Anyone else suicidal when drunk?

[Anon7075]

Of course i drank a bottle of wine. Im an alcoholic and i constanly drink. Whenever im drunk it feels like i think clearly. Clearly about life, clearly about my existence. It feels like im in another world. It feels like im free but actually i just intoxicate myself. I feel like suicide is my only option. I feel like im free but i know that only death can save me. I try to escape reality when i realise im actually just poisoning myself. Alcohol is a drug that poisons minds of the people. It's a drug that destroys people yet im still consuming it. Consuming it because my life has no future. Because im hopeless. Because im futureless. It's a drug that poisons the mind just to distract you from reality. A cruel, cruel reality.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I think my problem is that I'm suicidal sober but the alcohol just enhances it. I still understand what you mean about how it feels like you think clearly but it's really just intoxication. I'm in a similar situation where only death can save me as well. It really is a cruel reality.

 

[DivineSpark]

I have never been drunk, am I missing something?

 

[Anon7075]

I have never been drunk, am I missing something?

No, not really. Stay away from alcohol it will just fuck up your mind.

 

[getoutgirl]

I never drank much but I had to stop because I usually got depressed and disappeared. Like that was my thing. My secret move at parties. I'm alright, talking, having fun, then a drink, give it 30 mins and I'm swallowing in quiet desperation, suicidal thoughts, oh woe is me, drink some more, disappear into the streets without telling anyone, maybe get home, maybe walk aimlessly or around dangerous places.
There is already a 50/50 chance I become an anxious mess at parties. If drink, its a 110% chance + harmful antics. Like I got nothing of the "fun" part of alcohol but kept trying until I realised my brain just isn't wired for that and maybe its not the best thing for me.
So I ain't got better but at least I ain't got worse due to alcohol.

 

[TransTaxEvader]

my alcoholic friend used to be very suicidal while drunk but seemed fine otherwise.

anyways, his dad bought him a revolver. you can guess why he's not here anymore.

 

[lifelite]

Definately, when drunk enough. That's when I also have the courage to actually do it, but my method wont allow me to be drunk, so eh.. Then there's the hangover and anxiety that lasts for days after.
I do think about suicide while sober, but no courage

 

[Haematemesis]

yep, commited my first attempt when i was drunk

 

[Blueberry Panic]

No, not really. Stay away from alcohol it will just fuck up your mind.

That kinda the point

 

[maniac116]

Of course i drank a bottle of wine. Im an alcoholic and i constanly drink. Whenever im drunk it feels like i think clearly. Clearly about life, clearly about my existence. It feels like im in another world. It feels like im free but actually i just intoxicate myself. I feel like suicide is my only option. I feel like im free but i know that only death can save me. I try to escape reality when i realise im actually just poisoning myself. Alcohol is a drug that poisons minds of the people. It's a drug that destroys people yet im still consuming it. Consuming it because my life has no future. Because im hopeless. Because im futureless. It's a drug that poisons the mind just to distract you from reality. A cruel, cruel reality.

I'm sober for many years.
I'm not trying to sell my ideas but have you tried getting help for alcoholism? Its a depressant so it's not a giant leap to see why we become depressed or suicidal when drunk, especially when addicted.
Again, not trying to preach but if you want to talk you can PM me.
I hope that whatever you decide in life that peace finds you

 

[nogods4me]

If it helps us be free of this sadistic trap then we should stock up. Too bad it fucks up some of the methods.

 

[Moniker]

Opposite effect on me. I'm able to not think for a while and it's actually quite nice. However, I don't get super drunk whenever I drink and I've been trying to stay sober. Also, the health impacts have scared me from binge drinking.

 

[hereornot]

It works the other way around for me, alcohol distracts and prevents me from thinking about CTB.

 

[Hotsackage]

I'm pretty much like that, been through to much shit, to not not drink anymore. Im not that bad, but my bs toleration and sense goes a tad acute. Gets me into trouble tho lol. Feel like my brain has a dependency on it, and I'm not talking about addiction. My brain needs it, I'm 100%, empathetic with u on alcohol consumption

 

[FullCircle]

I'm more suicidal when I don't drink. That's why I drink.

 

[steveholt]

Im slowly dyin through ARLD and told it will kill me if i drink .. ... i have relapsed more times than the .homer says D'oh. and have a plan in place

 

[Halfhourdays]

I'm more suicidal when I don't drink. That's why I drink.

Yeah, drinking is when I'm *not* suicidal...

 

[Poptart]

I'm also an alcoholic.

I loved myself once. I became sober and maintained it for years. I cut out the drugs & alcohol. Instead, I took lithium for mental health. Shockingly, lithium reduced my suicidality almost completely. (I highly recommend trying it. It is an eerie shift to see your thoughts become - normal.)

Life was much better when I was sober, believed in god, believed god loved me, and regularly took medication.

It took the belief change to change my behavior. Once the beliefs slipped back, so did my behavior.

I can't imagine life without alcohol now. Sobriety induces a cold panic in me.

 

[areyousafe??]

I thought alcohol made you happy and makes you forget your problems, so I binged on vodka and beer. It made me very suicidal and the police ended up taking me to hospital (ie handcuffed me, threw me on the ground, and carried me into an ambulance), and a security guard watched over me so I wouldn't escape. I haven't touched alcohol since.