Discussion Anyone else "ruined" their chance to ctb?

[Old]

I had the semi-perfect method to ctb. However, the SI was too strong and I was scared.

So I went home and told my family (bad mistake). Now I regret not having done that because it was perfect opportunity, now I can't leave alone or be alone at home...

Currently I am passively suicidal, meaning I won't try to ctb, but I wouldn't care if I died right now. Just wish I had had the guts to do it back then.

Have you had a similar experience where you were about to do it then back off and told someone? And regret it...

 

[Topacio]

The first time I tried it was with pills. After taking them I decided to go to the kitchen for a moment and there I passed out. So they ended up finding me quickly and taking me to the hospital.

I don't know if they would have been enough, honestly, but if I had stayed in my room it wouldn't have triggered the vigilance I had afterwards.

What was the semi-perfect method you mention?

 

[banger12]

I don't have a story like that necessarily and idk if I've ruined my shot at CTB, but my family kinda found out that I'm interested in buying a firearm because I took the online course the state required for purchase. I printed the certificate and mentioned I had done the course trying to play it off as just some novel conversational topic and ig when I briefly left they freaked the fuck out and I had to calm them down insisting I didn't want to CTB and I took it out of curiosity (it's free). Idk if they were completely convinced. This was about a month ago. I'm too broke to buy a firearm rn anyway. I need to get back to work so I can afford it.

 

[WantThisToEnd]

I once had access to fentanyl through a drug dealer, many years ago in a different city. I didn't use it even though enough of it would have certainly killed me. I regret that a lot. Might even be my biggest regret.

 

[spirittheyregone]

Not necessarily ruined but passed it up. When I was younger I always used to tell myself when I turned 18 and moved out and got a job it would get better. It didnt. Now I have bills, debt, and responsibilities I cant just abandon to ctb. If I would have put a stop to it all when I was younger I could have spared myself and other people so much pain and unnecessary hope.

 

[3/4Dead]

Had a gun right in front of me, like a doofus, went for the knife also in front of me, my mother mocked me, I froze and didn't go through with it. I'd never had a method sitting right in front of me like that before.

I'm on the fence about whether or not I regret it, since it would've been extra fucked up for my parents to have to see that, but, it was honestly a pretty perfect moment.

oh that and when i worked in one of the tallest buildings in my city and had free access to the (UNPROTECTED) roof for months.

Better opporotunities coming up soon though, so, shrug.

 

[lotus11]

Ok genuine question...but how can SN be too strong if the whole point is to kill you?

 

[chester]

Ok genuine question...but how can SN be too strong if the whole point is to kill you?

Who said anything about SN? OP said SI was too strong.