Anyone else mentally ill without hope?

[ratfucker22]

ive been mentally ill for two decades. there is no repairing untreated 20yo mental illness. and thers no way of turning back time, that time is gone forever.

the rope will bring me peace at last. it will be the ultimate fix for all of the suffering my mental illness has provoked.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

same..well not that long but im still beyonf hope

 

[Kassender]

Me too.

30 years and all i tried to make it better failed.

 

[TAW122]

I'm in my late 20's, and most of my life in the recent decade has just been downhill. I have an ongoing condition called Aspergers, which makes social interactions awkward as I can't relate to people and pick up social cues and also social anxiety. There is no cure for Aspergers, just ways to cope and this isn't even counting the other issues that I have (which I have many more reasons for wanting to ctb). I'm still working on procuring my method, which is a firearm.

 

[solacely]

I've been mentally ill my whole life. I have BPD which is lifelong and has no cure. Tried all of the therapies and medications out there and literally nothing has helped. It's completely hopeless at this point and I'd rather not suffer for the rest of my life so suicide it is.

 

[ratfucker22]

I'm in my late 20's, and most of my life in the recent decade has just been downhill. I have an ongoing condition called Aspergers, which makes social interactions awkward as I can't relate to people and pick up social cues and also social anxiety. There is no cure for Aspergers, just ways to cope and this isn't even counting the other issues that I have (which I have many more reasons for wanting to ctb). I'm still working on procuring my method, which is a firearm.

same as me brother except im in my early 20s. even if tomorrow a new magical drug would be invented that cures ASD, it wouldnt help at all. all of my youth is gone, stolen from me by this mental illness. its not even a mental illness per se were just wired differently which is even worse.

 

[Suicideroomwannadie]

from simple ADHD to psychotic breaks been depressed since thirteen... now iam here on this forum :)

 

[Phro]

My mental illness flared up several years ago and it's progressively gotten worse. I've been through countless medications and therapies and nothing helps. My illness has spiraled to a point that is beyond my ability to cope with it.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Yep I beyond fucked my life up due to bipolar.

 

[bigj75]

My mental illness flared up several years ago and it's progressively gotten worse. I've been through countless medications and therapies and nothing helps. My illness has spiraled to a point that is beyond my ability to cope with it.

same here. What do you think the source of it was? Or what my have started the mental illness?

 

[bigj75]

Yep I beyond fucked my life up due to bipolar.

but you can't really blame yourself.

 

[Phro]

same here. What do you think the source of it was? Or what my have started the mental illness?

I had childhood abuse that probably planted the seed for a life of hell. After I served in the military, things went downhill rather quickly.

 

[midastic]

Yup, what made me lose hope though is the fucked up things I have done during those times along with my strong obsessions/paranoia over certain situations.

 

[Sidestep]

Yes, my illness has just been getting progressively worse to the point of me being easily incapacitated in normal daily life. I am becoming more aware of my issues and how to deal with them but the damage has already been done to myself and others. Doesn't help that professionals around here are more or less ignorant on how to deal with my lunacy.

 

[FadedMemory]

No matter how hard I tried to fight my social anxiety, I failed at the worst time possible. I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around back then, and now I'm haunted by those past mistakes. I can manage depression, but not social anxiety.
Both are only getting worse.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Treatment resistant depletion!! I even did ECT.

 

[Tiburcio]

I'm not menally ill (I guess). I'm just hopeless.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

Treatment resistant depletion!! I even did ECT.

I've had about 25 sessions of ECT. I've been in therapy and on medications since 2001. I'm not getting better.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I would say so. Everything my mind tells me revolves around killing myself. Went to great lengths to try to make life worth it. Proved I could do what you're supposed to do. It all sucks. I also naturally repel people and my mind after a short period of isolation convinces itself that everyone hates me. I'm not sure if they do or not, but it feels like it and that's all that matters.

