinda unhelpful
I guess that most people can be discriminated against, but some people get it much much worse.
In extreme case killed, beaten , disowned by family, denied healthcare, fired only FOR WHO THEY ARE and it happens that majority of said people are fall on LGBT spectrum.
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garcelle
Member
- Oct 24, 2019
- 36
they were raised with a homophobic mindset and are disgusted with the lgbtq community so i wouldnt expect them to really accept me. and the only friend i have is trying to force me into being bisexual? its weird.
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MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
That must be so hard. I got rejected by my parent too- not for being gay but for other reasons & I have been pretty much been estranged for many many years now- At 17 I took one small bag, v.little money, walked out the door & went to live in a random hostel I found. It was v.v hard at the time as you can imagine- but I was glad to be free in some ways also, I knew I could be myself & make my own life in the way that I wanted - not gonna lie it was tough- but I knew I didn't have them judging me, belittling me or mentally abusing me anymore- so there was an upside to it. I learnt how to be independent & free of them which was hard but also felt liberating in someways. That's a really weird thing for yr friend to say! Do they want to have a relationship with you or why would they say that?
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garcelle
Member
- Oct 24, 2019
- 36
i might just do what you did if i begin to feel better, it sounds cool.
and yes my friend has been trying to get into a relationship with me even after i told them how i feel. they were doing the "you havent tried it so how would you know?" thing for the past year or so
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
That's not cool of yr friend despite how much they might 'like' you in that way- it's slighlty cohersive & down right disrespectful! Also I can imagine not very helpful in yr current situation. Yeah not saying u should put yr self in the same situation I was in necessarily but sometimes it can work - making a life outside of the constraints of parental control & finding yr own path- the people I met over time (and not gonna lie it was a hard process with many lonely times & struggles) became my family - the family that I actually chose & who liked me for me, no judgements, no trying to change me or put me down-so that was good. The fact I'm here now is another story!
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
Excellent point you make.
Thinks are slowly getting better.. Wish it were faster.
Wreck-it-Riley
My demon will see me undone
- Oct 20, 2019
- 269
Being trans trashed my life, i feel this so deeply. Being anywhere on the LGBT spectrum adds a large dynamic tot he world that is already hard enough. I am Pan but if i am out with a woman we get a lot of hate. And when i didn't pass i got a ton from that too. We call our area the bible belt though, so moving might make that easier for me, hope its an option for you :)
Sweet emotion
Enlightened
- Sep 14, 2019
- 1,325
I know you meant well by saying that but being gay isn't a choice. I'm not gay but i hear so many people say why do you want to live like this to gay people? No on wakes up one day and says you know what? I think I'll be gay and have a lot of adversity in my life. I know you know what I'm saying.
That is what I said. It's not a choice. I'm straight but I don't think she meant anything bad by it. I can't imagine the injustices gay people deal with. But I grew up to respect anyone and everyone no matter if they're gay transgender, bisexual. To me love is love and I think so few people find true love in this world that what does it matter if it's with a man or a woman?
No that's not true that everyone is discriminated against. Gay people are made to feel unworthy and like they shouldn't exist. They're made to feel like they're going to burn in hell for eternity. A straight person doesn't have to worry if their family is going to turn against them or send them to these sick camps to pray the gay away. I've seen awful things happen to gay people and these things don't happen to straight people. Once a girl was sent away from her home to live with religious freaks and if she didn't give up her girlfriend's name they made her stand up all day facing the wall wearing a back pack filled with rocks. She stood there for 10 hours a day. A straight person wouldn't have to do that.
Gay
I know you're being kind and you mean well but gay people shouldn't have to exist in bubbles. I'm straight and there are no bubbles I have to exist in. It's not right for anyone.
Hey sweetie. I'm not gay but I hate homophobic people. If you ever want to talk I will be here for you. I know I won't be able to actually understand what you're going through but I have always felt that love is love and it's so hard to find so it doesn't matter what sex the person is. PM me whenever you want. It breaks my heart that you hate your sexuality because that is something you can't control. It's part of you and it makes you no Les worthy than anyone else. It's disgusting how this world hates. A lot of progress has been made but we need to make a hell of a lot more. I mean a LOT more. Lots of love to you.
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