Anyone else like the idea of having friends but don't want any?

[Ambivalent1]

?

 

[passivethought121]

Yeah. Companionship is nice, but for me it's extremely exhausting to try and make and maintain friends. I guess it's a trade-off.

 

[Darkover]

people just equal more shit to deal with i haven't had any one that i could really call a ture friend

 

[Ambivalent1]

Yeah. Companionship is nice, but for me it's extremely exhausting to try and make and maintain friends. I guess it's a trade-off.

Maintaining is a chore.

 

[lachrymost]

Yes. I fantasize about having friends and would like the benefits, but the cost is too high. I can't be foolish enough to lapse into thinking I actually want friends. I learned the hard way it's not worth it for me. I'll end up hanging out with people like, "This is horrible and it doesn't make me feel less lonely at all."

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes I imagine who I'd be and what I'd be doing if I wasn't so socially anxious. Would I be more 'normal'? Would I be having fun with friends? I can hear my neighbours all around me having get togethers now in fact. Would I be less suicidal if I had people around me?

But then I remember how much it hurts to lose people. And I remember it's often me who has to make all the effort to see people and I remember how I'll actually do all I can to get out of social things anyway and I think- nah- I'm not that person. I don't want to make the effort to become that person- so, I just need to accept the outcome. Plus- I'm not exactly lonely anyway- so- why am I even thinking like that?!!

 

[brokeandbroken]

This is inherently tricky for me. Very few people are going to befriend a homeless guy. Especially one going through a hard time. So I don't really bother. There's no point. I was the victim of crimes they probably have been through hell and likely drug addiction. Unrelated if I were to use drugs I am not sure I would ever be able to stop as it would numb the pain I am in. I am in mental agony every day. Hypothetically though let's say a successful person for whatever reason said B&B let's be friends.... I am still not sure I would because I don't think I am capable anymore. My trust in people has been shattered. I always feel like people want something from you or I have to give something to be friends. Yet won't do anything in return. I am also mentally messed up. Homelessness will do that. So the idea of a friend is fine. In practice though it's not possible for many reasons.

In other words I completely understand.

 

[untothedepths]

Yep.
I still try to maintain some semblance of friendship, but it's always a gamble. What is the next thing that will happen that will send me on a spiral? Nothing in my life so far has ever been so simple. Ive been alone before, and the solitude was peaceful, but it made me fearful of anyone from the outside coming in. Now it's the opposite.

 

[ctvunny]

Yes. Having to always stay updated to their lives or mine because of easy connection, it always frustrates me. Im tired of the constant reminder of scheduling meet ups (they come unannounced) and if I only had known them recently, I would have cut them off but we have been friends for years, so yeah...
The time together is nice and all but knowing boundaries is much more nice.

 

[Celica45]

I have one or two friends but most of the time I'm just really quiet. I like the company but I just don't have the energy to be social. So I always feel weird and self conscious being around them as I'm just not talking.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Sometimes I imagine who I'd be and what I'd be doing if I wasn't so socially anxious. Would I be more 'normal'? Would I be having fun with friends? I can hear my neighbours all around me having get togethers now in fact. Would I be less suicidal if I had people around me?

But then I remember how much it hurts to lose people. And I remember it's often me who has to make all the effort to see people and I remember how I'll actually do all I can to get out of social things anyway and I think- nah- I'm not that person. I don't want to make the effort to become that person- so, I just need to accept the outcome. Plus- I'm not exactly lonely anyway- so- why am I even thinking like that?!!

I'm lonely only when I'm in public.

 

[Maeve]

I love my friends but sometimes i wish they where not here so i could ctb without hurting anyone

 

[FallenForestry]

Balancing and maintaining friendships is hard. It's exhausting when starting a friendship to get to a place where I genuinely feel comfortable around someone and historically there's always been a point in which the person I consider a friend deems im an inconvenience or a burden. It could be I'm not the greatest at picking friends but sometimes its such a genuine shock. Especially if I've known them for over a year and all of a sudden they act as if we're strangers. As my mental health takes a nosedive too I tend to isolate so I don't bring the people around me down or hurt them. Friends are complicate and messy I guess. But being alone hurts as well, even if its easier in certain ways. Normalizing doing things alone takes the pressure off though. Going to the movies, going for a walk, things like that. As long as I have my headphones I don't notice all the friend groups around me as much, and I can enjoy a bit of an activity even if I'm just by myself.