Anyone else realize what they used to have?

[ming]

I was looking at photos of me from 5 years ago and it made me feel like such an idiot. I used to be only 110 pounds and have a slim body, but around that age I was already hating myself and didn't realize how skinny I already was. I don't even know why I thought I was "fat" at that time when I looked perfectly fine. Now I'm probably almost 160 lbs and I feel like a freaking whale. I lost all motivation in life and it's literally going nowhere. I feel dumb for not realizing how good I had it back then and trying harder when I actually had potential. Now it's too late and I'm preparing myself for the end. Anyone else reach the same revelation?

 

[greebo6]

Sometimes. It hurts.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, had a good job, friends, girlfriend, was slim, etc.

Anyway, I made a lot of wrong decisions and here I am.

I wish I had a time machine!

 

[Sensei]

Sometimes. It hurts.

This. I try to avoid thinking about the past because it makes me acutely suicidal. Better to focus on the present.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

yeah i had it pretty good for a while...

 

[Tired_Tired]

Don't cry over spilled milk. You still can lose weight if you are on diet and exercise regularly. One thing for sure will never come back. Your youth.

 

[itsallover]

I finished college with good degrees, had a great career and then it was all taken away in a shitty hospital one night. Had a lawyer who let me down last second and here I am on disability and depending on pills to get by everyday. I've heard the saying life is a test, but my case is absolute bullshit and I want out already.

 

[demuic]

Kinda, but I was always suffering in some way at some point since the age of 9. Maybe before things were fine with the ignorance of childhood but I don't remember much.

 

[issyishere]

To be honest I thought all my other problems seemed like the end of the world. Looking back at it now and now I realize how I worried over nothing. Man I wish to go back to those times.

 

[awfullife]

I had it all. Local Expert in my field. Substantial sums of money. Family. Kids. Huge House.

Now I have nothing and it will not get better I can assure you. That's the biggest fucking lie people tell you.

 

[Bigpink]

Same here. Nice house, kid, holidays, money. Now nothing really to speak of.

 

[adam&eve]

I had a beautiful place where I lived with my boyfriend. I broke up with him and consequently I also had to move back to my family because I was unable to pay for it alone. I had friends and fun. Now I have nothing, just living day after day.

 

[Sakura94]

Well I was miserable but in hindsight I could have put all those connections to better use, gained deeper relationships with those around me.
I didn't. It is what it is.

 

[WrongGuy47]

Will to live, hope of better future

 

[EmptyManForever]

Yes now only I realize the potential I had when I was younger, looking back at pictures of me when I was younger made me realize how beautiful I was, but those days I constantly thought I was the ugliest person alive, because I was skinny and I constantly got rejected from the opposite sex, so I thought maybe I'm ugly and not lovable, this mindset was totally fake, it was not the reality, I now know how good looking I was back then , also I was a smart kid in school, got good grades and was much more productive back then, but those days are gone now , I have put on more weight, and I feel like shit now, I am not smart anymore,and I've become apathetic with no emotion or feelings , I dont like this new me,i also wish i could go back to those good days again and remain there forever , but reality is different , there's no way to go back to the past ,and that sux , right now all I care about is leaving this world , counting my days till death, that's what life has become for me

 

[Chupacabra 44]

You've been thin before, so you be thin again.

Since this is important to you, find a diet and lifestyle that works for you, and make it happen.

Endless resources, studies, and anecdotal stories on-line to guide you through the process.

 

[I screwed up]

Yeah, had a good job, friends, girlfriend, was slim, etc.

Anyway, I made a lot of wrong decisions and here I am.

I wish I had a time machine!

U are another me I feel.... Everything I wanted to say ... I had everything now nothing .. Just got my depression to deal with

 

[hellodarkness]

Yes. I did something a year ago that, when it eventually comes to light, will ruin my life. Big factor in why I want to CTB. We've since learned the whole thing was the result of me going through a particularly fucked schizophrenic episode, but thats not going to matter. What I did is horrible. Looking at photos from a couple of years ago hurts.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I had potential. But it was always going to be difficult. What's hard is going from the lifestyle of a middle-class family to being below the poverty line and living with a shitty landlord who's more likely to evict you for being a "troublesome tenant" than fix any of 5 outstanding significant problems with the property. FML, it's just not worth it