Anyone else used to be fueled by a passion for making art?

[Nofuture1234]

I used to be. Used to spend all my time drawing and writing and creating music. As the years went by the isolation took its toll though, and once it fully sunk in I will never have a loving relationship or a woman be attracted to me, I lost all enjoyment for anything but substance abuse. It feels like a special kind of hell, not even having the desire to do anything but rot away drunk or high in bed all day every day.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i used to <3333 writing, although i can't remember what that feels like. i still force myself to write a lil now & then, but it's nothing like how it used to be. have always wished i could draw, but instead i worship artists, lol.

i spend my days playing CoD, getting as high as i can w what's available to me since i don't drink, & fantasizing + scrolling the same 3 apps on my phone :p

 

[Hollowman]

I used to be very creative and people liked my art. If I could've stayed focused I probably would've had a successful career in it. I haven't made anything in years, can't even care about it anymore.

 

[amyrel]

I used to have a lot of fun drawing, I didn't stop doing it but instead of doing it out of passion and fun I only do it for likes and nice comments now, since it's the one thing I'm atleast mediocre at. I can understand you to some extent, I also don't really feel the enjoyment anymore I used to get from it, but even so I think art is a beautiful thing, it'd be nice if you could regain your passion. I go weeks without drawing, because it's exhausting to just lift a pen, but even so it is never too late to try what once was fun. I believe in you my guy

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I used to draw every day since I was a child. When I was a kid I wanted to be a painter but soon realised it wasn't a good career to follow so then I decided I wanted to make art for games and chose a university course on game development.

I had a major art block during that time. Thought my art was rubbish, hated drawing but forced myself to do it to catch up with everyone else. It was horrible and resulted in almost 10 years of not making art.

A year or so ago I restarted when I bought a new drawing tablet and it has been much better. I feel like I've been healing the artist in me and actually getting closer to that child desire of being a painter. I can't paint all the time but now I'm happy with my paintings and I can express myself which is something I was really missing.
It sounds like you may be missing the escapism of art. Being creative is so good, creating art is so good. I hope you can regain that passion as I'd love to see what you can create. I think you'd love to see yourself create again.

I believe you can do it, at least trying the simplest thing, making one stroke and just letting yourself heal...

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I used to draw and paint yeah

 

[FujoshiNeet]

I draw and oil paint. It is a chore, but I'm decent at it. I like to think I will leave pretty things behind when I go.

 

[Nofuture1234]

It's sad to see how common this is. I wish so bad I just enjoyed the process again, that I could stop feeling all this sadness and hatred and chest pain without taking some substance that will only last a half hour at most.
Expressing myself in any way feels like screaming into an empty uncaring void at this point. It's hard to want to keep going when you know you will always be on your own. Hobbies are more fun when real life interrupts them at least once in a while. I could spend hours chipping away at projects when I was younger because I didn't realize that was all I was ever going to experience. I was too naive to realize the experiences I was looking forward to would never be available to me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, it's still my main coping mechanism in life. But, I have gone through stages where it wasn't as effective and just generally, it's hard to sustain financially as a job. I'm so sorry you lost your enthusiasm. I know how lost you must feel.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yes, since I was a child of 8 or 9 I used to want to be a cartoonist and make comic strips like Jim Davis (creator of Garfield) or Bill Watterson (creator of Calvin and Hobbes). Yes I am aware that the latter doesn't really care for the former but I don't care. It's too bad the newspaper comic strip industry is stupidly difficult to break into not to mention newspapers are all but dead at this point.

Now you're probably thinking I could just make webcomics but I was always too lazy and stupid to make my own website, I tried to learn before but fucking HTML was too difficult for me to grasp so I gave up. Oh and speaking of giving up, I gave up pursuing an animation/illustration degree at my university (if I can't make comics maybe I can make silly cartoons on tv instead) after about two years of it because of one glaring problem: I can't draw. Actually it's not just that I can't draw but I also actually really don't like drawing. I only did it a lot as a kid because I thought doodling was better than actually learning. I don't have any real skill nor the patience to practice and get better at…well anything. I blame the teachers and other adults who encouraged me whenever they saw me drawing a lot in class instead of punishing me and demeaning my lack of talent as they should have. I had this realization right around the time Webtoon got popular so I can't even do that now.

I briefly wanted to pursue writing but as anyone can tell from reading enough of my posts, my writing style is very long winded and not pleasant to read. It's also not very original either since any writing I try to do just ends up sounding like it's trying to take the piss out of everything, like South Park but not the slightest bit clever or funny or interesting.

I've also dabbled in music but I only have about three years of piano learning from over 20 years ago and an unnatural proclivity for the kazoo. I even have a few kazoo covers I've recorded which I will not be sharing because I am aware that many people actually really fucking hate how kazoos sound. It also doesn't help that I don't really care for any music except for video game music and even in that field my range and knowledge are very limited. Music theory also bores the fuck out of me so I don't think I could enter this field either…

 

[mortuarymary]

Not art but crafty things. I make jewellery and knit. Keeps my hands busy.

 

[BlackMoon]

When I was a teenager I was the kind to spend my days writing short stories, learning to draw mangas, etc. It was my way to escape the abuse of my parents and my depression.

But now it's really hard for me to find the motivation. I started to paint a canvas like 6 months ago, but in fact I maybe painted only two days, and it's far from being finished yet.
I started to write a play since one month, and I only wrote 4 pages. I'm asking myself if it's because I'm suicidal or not.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

yeah. i used to draw all the time as a kid and early teen. now i can barely draw a doodle maybe once a year. i miss it so much. i just cant muster the energy or motivation anymore. and my stupid perfectionist brain always tells me ill never make anything good enough so i shouldnt even try even if i enjoyed doing it, same with learning instruments and photography. i feel like i cant call myself an artist anymore.

 

[tabris_075]

I used to be. Used to spend all my time drawing and writing and creating music. As the years went by the isolation took its toll though, and once it fully sunk in I will never have a loving relationship or a woman be attracted to me, I lost all enjoyment for anything but substance abuse. It feels like a special kind of hell, not even having the desire to do anything but rot away drunk or high in bed all day every day.

Yes, actually, art gives off a certain impression of freedom, suicide thoughts became unavoidable but I still found a safe space to express myself. It was more or less my therapy for many years.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

I used to be. I went to art school for most of my life and used to love making stuff. It's been a while now since I lost all interest in art and I don't think I'll ever go back to being creative.

 

[Nofuture1234]

I still listen to rough mixes of albums I made sometimes, and even write down plans to add to them based on my listening, but it never actually happens. Not anymore. Same with real drawings. I can doodle vague ideas now but I don't have the will or discipline to really refine them. There really just isn't a point, not for me. I used to a lot of my favorite stuff I made intoxicated in some way, but now being intoxicated is the only time I ever feel ok and i don't want to waste that very short valuable window on something no one else will really care about or understand. There is no real comfort besides substances that will ever be available to me.

 

[turbomightbegone]

I have always wanted to be an animator. I used to make stupid little animations that used the most simplest tweening. I was also writing a story on my characters, I had my own little world I was working on and I thought it was the best thing ever. It was all going well until my family found out what I was doing,, they are generally very fond of achieving great things. They ended up forcing me to overwork on my art to the point where I got physically sick,, they ended up draining my love for my art and I've been on heavy artblock ever since. My family basically took my childhood dream and twisted it into my nightmare,, and they take their time to yell at me for halting on my dreams and stayed locked up in my room. Now I'm just trying to get back into animation without my family finding out,, I doubt they'd just let me work at my own pace.