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mrtime87

Experienced
Jul 9, 2024
208
Here in the US I am on SSDI and just curious if anyone else is surviving on it?

What do you do with your free time?

All I do is play on my phone and lay around with occasional trip to the doctors office or mall.

For what it's worth, I'm a 38 yo male who had to move back in with my mother but am probably going to s homeless shelter by winter.

My diagnosed is bipolar disorder but lately I've been extremely depressed and having dark hallucinations.

My health is deteriorating due to years of neglect but I am trying to at least take it seriously, even if it's too late.

I often fear ending up on the streets and dying in the winter, but try to stay positive.

I'm just curious what keeps you occupied on disability, because I'm pretty much just stay in the trailer depressed.

Thanks.
 
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failure383

failure383

Student
Jul 2, 2024
103
just curious if anyone else is surviving on it?
I wouldn't call it surviving. I don't really have to worry about money much, despite being disability, I'm good in that regard.
I'm just curious what keeps you occupied on disability
I don't do much either. I sleep most of the time and when I don't sleep, then I'm on my PC, but even then I just do nothing really. I see it as a success when I get myself to watch some Anime series or play some game, because then I did at least not literally nothing that day. However, I end up doing literally nothing mostly. You could ask me basically any given day in the last few years "Hey, failure383, what did you do today?" and I couldn't answer you that question for the vast majority of days, because I don't know.
 
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mrtime87

Experienced
Jul 9, 2024
208
I wouldn't call it surviving. I don't really have to worry about money much, despite being disability, I'm good in that regard.

I don't do much either. I sleep most of the time and when I don't sleep, then I'm on my PC, but even then I just do nothing really. I see it as a success when I get myself to watch some Anime series or play some game, because then I did at least not literally nothing that day. However, I end up doing literally nothing mostly. You could ask me basically any given day in the last few years "Hey, failure383, what did you do today?" and I couldn't answer you that question for the vast majority of days, because I don't know.
I feel the same way. There's literally days where I lay in bed worried about my future and obviously ways to get out of my suffering only to conclude that I have to try to survive despite all the obstacles I face.

Honestly, if I would have had that mindset in my 20s I probably wouldn't be facing the problems I have today.

I used to just say if things feg had I would just kill myself and actually believe it. Looking back, I know that was a depression that was interested because I believed I didn't need help. Mental illness played a part but it was mostly arrogance.

Weird as it sounds, I nod advocate against this mentality that when things get bad someone will just kill themself.

The odds are against you when it comes to killing ourself, and I only regret not thinking things thru, quite possibly with a therapist.
 

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