All my life I've been coddled and told how great of an artist I am. All bullshit. I'm no prodigy. I'm worthless and so is anything I make. It infuriates me how no one will admit it.
MexicanTravels
Pokémon Master
- Sep 6, 2018
- 209
Not to belittle your feelings, but I'm actually a nationally recognized artist in photography and video art (with my art dealing with issues from Latinx identity to more existential matters). I have been in several major museum and gallery shows. It just goes to show you that even if you reach success, you won't necessarily be happy. In my case, I always want more and people are always waiting to see your next big piece. CTB is my next big piece lol.
If people are telling you that you are a good artist, then there might be some truth to that, but seek out constructive criticism when you can.
If people are telling you that you are a good artist, then there might be some truth to that, but seek out constructive criticism when you can.
I don't feel belittled at all. It makes sense to me. Sorry that that happened to you. It's probably not the 'success' you wanted if it doesn't fulfil you.
I try to seek out criticism wherever I can but sadly non artistic people rarely give it. They think it's insulting or something I suppose. Thing is I suppose I'm better than the majority of people who draw, but I'm not better than the majority of artists who draw seriously, if that makes sense.
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
I'm a failed artist that's just beginning to make art, tbh. All I want to do is leave behind some vestiges of myself. A kind of way to justify leaving early while still feeling fulfilled to a degree. I want to write, draw, and play some nice music before I leave.
You're not failed yet, you're just beginning. Art doesn't even fulfil me any more because of how much I hate my work. I'm glad you have a beacon of hope.
MexicanTravels
Pokémon Master
- Sep 6, 2018
- 209
That makes perfect sense. I will mention that in the contemporary art market, it's not necessarily about who can draw the best, but who expresses something about the human condition the best. Artists like Kara Walker or Henry Taylor aren't the best drawers/painters but their subject matter and execution is always on point. I suggest visiting contemporary art museums near you and seeing what you connect with. It might help you come up with your own style.
TheLastTrip
Experienced
- Nov 2, 2018
- 285
I tried to become an artist about 3 years ago, thought it might give me a passion to follow and give me a reason for living. I produced some work that people loved, but I am just so burnt out and exhausted by life I couldn't put in the effort really needed to move it forwards (getting proper studio space, taking my work to shows to get initial sales and interest, approaching galleries etc) so it was more of a hobby than anything else and I just ended up burning myself out on it even more.
I've completed three novels, I've published numerous short stories, I'm 5.3 books of the way through a 9-book series, each book about 140k words --and I've now had writer's block for four years. I'm dead in the water.
I'm a damned good writer, but if I can't write, what use am I? Without my art, I am nothing.
I'm a damned good writer, but if I can't write, what use am I? Without my art, I am nothing.
You're not failed yet, you're just beginning. Art doesn't even fulfil me any more because of how much I hate my work. I'm glad you have a beacon of hope.
I honestly feel like subject matter is what I lack most. I struggle with making art that makes people feel something, including myself.
I'm lucky enough to live with my parents since I'm 18. I'm too depressed to hold down a job. What in life burns you out most?
I feel you. People always tell me if I find art so hard and exhausting to just quit. But I can't. I'm nothing without it.
wiIIow
Arcanist
- Sep 22, 2018
- 458
I definitely relate to this statement. Art is my life, been drawing since I could physically hold a pencil. Probably could have gone somewhere with it if not for my brain actively deteriorating and spiralling into a hopeless pit. Every time I try to draw now it's just... frustrating and useless. I can't do it. I've lost it, my main form of expression. I'm worthless without it.
just makes me sad now to look at my old work
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
Hey, I appreciate that, to be honest I'm failed at everything before I even begin. I get the feeling of hating your work but it's like I pre-emptively hate it before it is even created. It takes all of my strength to push through those feelings like "why are you wasting your time?" etc
I wouldn't really say it's much of a beacon of hope, still plan ctb and stuff, just that I have something to fill the time in between until things get un-cope-able. Can't really know how much integrity or faith I'll have in that decision but I'll just go with the flow like I always have.
