Help Anyone else try to gather as many bad experiences or unpleasant experiences in anticipation for an event so that the event goes as well as possible?

[jenny6391bubbles]

I don't know if it's from my OCD or whatever, but I feel like I get punished if life is going too well. So, when I want something to really go well, I try to hope that many bad or unlucky things happen to me so that something I'm anticipating goes really, really well. For example, right now, I am going to give someone special in my life a really high effort gift and I want this meeting (when I give them the gift) to go really well, so I'm willing to sacrifice my luck in gacha games (I have been unlucky since November, I believe) and also in life in general (e.g., traffic, crappy tests, a shitton of crappy minor inconveniences). Is this common (I don't think it's exactly normal and I'm aware of that) among you all? I guess it doesn't help I went through a lot of traumatic experiences throughout my life, so this is kind of how I cope and regain control?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't actively look for ways to make things go wrong before an important event but I do catastrophize. So, I've usually already imagined the very worst ways something can go wrong before it happens. Ironically, that doesn't always help me to know what to do if the worst possible outcome happens. It simply makes me eat myself up with worry about it.