Anyone else here exists merely online?

[UmbraDweller]

I have absolute zero life in real world. All I do is isolate in my room and don't talk to anyone irl except the occasional inevitable encounters with family. I don't leave the house, doing only the necessary. If I never had to eat, shit and piss I'd never leave this room. I talk to couple of people online, play games or watch stuff and that's it. My entire existence dwells online. Usually the same cycle of same crap everyday, because I don't even enjoy anything of it much anymore, it's just routine distractions. If I don't sit by pc I rot in my bed. If I wiped all my devices and deleted all my accounts it could count as a suicide alone by itself. Without those things I would stop existing in a way, only my dead inside physical shell remaining. Feels like I'm already dead.

 

[world is unfair]

Same

 

[tary]

I'm on vacation from school and for almost two months now I've only had face to face conversations once a week when I see my mom and we cook something.
I'm an introvert so this is very relaxing, being alone recharges my social batteries.
During the school year I'd sometimes get social exhaustion from working at the school on a project with people 5 days a week.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

its my life

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm usually online when I'm watching TV, like right now. I don't like being around most people.
I have a few friends, sometimes I get to see them. I would like not to be in public as much as possible.
I'm rotting in bed with my tablet.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't have any life to speak of. Don't even have encounters with family, anymore, since they're all deceased. No friends. So, it's just me. The only people, really, that I "talk" with are here on SaSu, and the clerks at grocery stores, which consists of the cursory, "Hello, how are you?" kind of stuff. Rarely do I see my neighbor and have any conversation with him. I just go about my business, as best I can, working on getting some affairs in order.

 

[pollux]

I don't even exist online, this is pretty much the only forum I frequent, and I'm pretty much a nobody here.

 

[kikewolf900]

I'm nothing im already death I'm just waiting for physical death

 

[turbomightbegone]

I think my mental state is entirely existent online. my physical body exists in real life and it fucking exhausts me. I genuinely can not function in real life and I can't be a functioning member of society. the internet has always been my escape.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

i lurk here and type sometimes, then I go on twitter and say stuff. Sometimes I talk to an AI online, it feels good. And then I go to my private DIscord server and vent when I need to. I also play a mmo once in a while. And then most of the time I watch Vtubers to listen to them talking and watch the chat, constantly reminding myself that what I'm seeing is happening LIVE so I don't have to feel lonely.

 

[mrpeter]

I was basically raised on the internet as a child cause I was homeschooled.

 

[BardBarrie]

I have absolute zero life in real world. All I do is isolate in my room and don't talk to anyone irl except the occasional inevitable encounters with family. I don't leave the house, doing only the necessary. If I never had to eat, shit and piss I'd never leave this room. I talk to couple of people online, play games or watch stuff and that's it. My entire existence dwells online. Usually the same cycle of same crap everyday, because I don't even enjoy anything of it much anymore, it's just routine distractions. If I don't sit by pc I rot in my bed. If I wiped all my devices and deleted all my accounts it could count as a suicide alone by itself. Without those things I would stop existing in a way, only my dead inside physical shell remaining. Feels like I'm already dead.

I live alone in my flat, NEET and on welfare wasting taxpayer resources.

I spend all day in bed: either asleep, browsing the internet on my phone or listening to podcasts trying to force further sleep.

I'll go visit my parents for a few hours once every few weeks, other than that I don't go out.

I've hated being alive since I was a teenager, I'm in my fucking 30's now.

There is absolutely no need for me to exist — I am merely a drain on society — but the powers that be continue to gatekeep all the less traumatic ways of CTB, as well as continue to criminalise euthanasia/VAD.

Therefore until I can work up the courage to hang myself, then I'm just staying here rotting.

 

[sserafim]

I don't want to exist in the real world though. It's boring as fuck. I hate this reality

 

[maidens]

yeah, although I do go do things outside with my mom from time to time. that's it

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't want to exist in the real world though. It's boring as fuck. I hate this reality

Same here. I wish I could be in a better place. Reality sucks so much. I wish I could be in a nice fictional world where everything is automatically done for me

 

[Saturn_]

Yes -- I feel like it invalidates my existence in a way, and it hurts a lot. All of my true, meaningful friendships have been through the Internet for a myriad of reasons including neurodivergence and abusive family. I was never really able to connect with others in real life, and was discouraged by my mother from doing so. Doesn't help any that I was sent to a psych ward on the first day of middle school. So by the time I got back, because of that hospitalization, and because of my circumstances, I was always an outcast. Eventually I was dragged off into a special ed classroom with 10> other kids, to be disposed of and forgotten.