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Damn, are you me? Glad I could find someone who relates. Wish I had friends like you. My only problem is myself. My brain just cannot accept being happy with something. The only person who understands is my therapist and even then I went through like 100 before I got to him. He's a published author so I feel that's why he's better for me than those other therapists. If anyone reading this is artistic and feels they don't connect with therapists try to find one like that. An author, artist etc. Easier said than done. He pushes me to create and recognises it's the only thing that can save me.
I pre-emptivly hate everything too. I think it's a defence mechanism since deep inside one of the things I'm scared most of is disappointment. If I'm super negative from the beginning I can only be positively surprised. If I try my best and fail it's be extremely painful.
I'm similar but because I have so many ups and downs emotion wise I'm waiting until I go a couple months being 100% sure ctb is the option. The main thing holding me back are my parents. I'm holding on for them despite how selfish I think it is that they're forcing me to live.
Substitute in writing for drawing, and this is me. I can't bear to read my old stuff --I was so damned good! Now? I feel like I could write better by beating the keyboard with my forehead.
I am worthless without it.
I've just started writing a journal online for my family and friends to read after I die. I plan on it being the magnum opus of my mind, my thoughts on death, religion and my political stances along with everything else. The day I CTB is the day I'll write the last post which will dictate weather or not I want the book to be released to the public.
I do not like my paintings either but other people do, and given that everyone's taste is a little bit different might as well let them think as they do. Mine is not to judge, and maybe you are a very good artist, but what you see is from the perspective of an individual who knows what they want to put across and is therefore unsatisfied. Hope I have not offended you here Breathing. I am not doing very well today...
Oh please, I bet you created some beautiful art. Most highly creative people fail because we tend to not be highly industrious, dutiful, good at running things. The more boring people tend to be good at this stuff but artist types are naturally unfocused and make terrible employees. I bet you are suffering with unrealistic expectations and perfectionism. I'm feeling encouraging today, fuck what other people think and try something else. How old are u? I loved the video on YouTube that talks about what happens to creative people in jobs by Jordan Peterson. It's tough to have the creative type brain.
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Lol!! I have created some beautiful art, but that was sculpting...wood, stone, clay. You pick the medium and I make it. Statues actually. People liked my paintings because the colours were so unusual...smile...slightly colour blind...grin. Seemed to others that the colours were used to emphasise emotions...lol...nope, just bad painting. Ah well. Who am I to judge...?
I shall have to check the video at a later date, but it certainly sounds interesting...Oh...I am actually very much an academic. Research, whistle-blowing type. Focus I am afraid is rather necessary, and honestly I love to sculpt, dance, sing, and write...and I do not care what people think of my art. I do it for myself...smile.
I meant you are focused if it's interesting and it's gratifying. It's different if u don't like what you are doing or it's boring.
I was a writer in another life, and everyone pretty much kissed my ass over it, to the point that I didn't really value or even save most of my output, thinking I would always be able to string words together.
Aside from an aggressively mediocre poem I wrote last year, I have been unable to write anything since a brief but disastrous stint in a metal band about 10 years ago. I used to mourn the loss of what I thought made me special. Looking back on the surviving stuff, I can't fathom how anyone thought it was any good.
That revelation was worse, somehow, than my writer's block ever could have been.
I've got the opposite problem: I look back on my writing of a few years ago and it's so damn good it makes me want to scream. It's all locked away now. Inaccessible. Gone. I can barely string together words for a post here on the forum.
I tried this as well couple of years back, but upon rereading, I deleted most of it. I attempted to provide a thorough and rational explanation for my future actions, along with a catalogue off thoughts ranging from emotional scars to death to the afterlife. I felt it all just sounded crazy, that my words served only to weaken my argument of rational (or at least justifiable) self-determination.
Totally unsolicited advice:
Give thought not only to what you are trying to say but the audience to whom you are speaking. Imagine the weight which your messages will be read and look for places where you may be misunderstood. Speak accordingly. I wish I had. May try the journal approach again...
I was an aspiring musical artist most of my life. But as my life fell apart so did my aspirations...
Niko
Student
- Oct 4, 2018
- 112
Aesthler
Death is the only God who comes when you call
- Sep 25, 2018
- 416
It's safe to say I've failed at everything I've tried to do, I mostly just do stuff to avoid crippling boredom
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