You are good at writing English and you don't seem to have dyslexia, your grammar is good and so is your spelling. Often we can't see our own strengths. Maybe you would be a great writer.
It can really suck though if you aren't good at what you want to be and it can make you really depressed.
I wanted to be a voice actor, but I suck at acting and my voice is terrible, the kind of characters it would fit are like 1 in a million and they aren't the kind of characters I'd want to play. I wanted to be a great artist but after about 10 years I went from "total beginner" to "medium" while I saw a color blind person go from "complete beginner" to "professional MTG artist" in a few years. Really ate motivation and made me feel crap.
Same with Japanese. I studied it in a group for two years. Learned only a tiny bit. Bought the best Japanese study books there are (that everyone online recommended), started using wanikani, downloaded a million learning apps. I also learnt a lot about efficient studying and anki cards and that what's it called the fastest learning method. You know, studies say that the fastest way to learn, if you for example learnt that hand=te, is if you were asked about it first after 4 hours, then after 8 hours, then after 16 hours, then after a day, then after two days, then after a week, then after a few weeks, then after a few months. If Japanese had 10 levels, I'd say I went from level 1 to level 3. But I just didn't have enough motivation. If I lived in Japanese, and I was told that I need to learn to language to survive, I could learn the whole language in a year. But self-motivating is hard, especially in a country where no one uses or knows Japanese so you have to spent all your time on the internet in order to learn and use the language. If I lived in Japan I'd learn Japanese automatically just by walking around the city, going to cafes, reading magazines, having discussions. I wouldn't have to put effort or self-motivate myself.
I learn and relearn really quickly and can remember what I learnt for a really long time, but lack of motivation is always there. When I was a teen I wanted to learn Japanese because of manga, anime and games and especially Pokemon. But then I started losing interest in them and because I didn't need Japanese anymore, because I didn't use it anymore or find it useful, I stopped.
Same with making music. I thought I was shit at music. I started learning music, discovered that I was wrong and that I was actually really good. I made a song, loved it, then the program told me to pay who knows how much to let me continue. Well, it ended there.
My problem is also that I'm impatient and competitive. Logically I can understand how a person who has studied for 20 years might be better than me, emotionally I can't. And I lose interest. It happened a few times when I was younger. Let's say that they released a new Pokemon episode in Japanese and it would take half a year for it to be translated but I wanted to know what it says now. It would go like this: I pick up a study book, study for half an hour until I realize that this is teaching me how to say school subjects and family in English not about Pokemon towns and stealing orbs. I pick up a dictionary, the Japanese grammar dictionaries and the jisho website, I start translating the episode sentence by sentence, but there are so many mistranslations and I can't hear all the things they say clearly, so I only end up understanding like 1/4th of it, and it's too slow too so I only translate the most interesting parts. I also have to write down the translations which takes time. The next day someone has kindly give a detailed descriptions about what happens in the episode and using it plus my poor dictionary translations (no google translate yet) plus looking at what's happening on screen I can get the general gist of what the characters are saying." I lose interest in translating it for now. A few days/weeks later it gets an unofficial fan translation and I can fully understand what they are saying. Months later when I have nothing to do I remember "Oh, I could try studying more of Japanese so I could better translate and understand what they say in the Japanese versions" but then I found out that it just released the official dub and I watch it and later think "Nah, why should I study Japanese? I can just watch the unofficial subs and the official dubs!".
I guess I'm goal oriented and it has to be a very specific goal. If they released a new Sinnoh episode today and I knew that no one would be there to translate it or tell me what happens in it and the only way I could ever learn was if I studied Japanese and translated it myself, I'd go right now and study Japanese in order to find out. But so long as there are millions of people doing the translation work much better than I could, why would I even bother? How many would learn to cook if each of us had a free personal cook? Why get better at art when there are millions of people who are better than art than I'll ever be in this life? Why get better at anything if there's always a million better ones?
That's the problem with this world. I draw a picture and show it to the people living in this area and all of them praise it and say it's really good, the best they've ever seen, I open the internet and tada a million American artists posting better pics than I'd be able to do, 500 000 Canadians posting cooler art than I can make, 1 000 000 Europeans beating me at art.
I miss the times when each town had a dedicated person. You know "the town shoemaker" "the town baker" etc.. Nowadays having all the millions and billions of people makes you feel worthless and unneeded and bad. You could be the best in your small town, but right next to you is a big city with a hundred people better than you and online there's a million times more.
So, I learn quickly and well, but the lack of motivation and the huge number of people who already know how to do X better than me makes me always stay at the beginner or medium levels.