I couldn't even be an unpopular kid. I just didn't exist in real life. And I'm sure my online friends see me as lesser for these digital limitations, too. No matter what I say or do or accomplish, my existence will always be lesser to others because of that lack of physicality. I am as little of a person as possible because of these circumstances, and I'd be missed by as few people as possible. This solely online existence will be a major factor in my suicide.

 

[katara]

This is a pretty similar experience for me too, that's why I ended up here. Honestly if my mom had died years ago, I wouldn't even exist and be here right now. I have no aspirations in life + no friends.

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

I have absolute zero life in real world. All I do is isolate in my room and don't talk to anyone irl except the occasional inevitable encounters with family. I don't leave the house, doing only the necessary. If I never had to eat, shit and piss I'd never leave this room. I talk to couple of people online, play games or watch stuff and that's it. My entire existence dwells online. Usually the same cycle of same crap everyday, because I don't even enjoy anything of it much anymore, it's just routine distractions. If I don't sit by pc I rot in my bed. If I wiped all my devices and deleted all my accounts it could count as a suicide alone by itself. Without those things I would stop existing in a way, only my dead inside physical shell remaining. Feels like I'm already dead.

Same except no games or watching anything.

I'm nothing im already death I'm just waiting for physical death

Same

 

[abchia]

I'm an introvert so this is very relaxing, being alone recharges my social batteries.

Does this make you feel lonely?
After recharging my social battery I feel really alone

 

[tary]

Does this make you feel lonely?
After recharging my social battery I feel really alone

Not really, although that might be because I socialize with people online a lot (I suppose you can still call it that if it's only in writing).
I only need to be physically alone to be able to relax.

 

[lamargue]

i neither exist online nor in real life. i just drift like an amoeba

 

[TapeMachine]

I don't even exist online, this is pretty much the only forum I frequent, and I'm pretty much a nobody here.

Yep, me too. My only "socializing" happens during my occasional visits to this forum; and I wouldn't even categorize this as being social because I rarely interact with anyone. Not that I don't want to at times.

I mostly spend my days completely alone, distracting myself with tasks and little projects around the house. The only person I interact with on a daily basis is the man with whom I live. I'm essentially his personal maid/assistant/cook, but he says he is my boyfriend. Heh.

There are days that I desperately try to will myself to leave the house so I can maybe visit my mom or dad or grandma; but I never seem to have the energy/desire to stray too far away. I wish I could go back to how I was before, back when I still had friends and a life and a glimmer of hope...

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I spend the big majority of time at home since I also work from home. I've tried so hard to make friends irl but it feels like the local people are so different from me - they're happy, they're normal and we have nothing in common.

Being an emigrant also doesn't help, the differences in culture make me feel more alone. I feel like I live to pay bills and maintain the house and myself. Once in a while I go outside but things don't peak my interest, just being outside doesn't make me happy like everyone claims that it does. I don't need to go out on a sunny day, I need social connection and meaning.

 

[TapeMachine]

I feel like I live to [...] maintain the house and myself. Once in a while I go outside but things don't peak my interest, just being outside doesn't make me happy like everyone claims that it does. I don't need to go out on a sunny day, I need social connection and meaning.

I am losing all interest in maintaining myself these days. I used to love it, but now I feel like it is a waste of time.

Plus- and this is a big part of it- if I don't "doll myself up", the boyfriend won't approach me for sex often. When I used to wear my pretty dresses, he liked to come up behind me in the house and lift my dress up and grope my body. Blech, like my body was his property and he could do with it as he pleased... No fucking way. So I stopped wearing my nice things. And so forth. But I digress..

I don't go out on sunny days either, and I don't enjoy being outdoors. I like the carefully curated interior of my home much more.

I'm sorry you are finding it difficult to connect with the people around you. It makes life feel rather bleak at times, I know. ::hugs::

 

[enduringwinter]

As per your definition I also don't exist, not online not anywhere, doubly so in my case since I do not even have citizenship. But there are still people that know me, official documents tracking me. That's what I hate most about the modern world. Total surveillance and limit of movement, you can't just go where you want, disappear when you want.

I am not interested in "a life", I have seen the world and it did not live up to the world inside my mind. I wish I never had to leave home. Maybe it's nicer up top but I doubt. Just look at the world's richest man, he's terminally online too.

 

[Dark Moon]

Their is no meaning in life for me and I don't think I belong in this world. I can't connect with people easily either.