Venting Anyone else hoping things will suddenly get better?

[Yona]

I deeply wish that things just suddenly get better.
I get a proper job I like, A partner I can marry, a group of loyal friends. This wish is very naive of course. I have to earn all of that myself. I lack the skills to do it. I can't fit in. No matter how hard I try. No matter of much I improve or push myself. I'm stuck alone forever. (Not a very good mindset I know. Who can blame me?)

The only think I can find peace and comfort in is death. I always have been alone in my life. I will die alone. I want to do it at least peaceful.

 

[schopenh]

Absolutely, the idea of things spontaneously improving is literally the only thing keeping me around, since things haven't got better slowly.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

I can only hope to get a chance or two for improvement that I'm not too fucked up to use. But so far the things have only been declining.

 

[ItsAllTooLate]

I don't know if things will suddenly get better, but yes. I'm holding onto a sliver of hope. Because I'd hate to die with the possibility that things might have just gotten better down the line.

 

[schopenh]

I can only hope to get a chance or two for improvement that I'm not too fucked up to use. But so far the things have only been declining.

That character looks familiar, are they from castlevania?

 

[SpottedPanda]

I'm not really holding on to the idea of things improving, because the things I'm fed up with seem like immutable characteristics of the path I'm stuck on. The best I could hope for is a mindset change, or the idea of things becoming easier to deal with.

 

[Fedrea]

I deeply wish that things just suddenly get better.
I get a proper job I like, A partner I can marry, a group of loyal friends. This wish is very naive of course. I have to earn all of that myself. I lack the skills to do it. I can't fit in. No matter how hard I try. No matter of much I improve or push myself. I'm stuck alone forever. (Not a very good mindset I know. Who can blame me?)

The only think I can find peace and comfort in is death. I always have been alone in my life. I will die alone. I want to do it at least peaceful.

If this lot is going to make you not want to ctb then FIGHT FOR IT AND DO NOT LET IT GO.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

As I edge closer to finishing my plan to CTB I really find myself wishing there was some huge sudden change. I don't know what I want, just something to help me or just a clear signal that life is okay and I should keep going. Instead all I get is more failure, less friends, more stress and constant reminders of why I hate myself.

 

[Polly]

Pandemic. No hope.

 

[Bct]

Wow I feel you very much because I also want the same thing as you, except the sudden thing. Pandemic means less job availability, even if there is any I don't know if I'm qualified. Close friends & partners are just look like pipe dreams for me.

 

[AlreadyGone]

Nope. Lost all hope. Things did not improve after nearly 20 years of trying. I am done.

 

[Philosykos]

As I edge closer to finishing my plan to CTB I really find myself wishing there was some huge sudden change. I don't know what I want, just something to help me or just a clear signal that life is okay and I should keep going. Instead all I get is more failure, less friends, more stress and constant reminders of why I hate myself.

This. Hope does find its way to me almost daily, but it's the naive kind of hope that I know has nothing to do with reality. It won't happen. Rationally, I know that life will just continue to be a fight, day in, day out and I just don't want to do it any longer. I don't want to fight anymore. All I want is some peace and quiet and I don't know if that's even within the realm of possibility for me. If it is, it will have to be very, very hard fought and will take years, maybe even decades. I don't want to have to fight for so long anymore.