Anyone else high strung?

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Oh man, it's the worst. Traffic bad? Brace yourself for a tirade. Food overcooked at a restaurant? You better sneak the chef out of the back door while I'm not looking.

It's crazy, I just can't deal with anything anymore. I am worn down to the bone. There's no resilience left in me, no veneer of civility, I'm just pure rawness.

To be fair, I have been off my meds for a few weeks now. I was on them religiously for years, but now I can feel all my old aggression and neuroses coming back with a vengeance, and I think it's a direct result of weaning myself off them.

There is no joy in life if it's going to be like this. I am totally unable to cope with adversity at this point, no matter how trivial.

 

[brighter]

Oh man, it's the worst. Traffic bad? Brace yourself for a tirade. Food overcooked at a restaurant? You better sneak the chef out of the back door while I'm not looking.

It's crazy, I just can't deal with anything anymore. I am worn down to the bone. There's no resilience left in me, no veneer of civility, I'm just pure rawness.

To be fair, I have been off my meds for a few weeks now. I was on them religiously for years, but now I can feel all my old aggression and neuroses coming back with a vengeance, and I think it's a direct result of weaning myself off them.

There is no joy in life if it's going to be like this. I am totally unable to cope with adversity at this point, no matter how trivial.

It sounds as though the meds were helping you, but the thing is you can't rely on them. You can't build a whole, calm personality by being on meds all the time. It might be that the meds were dulling your senses and now that you aren't on them, you're concentrating this on other people.

Is there anything else you can do, or used to do, that helps you to relax?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It sounds as though the meds were helping you, but the thing is you can't rely on them. You can't build a whole, calm personality by being on meds all the time. It might be that the meds were dulling your senses and now that you aren't on them, you're concentrating this on other people.

Is there anything else you can do, or used to do, that helps you to relax?

I was a raging alcoholic all through my twenties. It culminated in a massive nervous breakdown that sent me to psych in 2015. That's where they put me on meds, and I've been on them ever since. But I got tired of dealing with the mental health system and being treated like trash by everyone in that sphere, so I figured it would be time to come off them, and that maybe I'd be okay. Sadly, I can feel my more destructive personality traits returning (as opposed to feeling chill and unfazed by everything on meds). So it may be time to go back on them. It's just depressing that for the last decade or so I've always been on some type of substance to get me through, whether alcohol or SSRIs/benzos. I'm so sad that I'll never be naturally okay.

 

[brighter]

I was a raging alcoholic all through my twenties. It culminated in a massive nervous breakdown that sent me to psych in 2015. That's where they put me on meds, and I've been on them ever since. But I got tired of dealing with the mental health system and being treated like trash by everyone in that sphere, so I figured it would be time to come off them, and that maybe I'd be okay. Sadly, I can feel my more destructive personality traits returning (as opposed to feeling chill and unfazed by everything on meds). So it may be time to go back on them. It's just depressing that for the last decade or so I've always been on some type of substance to get me through, whether alcohol or SSRIs/benzos. I'm so sad that I'll never be naturally okay.

I feel your pain, and that you're sad you won't be okay without meds.
I'm thinking, is there anything, activity-wise, that gets your stress out another way? Or do you think it will just be better for you to ctb? You seem like a mature, sensible person and I think you know the answer to my question.
Whatever your answer is, I'm here x

 

[Circles]

Oh man, it's the worst. Traffic bad? Brace yourself for a tirade. Food overcooked at a restaurant? You better sneak the chef out of the back door while I'm not looking.

It's crazy, I just can't deal with anything anymore. I am worn down to the bone. There's no resilience left in me, no veneer of civility, I'm just pure rawness.

To be fair, I have been off my meds for a few weeks now. I was on them religiously for years, but now I can feel all my old aggression and neuroses coming back with a vengeance, and I think it's a direct result of weaning myself off them.

There is no joy in life if it's going to be like this. I am totally unable to cope with adversity at this point, no matter how trivial.

I'm so very sorry for how you're feeling bro. It sucks and one thing I'm fidgety about is having small talk with strangers mostly and how I over analyze what I should say and then end saying something stupid that I'll over analyze later. Or how loud and screeching people, especially babies, can get in a restaurant. Chronic pain tweaking everytime I twist to turn whenever I cook or something. Little shit after another leading up to feeling manic af bout to blow up. Just another thing outside of our control.

 

[Exile]

I find my capacity to deal with even minor setbacks is almost nil and I'm lashing out. I've never been easy to deal with but the last several years have been awful. I have almost no resilience and I have no patience.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Oh man, it's the worst. Traffic bad? Brace yourself for a tirade. Food overcooked at a restaurant? You better sneak the chef out of the back door while I'm not looking.

