W’ren
Worthless
- Oct 28, 2020
- 559
Anyone else do this? Even on occasion?
I hardly sleep-
Not that i'm ever really tired.
All day all i really think about is my plan to die, and i have flashbacks to things- and i exist through this "life"...
So i have some otc meds and some psych meds... and i mix them sometimes just so i can pass out and just not think or feel for a while.
I can't exist like this- i would ctb if it weren't that my dog still needs me. It's not like anyone in life needs me... hell, no one even notices that i'm in a drug induced sleep for 3-4 hours almost daily. No one misses my presence- and no one notices that i'm not really myself for a few hours afterwards... i mean, how could they? I'm alone almost 23.5 hours a day. No one is around.
When echo disappears, does anyone notice the silence?
Existing my way though being really bites... i don't want to feel- i don't want to be here.
I hardly sleep-
Not that i'm ever really tired.
All day all i really think about is my plan to die, and i have flashbacks to things- and i exist through this "life"...
So i have some otc meds and some psych meds... and i mix them sometimes just so i can pass out and just not think or feel for a while.
I can't exist like this- i would ctb if it weren't that my dog still needs me. It's not like anyone in life needs me... hell, no one even notices that i'm in a drug induced sleep for 3-4 hours almost daily. No one misses my presence- and no one notices that i'm not really myself for a few hours afterwards... i mean, how could they? I'm alone almost 23.5 hours a day. No one is around.
When echo disappears, does anyone notice the silence?
Existing my way though being really bites... i don't want to feel- i don't want to be here.