anyone else used to be obsessed with suicide as a kid?

[outerspaceangel999]

i remember being weirdly obsessed with suicide as a kid. it used to be on my mind a lot already, even though i didn't wanna CTB and any mention of it would stay in my mind all the time. i'd also watch videos or shows about suicide, obsess over characters that committed, etc. just a lot of morbid curiosity i'd say, but has anyone else experienced this? do you think it caused you to become suicidal now?

 

[card1nal]

I didn't experience this specifically, but I had an intense obsession with death which was my first OCD obsession lol. If anything, that obsession has made me less suicidal because it gave me an intense fear of death and most types of pain. I didn't become obsessed with suicide until I was told a story of a family member who committed before I was born, and even then, I was more obsessed with her as a person and what drove her to it than the suicide itself.

 

[derpyderpins]

I can't remember being obsessed with suicide until I was first suicidal at age 12, but I remember one time commenting that I was happy for someone who died and my mom looked at me really weird even after I explained that it was because they didn't have to hurt anymore.