Living in torture all the time. It's nowhere near worth it. I did my chores. Time to go to bed and not wake up.

 

[bigj75]

I would say so. Everything my mind tells me revolves around killing myself. Went to great lengths to try to make life worth it. Proved I could do what you're supposed to do. It all sucks. I also naturally repel people and my mind after a short period of isolation convinces itself that everyone hates me. I'm not sure if they do or not, but it feels like it and that's all that matters.

Living in torture all the time. It's nowhere near worth it. I did my chores. Time to go to bed and not wake up.

same

 

[RacilyDank]

Yes. I've been on countless meds, had counselling, psychotherapy, cbt, done mindfulness meditation etc.

I have in the past recovered multiple times without any intervention only for it to come back, often when everything else in life is going great.

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

When people ask me what anti depressants I've tried, I answer "all of them". I did all the things that are supposed to help. I suspect most of the treatments are all BS but I guess it's because nothing ever worked for me. The loss of hope was just the last straw.

 

[RacilyDank]

When people ask me what anti depressants I've tried, I answer "all of them". I did all the things that are supposed to help. I suspect most of the treatments are all BS but I guess it's because nothing ever worked for me. The loss of hope was just the last straw.

That's because most of the treatments ARE BS.

Antidepressants only do marginally better than placebo in clinical trials, and those are just the ones the pharmaceutical industry publish! There are many many unpublished trials in which they actually do worse, not to mention the unreported effects.

A large part of why this marginal effect is reported is because it only exists in the most severe cases of depression and that's not because those cases responded positively more positively to treatment, it's because they responded LESS positively to placebo. It doesn't prove a thing and meanwhile millions around the world are on these medications without any improvement. Fuck big pharma.

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

Yeah I have a healthy distrust of docs who think anti depressants are the answer to everything.

 

[bigj75]

Mental illness seems to be a very unstudied subject. Docs really don't know how to treat it and it's easy for them to throw pills at it.

 

[RacilyDank]

Mental illness seems to be a very unstudied subject. Docs really don't know how to treat it and it's easy for them to throw pills at it.

Yep. We don't know the true cause of it much less how to treat it. Saying it's a "chemical imbalance", which is largely disproven, and throwing chemicals at it only serves the corporations that profit from them and the doctors who prescribe them.

 

[TehArgentum]

I've been suffering from chronic derealization/depersonalization for a little bit more than 7 years, I don't know if recovery is even possible anymore. It literally makes my life a hell-ish experience considering many other problems that I have (depression, severe social anxiety to name a few). I don't remember what it is like to feel 'real'. I'm nothing but a walking corpse at this point, who has nothing to look forward to in this life except for eternal sleep.

 

[useless]

I can't deal with depression anymore. I have no future. I wish things had turned out differently. I want to be able to work and have a normal life, and I never will. I hope they find a real cure for mood disorders in the future. People can't live stuck in bed all day, too apathetic to move. All I can think about is how much I've fucking ruined.

 

[RacilyDank]

I've been suffering from chronic derealization/depersonalization for a little bit more than 7 years, I don't know if recovery is even possible anymore. It literally makes my life a hell-ish experience considering many other problems that I have (depression, severe social anxiety to name a few). I don't remember what it is like to feel 'real'. I'm nothing but a walking corpse at this point, who has nothing to look forward to in this life except for eternal sleep.

I know exactly how you feel. When anxiety hits me hard I get extreme depersonalisation and derealisation. It's like I'm not really in my own body viewing life through a lens. It's meant to be the minds way of shutting down from severe stress

 

[TehArgentum]

I know exactly how you feel. When anxiety hits me hard I get extreme depersonalisation and derealisation. It's like I'm not really in my own body viewing life through a lens. It's meant to be the minds way of shutting down from severe stress

Yeah, many people get it occasionally. I probably wouldn't mind if it would come and go in episodes to be fair, but having to live like this in a non-stop mod 24/7 for years is quite terrible.