It's crazy, I just can't deal with anything anymore. I am worn down to the bone. There's no resilience left in me, no veneer of civility, I'm just pure rawness.

To be fair, I have been off my meds for a few weeks now. I was on them religiously for years, but now I can feel all my old aggression and neuroses coming back with a vengeance, and I think it's a direct result of weaning myself off them.

There is no joy in life if it's going to be like this. I am totally unable to cope with adversity at this point, no matter how trivial.

I used to be like this at work and other times, now it's just the TV or the self service checkout that gets it.
It seems that avoiding irl interactions with people has reduced it.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Oh man, it's the worst. Traffic bad? Brace yourself for a tirade. Food overcooked at a restaurant? You better sneak the chef out of the back door while I'm not looking.

It's crazy, I just can't deal with anything anymore. I am worn down to the bone. There's no resilience left in me, no veneer of civility, I'm just pure rawness.

To be fair, I have been off my meds for a few weeks now. I was on them religiously for years, but now I can feel all my old aggression and neuroses coming back with a vengeance, and I think it's a direct result of weaning myself off them.

There is no joy in life if it's going to be like this. I am totally unable to cope with adversity at this point, no matter how trivial.

I tend to overreact to minor inconveniences. Lost and my phone GPS isn't helping? Time to turn around, forget the important shit I had to do and go back to bed. Have to do something that i'm not looking forward to? I'm going to obsess over it for weeks. Can't find my keys? I might as well just ctb immediately.

 

[wiIIow]

I'm not sure if you're prone to sensory overload or anything like that, but it would definitely make sense to be a lot more sensitive to everything if you are used to the dulling effect of meds. Suddenly all of these sensations which you've grown accustomed to not feeling fully, are back in full swing. I hope it gets a little easier, whether you decide to ride it out and see what happens or go back on meds.

I had a bitch of a time with any sort of sensory input and dealing with even minor inconveniences when I quit being a drunk. I was so used to my world being dulled and it was difficult to just be rawdogging reality again, I broke down a bunch

best of luck to you, Angsty Dolan

 

[Final Escape]

Oh man, it's the worst. Traffic bad? Brace yourself for a tirade. Food overcooked at a restaurant? You better sneak the chef out of the back door while I'm not looking.

It's crazy, I just can't deal with anything anymore. I am worn down to the bone. There's no resilience left in me, no veneer of civility, I'm just pure rawness.

To be fair, I have been off my meds for a few weeks now. I was on them religiously for years, but now I can feel all my old aggression and neuroses coming back with a vengeance, and I think it's a direct result of weaning myself off them.

There is no joy in life if it's going to be like this. I am totally unable to cope with adversity at this point, no matter how trivial.

Did u come off too fast? I came off mine and other than going through the Adderall withdrawal I feel ok. I get down but it has more to do with circumstances. You're probably going through post acute withdrawal syndrome, which if u we're a long term user of psych meds will be a thing u have to get through before u feel better. Going to gym can help, but yea you need to learn how to manage or what to expect with coming off these meds. It's difficult to just stop psych meds abruptly.

 

[lululoo]

I for sure relate. No resilience left. Can't open a package and the scissors are on the other side of the room? Rage or tears. More examples: someone talking too loud, someone's elbow touching me on the train, gross garbage breath of tall people breathing on me on the train, running late for something even if it doesn't matter... I really could go on and on.

 

[TAW122]

Sometimes I get high strung if I'm under an abnormal amount of stress. I literally just become dysfunctional, do nothing productive but stew in anguish and despair. Plus, I lose sleep and end up being sleep deprived or sleep very late the following day only to wake up and feel even shittier that the day is almost half over.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I've been thinking about this since you posted and trying to formulate my answer but as you know I'm still not good with trying to get things all making sense so I hope this comes out right.

You are one of the super nice people on here. You are always kind and helpful and respond thoughtfully when people put up posts about their own struggles. You're never sanctimonious and you have such a lovely gentle humour.

I think you are very hard on yourself. And I think that you feel an aura of disappointment projected upon you from family etc and that is such a shame because they just need to look a bit more carefully to see that success isn't to be measured in what you can tell your neighbours that your sons are doing or what car they have.

You have been through a tough few months recently with money stress and the anxiety over whether you would get the apartment and then moving in. Moving is a HUGE stress.

Anyone would be a wreck in these circumstances let alone someone who is also tapering off medications. You have coped admirably with all of the recent big changes in your life. I think you need to find some way of affirming to yourself that you are a good decent kind person and you've got this.

