Discussion anyone else planning to leave without saying anything?

[nails]

title.
i don't think i'll message any of my friends or make a final post before i ctb. the most i'll do is write my family a note explaining what i want them to do with my body and some other shit. i sent messages to my closest friends right before my last attempt and i really regret it, lol. i had a really emotional note for my family as well, but i'm not entirely sure if they read it or not.
i don't see a reason for me to make a goodbye post here. i haven't made any sort of impact lolol.

it just feels really pointless. i don't have much to explain and i even if i did, i wouldn't want to yap about it in a message or letter. there's no point in talking about anything because everything i say just gets misinterpreted, no matter how clear i am.
plus, i don't really talk to those close friends anymore. i don't think they'd really notice if i stopped replying completely.
as for the people i talk to regularly, i still just don't want to send final messages to them. like i said, it's pointless. they know i plan to ctb soon, they'll be able to connect the dots if i randomly go completely ia.
bit of a separate rant, but i don't understand why people put so much meaning on final words. i don't remember anyone by the last thing they said to me, i remember them by the way they were over the course of our entire relationship. it seems really stupid to place so much meaning on your final interaction with someone. it's completely meaningless most of the time. if i love someone, i can only hope that i made it clear during our regular interactions and my love wouldn't be dictated by a lame ass final text or some shit.

it used to bother me a lot, but i'm at a point where i no longer really care about being insignificant to the people in my life. i just want to disappear quietly. if i could make my body vanish, i would. i'm curious to see if other people think the same way.

 

[mysticatedwine]

I understand. I always juggled between doing a very complicated process to leave notes to everyone - and, at other times, not caring, being aware that when I'll be gone everythign will cease to exist, and being okay with disappearing without a trace

 

[TheHolySword]

I'm writing letters for my loved ones. But I'm not sending any final messages or texts saying what I'm doing. It's going to be a normal day as far as anyone is concerned

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I won't be saying anything to anyone. I don't have anyone to say goodbye to. Maybe I'll announce here prior. Not sure yet. Certainly will have a scheduled message ready for after the fact.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I won't be saying anything to anyone. I don't have anyone to say goodbye to. Maybe I'll announce here prior. Not sure yet. Certainly will have a scheduled message ready for after the fact.

I really hope that you do say goodbye to us before you go. I know I'd like to say goodbye to you properly before you leave, and I'm sure many others would as well.

 

[Kbeau]

I won't be saying anything to anyone. I don't have anyone to say goodbye to. Maybe I'll announce here prior. Not sure yet. Certainly will have a scheduled message ready for after the fact.

Nobody at all??

 

[OhWellDerp321]

I really hope that you do say goodbye to us before you go. I know I'd like to say goodbye to you properly before you leave, and I'm sure many others would as well.

Nice Linkin Park the messenger lyrics in your signature :)

 

[deadbidaylight]

Nice Linkin Park the messenger lyrics in your signature :)

Chester is my hero

 

[wiggy]

I wouldn't really bother unless I came across compelling evidence that it improved outcomes for the family, grief wise.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Nobody at all??

Nope. I never married, don't have any kids. I had a sister, 2 first cousins, 2 third cousins, my last aunt, and my mother all pass away over the last 6 years. I'm the last one left. I have no remaining friends, either. My cousin was my best friend. I never thought something like that could happen, but it did. Frankly, it's not a good place to be. But, for whatever reason, it's where I am.

 

[naut]

I left an entire document with a lot of personal and intimate details of my life before attempting to ctb. I failed and the aftermath wasn't too pretty. I probably won't say anything this time. It's just too risky to relive a failed attempt if it ever happens again. I don't want to worry anybody anymore.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I am leaving a last will and testament with notes for the four people I love the most, plus a letter to be read in public during my service. If I start writing notes for everyone else in my life, I'll probably reconsider, and I don't want to reconsider: I want to leave this world after what happened to me and after I lost all hope at recovering my ex. I'm still on the fence about leaving a note for her though, I don't want to be vindictive and this is not just because of her, but I also want her to have no doubt that she caused this and I also want her to know I'll love her if we meet in the afterlife. Maybe it sounds stupid, I don't care.

I have also discussed my desire to die with my mother and my closest ones in hopes that it won't come as a surprise and that they'll understand. I'll try to reassure them that it wasn't their fault and let them ask me anything they want.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I really hope that you do say goodbye to us before you go. I know I'd like to say goodbye to you properly before you leave, and I'm sure many others would as well.

Thank you for that. When I go is a bit off in the future, yet. Still have things to finish up. I probably won't announce immediately before I go, like the day before or day of. Maybe I'll say something like the time is nearing, or something like that, maybe a few weeks out, or whatever.

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

The only stuff I'm gonna put in my note is just logistical instructions, like explaining that I want my body to be cremated after my organs are donated. I don't have any interest in writing a formal explanation of why I'm ending my life.

 

[platypus77]

I think if you're care that the people you're leaving to have some closure, it's a nice gesture to at least absolve those who will grieve your loss.

I had a close one which I think was trying to reach me for help once and I wasn't in the mood to engage in conversation. They CTB'ed a week later.

This is one of those scars that will never heal, because I'll never know the truth.

If I ever decide to leave early, I'll leave at least a note to comfort and absolve those who cared about me.

 

[Saponification]

Personally I completely understand what you feel, I honestly don't wanna say anything when I leave either—but I'm gonna force myself to leave a letter for my family, because I know it would reduce their suffering. I also plan to post here during my CTB so I can help others on this site by sharing my experience with SN, so others can use my case as reference and gauge the efficacy of it for themselves.

