Discussion Anyone else here never had a crush on anyone before?

[StolenLife]

I'm 23 and have never had a crush on anyone "real" (I do, however, constantly have crushes on fictional characters, as weird as that is). There was only one guy in high school that came really close, but it was about casual admiration of some of his actions and not wishing for him to kiss me or be with me, not like that. This has been bothering me lately since the feelings of having a crush on someone who is a real person and someone I know are the feelings I wish to experience before I ctb. It doesn't even have to be requited since tbh I don't know how I'd function in a relationship and I'm rather ugly so it would be embarrassing for him. I don't even know whether I'm heterosexual or asexual or demisexual at this point, I just want to see how it feels to fall in love. Maybe it would even be strong enough to make me stay, who knows.

 

[lovesickness]

I rarely have crushes, since I see myself as completely unlovable and hideous.

 

[noonipie]

im probably the exact opposite of you but i dont think either of us is weird or abnormal in any way really. that's just the way you are. im sorry if it makes you sad though...

 

[hamvil]

I had a crush with a person here in the forum, we were not assured that it coud=ld be romantic so we met to try out, we found out it was not romantic so I tookit bad and did non show up the secondo day of our days date. I delete the telegrm contact an averythhing. Now I regrete thi becasue she was a good listerner and a good friend but i fucked it up. I cheked again here in the t=forum but she is not logging since janaury so problem she left the forum. No idea to to get back in touch.

 

[Rocinante]

Used to. I don't become infatuated with anyone anymore because I realize it won't result in anything.

 

[NumbItAll]

I know I'm not wanted so that kills any chance of feelings before they can happen. There were rare occasions where I received affection and melted, but it always ends in heartbreak. I guess a fictional character can never disappoint, but I've never had a crush like that before.

 

[OceanBlue]

I think it's overrated. Humans romanticise, worship relationships and sex when it's as romantic/sexy as two pigs doing it.

There are so many negatives with relationships, but we're socialised to seek them. I don't agree with 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all', they need to justify this marriage/divorce nonsense somehow.

If it happens to you, I hope it doesn't turn out bad, otherwise I don't think you're missing out on much and it's totally normal.

Hugs

 

[Skatspielerin]

I don't know if it's possible to fall in love while wanting it to be unrequited from the beginning. I'll tell you about my experience because now I feel kinda like you, having not loved anyone anymore for a long time and being under the impression that if I fell in love and were in a relationship, it wouldn't work out because I really lack experience for someone my age. However, I'm not a 100% sure it can apply to you, as love is different for everyone.
As far as it concerns me, when I fall in love, even if it turns out to be unrequited, it's always with someone I find spellbounding, even though I may not at first, and we bond and share mutual concern, but I wouldn't feel the same if they weren't trustworthy and nice towards me. When I cease to love someone, I also cease to understand how they can love me, even if they do.
If I felt ashamed, I wouldn't be able to love. I don't think you can love someone if you think this person could despise you.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Yes.....

Why? who's making your heart pound like the beat of a thousand drums. Is it a crush? Honestly having crushes are great but being in love in amazing. As they say "love is the closest thing to magic." I have been in true love twice, I felt like I was on top of the world. There was no other feeling ever like it =)

 

[Whistea]

Nah, I genuinely never had a crush or any romantic feelings for anyone.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Usually, if someone attractive of the opposite sex is polite and nice to me, I develop a crush, even though being nice is their job. It's pretty fucking cringe, tbh.

 

[No_Lxve]

I try to not have crushes. every time I see either a girl who looks lonely or seems to be in a depressive mood, I always imagine my life with that person.

trying to save her in some way. but obviously...appearance seems to matter these days.

 

[Zegers]

Doesn't happen when you don't have a social life

 

[peelingbananas]

im probably the exact opposite of you but i dont think either of us is weird or abnormal in any way really. that's just the way you are. im sorry if it makes you sad though...

^^ this!!!

Usually, if someone attractive of the opposite sex is polite and nice to me, I develop a crush, even though being nice is their job. It's pretty fucking cringe, tbh.

nah, honestly, you'd be surprised how many people feel the same...

 

[psp3000]

my crushes on actual people rather than the ideal partner in my mind and fictional characters are usually just phases of limerance

I find having a crush on someone to be mental torture and embarrassing (although I don't think I've ever had a crush on anyone either and can relate to this and would like to fall in love someday too although the thought disgusts me and I feel like my sexual repression would stop me from experiencing love or romance because it causes me to push it away when it comes near/when I attract it)

because it just happens out of the blue and you can't stop it but you can repress it

 

[_Alfarooq_]

None of this cringe was ever in my life man I don't even have friends let alone rizz so basically i'm left to suffer alone and my situation is getting worse