Discussion Anyone else on leave due to their depression/anxiety?

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

This is my fourth medical leave of absence in four years. It's always the same. The doctor fusses at me for not taking care of myself. Then he takes me off of work for 60-90 days and sends me to intensive outpatient therapy. Some thoughts:

1. When I'm not on LOA I see him monthly. But when I am on LOA I see him weekly. That's four times the money for him for our five minute checkins.
2. Every time he takes me off work, he charges me $75 to fill out the paperwork and $50 if he has to talk to them.

So being off work is fine. I miss my friends and I never know what to say was my reason for disappearing for three months out of every year. I haven't told anybody the truth. I just make jokes. Every time I think about it I get stressed out.

Also, I HATE THE TREATMENT. Does anyone like IOT-DBT? God damn it's depressing. This morning I was laying in bed, which I do for probably 16 hours a day, and thinking I'd rather ctb than go to therapy today. And I'd rather ctb than see my psychiatrist today. I don't know why my brain is telling me to ctb, okay? It's just a constant urge and there's no talking through it. It's just my constant companion. Just me and the urge. BFFs.

 

[Pony]

I havent been to any of my university lectures since they started back up after summer, Ive gone weeks without showering or changing clothes and I havent been able to let my uni know about it yet because I dont do anything all day so I never get up and write an email. My social worker says it seems like Ive hit the pause button on life, didnt think of it at the time but it wouldve been good if I had said that I wanted to hit the off button.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

I havent been to any of my university lectures since they started back up after summer, Ive gone weeks without showering or changing clothes and I havent been able to let my uni know about it yet because I dont do anything all day so I never get up and write an email. My social worker says it seems like Ive hit the pause button on life, didnt think of it at the time but it wouldve been good if I had said that I wanted to hit the off button.

Same. I went 8 days without showering a couple weeks ago. The only reason I did was because I was going to the psychiatrist. Thanks for sharing. Your "stop button" reply would have been great.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

I've given up on my dreams of working abroad because of my mental health, I went and came back because I couldn't cope and now I'm unemployed:(. Take as much leave time as you need. It's so strange that our body has such strong survival instinct but our mind can work against us. Sending you peace and proud of you!

Thanks. That means a lot to me. And yeah, our brains hate us sometimes but our bodies want to live. It's so weird. Also, I'm sorry to hear that you've had to miss out on working abroad. Peace to you, as well. And a quiet mind.

 

[Rachel74]

Just having 6 weeks off work but not because of my MH problems it's because I broke my foot.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

Just having 6 weeks off work but not because of my MH problems it's because I broke my foot.

Ouch! I hope it feels better soon and you got some good meds out of it.

 

[Rachel74]

Ouch! I hope it feels better soon and you got some good meds out of it.

I had tramadol but my god it made me loopy!

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

I had tramadol but my god it made me loopy!

It's a gateway opiate. Lol

 

[Rachel74]

It's a gateway opiate. Lol

Oh ok. Well it opened a gateway into something.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

I just realized my dr added propranolol today.