Venting Anyone else too passive sometimes in relation to their issues?

[coolgal82]

I hate it. like its not always but usually whenever i have an issue i just kind of accept it and get really sad about it and just go "its joever" without even like trying to do anything about it and i hate it. I wish my brain wasn't like this but it just is, it doesn't matter how much distress the thing causes me. I only do something sometimes if my brain obsesses over the thing for too long and i finally get the energy to atleast try do something. it just makes me feel like my issues arent real or are my fault. i wish i could do something but idfk i just cant all i wanna do is just like lay in bed all day and pretend they don't exist and i don't think i'll ever change. I hate it. it's like my brain sometimes just only sees things like in black and white like either "this is perfectly fine and nothing needs to be done" or "this is all fucked it's over theres no use even trying" but like not all the time just most of the time? idfk. it's hard to describe. it does it with this whole issue too ironically like it just feels like theres nothing i can do to change this and it's just how i am and my brain absoloutely REFUSES to see or even consider any other option. the only way out i can see is death

but also like again this doesnt happen all the time and i hate it nothing in my brain is consistent or happens all the time it's constantly changing or shifting and i don't understand it and im fucking tired holy shit.