I would leave without saying anything, but I prefer the idea of making my shitty existence at least a little useful.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

If I ever decide to leave early, I'll leave at least a note to comfort and absolve those who cared about me.

My thoughts exactly. I lost someone to suicide, and all they left is a very brief note. I'm not saying a long note would've helped me heal in any way at all, but it would've maybe been some kind of comfort.

 

[nails]

I left an entire document with a lot of personal and intimate details of my life before attempting to ctb. I failed and the aftermath wasn't too pretty. I probably won't say anything this time. It's just too risky to relive a failed attempt if it ever happens again. I don't want to worry anybody anymore.

yeah, i relate on a smaller scale. shit got so awkward after i failed my attempt lol i would've been better off if i did it without telling anyone. i'm pretty sure it's the main reason why a good amount of my close friends have drifted away from me. i don't like to assume shit about other people or the way they think, but it's difficult to assume otherwise.
your situation seems a lot more difficult, though. i hope you've been able to recover from that aftermath and i'll be wishing you the best.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

If i tell anyone in real life before then they could report me to the police and i'll be put in a mental hospital for trying to commit suicide. so i need to keep it a secret.

when i think about it logically there really isn't anything that matters to me except me avoiding unbearable pain and my suicide asap. nothing matters. what can matter in 150 years, in 1000 years? 100,000 years ? a trillion years ? nothing. that means no other group of cells or "me" should matter to me except the part of me that is trying accomplish my goals prioritized. my goals prioritized are those that will move me toward my suicide the fastest and then the maintence crap that i feel the need to do like groceries chores work etc but i have to do that garbage only because i haven't killed myself.

 

[G000pie]

Yea... over the years I've made so many draft suicide notes, trying to find just the perfect words. Whether to be mad at my mom or apologetic. Whether to tell my online friend or just let them come up with their own theory as to where I went. But I don't think it matters anymore. I haven't fundementally changed anyone, haven't made an impact on this world, if anything I've left it a little colder. It doesn't matter what I say anyway, my mom will blame it on the dems as they always does, for making me "confused about my identity", for turning me away from christianity... People will put words in my dead, unmoving mouth.

 

[iamanavalanche]

its becoming really tempting. at this point i might say goodbye to one person and disappear. i doubt my death would change much outside of my family and closest friend

 

[moonlight2.0]

title.
i don't think i'll message any of my friends or make a final post before i ctb. the most i'll do is write my family a note explaining what i want them to do with my body and some other shit. i sent messages to my closest friends right before my last attempt and i really regret it, lol. i had a really emotional note for my family as well, but i'm not entirely sure if they read it or not.
i don't see a reason for me to make a goodbye post here. i haven't made any sort of impact lolol.

it just feels really pointless. i don't have much to explain and i even if i did, i wouldn't want to yap about it in a message or letter. there's no point in talking about anything because everything i say just gets misinterpreted, no matter how clear i am.
plus, i don't really talk to those close friends anymore. i don't think they'd really notice if i stopped replying completely.
as for the people i talk to regularly, i still just don't want to send final messages to them. like i said, it's pointless. they know i plan to ctb soon, they'll be able to connect the dots if i randomly go completely ia.
bit of a separate rant, but i don't understand why people put so much meaning on final words. i don't remember anyone by the last thing they said to me, i remember them by the way they were over the course of our entire relationship. it seems really stupid to place so much meaning on your final interaction with someone. it's completely meaningless most of the time. if i love someone, i can only hope that i made it clear during our regular interactions and my love wouldn't be dictated by a lame ass final text or some shit.

it used to bother me a lot, but i'm at a point where i no longer really care about being insignificant to the people in my life. i just want to disappear quietly. if i could make my body vanish, i would. i'm curious to see if other people think the same way.

I'm so thinking of not saying anything but leave a note for my girlfriend about everything and what to do with my body , but it's extremely difficult because my girlfriend knows me to well when I'm down or I'ma do it so I'm not sure

 

[notmyusername]

I understand. I always juggled between doing a very complicated process to leave notes to everyone - and, at other times, not caring, being aware that when I'll be gone everythign will cease to exist, and being okay with disappearing without a trace

I relate to this hardcore. I'm wishy washy. Sometimes I wanna plan it out and leave notes, and organize my items in an obvious way to make my death easy on loved ones, but other times I'm so depressed I'm just like "fuck it."

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I can't imagine writing a note, I wouldn't do that even if I had the energy.

I'm not a sick person but it would somehow seem more appropriate to send out a couple of funeral invitations

 

[Permanoir]

I don't plan on leaving anything behind because I simply don't care. I have parents and siblings, and I'm the youngest, but a note would only raise more questions and feel insincere. It has never actually occurred to me to leave one.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

Chester is my hero

One More Light hits so hard

 

[Marbas]

Yeah all my past attempts I never bothered with a note or anything. The people in my real life are already aware of my mental health issues so it wouldn't surprise anyone.

 

[blackIronPrison]

I certainly won't say anything in the time leading up to ctb I wouldn't want to telegraph it.

I've been considering scheduling emails to be sent out a week after I actually ctb to a couple people just for closures sake but I'm not wildly concerned with people understanding or respecting my choice. I'm perfectly happy letting those concerned fend for themselves just as well.

 

[Soontocatch]

Well I don't really have a plan on writing a note and leaving it behind although I will probably inform one of my closest friends about when I am going to do it, the only person I trust enough to not ruin what I am about to do.But in the off chance that I do leave a note it will mostly be to let my parents know that it was my choice of ctb, probably something really simple like thanking them for the life they provided that's about it.