As for medication, if it helps and the side effects are ok then it's a good thing. If you had diabetes and had to take medication for life, would you berate yourself? No. This is no different and don't ever think otherwise.

Xxxxxx

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I've been thinking about this since you posted and trying to formulate my answer but as you know I'm still not good with trying to get things all making sense so I hope this comes out right.

You are one of the super nice people on here. You are always kind and helpful and respond thoughtfully when people put up posts about their own struggles. You're never sanctimonious and you have such a lovely gentle humour.

I think you are very hard on yourself. And I think that you feel an aura of disappointment projected upon you from family etc and that is such a shame because they just need to look a bit more carefully to see that success isn't to be measured in what you can tell your neighbours that your sons are doing or what car they have.

You have been through a tough few months recently with money stress and the anxiety over whether you would get the apartment and then moving in. Moving is a HUGE stress.

Anyone would be a wreck in these circumstances let alone someone who is also tapering off medications. You have coped admirably with all of the recent big changes in your life. I think you need to find some way of affirming to yourself that you are a good decent kind person and you've got this.

As for medication, if it helps and the side effects are ok then it's a good thing. If you had diabetes and had to take medication for life, would you berate yourself? No. This is no different and don't ever think otherwise.

Xxxxxx

You are so very kind, I'm pretty blown away. Sadly it gets worse. I have an immigration interview in a week and a half where it will be determined if I am to leave the US. It's complicated, but has to do with my ex wife having left me for someone else and now I have to prove it was a real relationship while it lasted. It was, we were together for years, but it's such a huge stressor for me at the moment, because as you know I've moved on with someone else now and have the apartment, car etc.

It may well be the key factor in my current situation insofar as feeling so on edge. Of course, coming off the meds hasn't helped, but I tapered off them as gradually as I could. Thanks for the support, everyone.

 

[brighter]

You are so very kind, I'm pretty blown away. Sadly it gets worse. I have an immigration interview in a week and a half where it will be determined if I am to leave the US. It's complicated, but has to do with my ex wife having left me for someone else and now I have to prove it was a real relationship while it lasted. It was, we were together for years, but it's such a huge stressor for me at the moment, because as you know I've moved on with someone else now and have the apartment, car etc.

It may well be the key factor in my current situation insofar as feeling so on edge. Of course, coming off the meds hasn't helped, but I tapered off them as gradually as I could. Thanks for the support, everyone.

Your welcome, my love. That's what we're here for, to help you whether you want to leave or stay, or just vent.
Do you have a strong case to prove that it was a real relationship? And a good lawyer?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Your welcome, my love. That's what we're here for, to help you whether you want to leave or stay, or just vent.
Do you have a strong case to prove that it was a real relationship? And a good lawyer?

I have pretty good documentation to prove it, though I wasn't as thorough about collecting it as I should have been over the years. No lawyer yet, that will come if this doesn't go my way. Thanks brighter, you've been really great.

 

[JustAboutDone]

No wonder you are on edge, you have dealt with a lot of major issues - don't forget that divorce and moving are up at the top of the life stressor list - and now you've got this too hanging over you.

I think anyone would be pacey and edgy with this going on in their lives.

You need a mantra...Every day a hundred times a day say my name is Angst (insert real name) I'm (insert age) I'm kind and smart, I CAN do this.

 

[brighter]

I have pretty good documentation to prove it, though I wasn't as thorough about collecting it as I should have been over the years. No lawyer yet, that will come if this doesn't go my way. Thanks brighter, you've been really great.

It's okay honey, any time.
I think you have a lot to look forward to in life, you have an apartment, car, a new partner and you deserve to be rid of the immigration problem and to do what you're passionate about.
Career-wise, what do you do, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It's okay honey, any time.
I think you have a lot to look forward to in life, you have an apartment, car, a new partner and you deserve to be rid of the immigration problem and to do what you're passionate about.
Career-wise, what do you do, if you don't mind me asking?

Nothing right now, I have chronic illness. My last job was uber but my gf crashed my nice car and the cheap one I bought to replace it is too old for me to be allowed to drive.

I guess I'll be okay, I'll try to relax more and just prepare myself for what's ahead.

 

[brighter]

I guess I'll be okay, I'll try to relax more and just prepare myself for what's ahead.

That's right, I believe that once you get your immigration problems over with, you can start to piece your life back together bit by bit.
I believe in you. You need to believe in yourself too.
I wish you all the best in everything life throws at you and don't forget that if you ever need advice or just a friend, obviously you can make a thread and people will give advice, or you can PM me and I'll be more than happy to help :)

 

[brighter]

oh and it's your birthday today, isn't it? I saw when I went onto the Members tab. Happy birthday :)