Anyone else just can’t do it?

[DreamEnd]

Bought everything I need to ctb and can't even look in the direction of the package SI is so strong

 

[Nikki2020]

i know. I'm planning on ctb tonight and ive been shaking off and on.. im sorry.

 

[Pluto]

There's nothing wrong with that. I have my N hidden from view. It changes the tone of life when there is an escape hatch if need be.

 

[Appletree]

I am with you, mate. Its like you want to dead but you are too scared of dieing.

 

[Sick of it all]

I totally feel this.

 

[Zegers]

not too chickened out tbh I've been thinking about it for so long that when the time comes it will be like having a vip ticket for the champions league outcome you can lessen the SI with benzos or alcohol.

 

[FuneralCry]

At least you have the option of a method there for when the time is right, but I understand that even with the most peaceful methods the SI can still keep people here.
Ctb can certainly be very difficult, I've wanted to be gone for so long and it seems as though everything in this life just makes me feel more tired and worse, in general, I'm just so tired of existing, but it's hard to go through with ctb when there is limited access to methods and there is the fear of failure. At least it's always possible to leave this world but I do wish that it's easier of course. Those with N are lucky.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

It's really difficult. Although I wish I had N and the impulse to take it right away. I'm partly sad that I've been through so much without any real happiness only to end it this way. My whole life has been a miserable waste.

There's nothing wrong with that. I have my N hidden from view. It changes the tone of life when there is an escape hatch if need be.

I want to have this security, but I think if I had N now I would've taken it already. It's chilling to think about. I wish there was some way to feel better. Maybe I just need to try benzos and alcohol myself...

 

[Judy Garland]

I keep moving the date forward because a few video games are coming out. It's ridiculous! I really don't care about these games, I care about not suffering anymore. But here I am, still here. If we had a simple switch to end our lives, I would flip it right now. But we have to go through a process in order to die with dignity. Many of them, including my method, scary. It's not a matter of if, for me, it's a matter of when. I hope that when the time comes, my way out isn't expired or degraded in potency. That's another fear of mine, my method failing me and me just waking up to another day.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I keep moving the date forward because a few video games are coming out. It's ridiculous! I really don't care about these games, I care about not suffering anymore. But here I am, still here. If we had a simple switch to end our lives, I would flip it right now. But we have to go through a process in order to die with dignity. Many of them, including my method, scary. It's not a matter of if, for me, it's a matter of when. I hope that when the time comes, my way out isn't expired or degraded in potency. That's another fear of mine, my method failing me and me just waking up to another day.

I tried to survive for a few games too in the past. I think it's just clinging to anything. If anything my life just gets worse and worse and I wish I was dead more all of the time. All methods are scary to me because I don't know what happens afterward.

 

[makethepainstop]

not too chickened out tbh I've been thinking about it for so long that when the time comes it will be like having a vip ticket for the champions league outcome you can lessen the SI with benzos or alcohol.

You can lessen SI with 4/5 THC gummies. Hell with 3 of them you can't reason what planet your on!

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I wish I could just accidentally die somehow, that would relieve me of worries. Why is it so hard to kill yourself on purpose? I feel so bad for everyone on here.

 

[Yakamoz]

There's nothing wrong with that. I have my N hidden from view. It changes the tone of life when there is an escape hatch if need be.

That I understand...but what if somehow you get paralysed after an incident and nobody to help you ingest it? hopefully not but sometimes I get scared that I won't be as free as I am now....and if I keep delaying...

 

[Zegers]

You can lessen SI with 4/5 THC gummies. Hell with 3 of them you can't reason what planet your on!

Really? I should give it a try!

Why is it so hard to kill yourself on purpose?

The matrix doesnt want the simulation to be scrapped

 

[Yakamoz]

Really? I should give it a try!

The matrix doesnt want the simulation to be scrapped

but if we see thru the simulation as we are now, then simulation must be faulty?

 

[Suicidebydeath]

"Regular people who die in the Matrix have their bodies liquified to feed the living." - It's sad to think that my death will just give my family N-supply to make themselves feel better after I'm gone. At least I don't have anyone IRL that would really know or care. Besides my cats :(

I still hate that I have to give up my cats, I'm going to miss them either way.

 

[patpat]

I spent the last few hours trying to get my rice socks to squeeze around my neck but I haven't been gotten them right. I feel like a failure in life and I also do a death. Maybe starvation would be easier at this point :(

 

[Yakamoz]

"Regular people who die in the Matrix have their bodies liquified to feed the living." - It's sad to think that my death will just give my family N-supply to make themselves feel better after I'm gone. At least I don't have anyone IRL that would really know or care. Besides my cats :(

I still hate that I have to give up my cats, I'm going to miss them either way.

can't they get adopted before you go?

 

[Suicidebydeath]

can't they get adopted before you go?

They are on a waiting list. More people give up pets than adopt them, sadly. They are really lovely cats too, I'll be sad to see them go.

It will be harder to kill myself while I have them because their safety is a priority for me.

 

[Pluto]

It's really difficult. Although I wish I had N and the impulse to take it right away. I'm partly sad that I've been through so much without any real happiness only to end it this way. My whole life has been a miserable waste.

I can see you are going through a lot right now. Will send you a message to check in. :)

That I understand...but what if somehow you get paralysed after an incident and nobody to help you ingest it? hopefully not but sometimes I get scared that I won't be as free as I am now....and if I keep delaying...

The most legitimate threat of this type is very old age. Once a condition like advanced dementia kicks in, one becomes completely at the mercy of lunatic 'nursing home' authorities and loses all possibility of making independent end-of-life choices. But the probability of a physical accident causing paralysis is low enough to not factor in, nor am I in the elderly demographic just yet!

 

[makethepainstop]

Really? I should give it a try!

The matrix doesnt want the simulation to be scrapped

Try gummies for fun if they are legal for purchase in your jurisdiction. Start with one wait an hour....enjoy!

 

[Zegers]

Don't you think that somehow we will be better afterlife? ctb process is difficult for sure but in some way my minds tell me its what i have to do

 

[DreamEnd]

Don't you think that somehow we will be better afterlife? ctb process is difficult for sure but in some way my minds tell me its what i have to do

Probably better than where we are now but who honestly knows

 

[theboy]

me

 

[Thequietone]

My last day was supposed to be the 11th of October. Got everything ready and realized I don't have the courage yet but I wait for a really shitty day like I had some of them were I was out of control and was also one step closer. I still have all my things and my notes written and I also joined Exit and planned my funeral. So I can do it any time.

 

[sundown12]

i change my mind every other day...rn i want to fucking rot in the ground, but yesterday i had a glimmer of hope. i hate it here.

 

[foreverfalling]

Don't have a method ready but I can imagine how hard it would be to pull the trigger. Every method available to me has risks some time before it takes affect. That time must be torture, wondering whether it will work, what if it fails, and what if it actually succeeds.

 

[Yakamoz]

Bought everything I need to ctb and can't even look in the direction of the package SI is so strong

One year on. Same here