Anyone else hesitant about ctb now that it’s the holidays?

[Kramer]

This was why I was planning to do it 2 weeks ago so as to avoid being delayed. There were some reasons why I wanted to give life another try, but now I'm back to how I felt before and the urge to self-improve has faded completely. It's only at my lowest that I see things clearly.

If I die soon, it'll fuck up Thanksgiving. I'll have a window before Christmas rolls around, but it's pretty much the holidays until the end of December.

 

[Nimbus]

I can understand where you're coming from. I had hoped to ctb before now. I don't want the rest of my family to have to remember my ctb as some kind of sad suicide holiday around this time of year. My family loves Thanksgiving and Christmas and I feel like it would ruin things for them. On one hand it seems ridiculous to be considering that when you want to die, but it's hard not to think of the ones we love and how it will affect them going forward.

 

[Kramer]

I can understand where you're coming from. I had hoped to ctb before now. I don't want the rest of my family to have to remember my ctb as some kind of sad suicide holiday around this time of year. My family loves Thanksgiving and Christmas and I feel like it would ruin things for them. On one hand it seems ridiculous to be considering that when you want to die, but it's hard not to think of the ones we love and how it will affect them going forward.

It's not that I care about my family. I'm just sensitive to criticism due to all the trauma I've experienced in life. I won't witness the criticism but I know it'll happen. It's amazing how my death wouldn't result in sympathy (not right away anyway) but in anger and hate when my childhood horror story
is well known to them.

 

[_Kaira_]

No. If I had the resources, I would CTB right now if I could.

I have no one in my life I care to share any special events with anymore.

 

[NightmareTour]

I'm having the same problem. My original plan was to ctb in December, but the closer I get the more I realise the damage it could do. It'll be my family's first Christmas since my grandad passed away, and it was always quite a social family event. They've also already started making me a part of their plans, because I haven't been a part of the last few. I've never had a great relationship with my family, but I'm worried about ruining it for everyone.

 

[sourpink]

not the fuck at all.
I hate Christmas, and I always always feel left out as I'm not on good terms with most of my family, I haven't been able to spend the holidays with my dad as we used to in years because he's been ... preoccupied, and truth be told I just have always felt the 'Joy's of Christmas' feel contrived at best.
I'm torn, though. my method was going to be an od, but that's proven difficult, and then sn, which is even more difficult as of recently, and I'm now leaning toward buying a damn rope.
I promised myself I'd say one last happy birthday to my dad (in the early new year) before I go but at this point I'd just like to get it done. I kind of don't give a shit about any promises made any more. I'm done and ready and I hate the thought of having to stick it out through happy happy joy joy jesus season... and all that that entails for me in terms of suffering through dinners and socializing.. and food. food all the fucking time. everywhere. eeeeughh.