Anyone Else Have No Choice?

[KibblesNBits]

But to ctb I mean? As in, it's not even a question as to whether or not you can recover, it's either death or inescapable suffering (ie: chronic illness)?

For me, I actually want to live but it's simply not a life I can force myself through in my physical state.

 

[Living sucks]

I am same. Wanted to live a long life but now dying and in misery .. worst nightmare ever

 

[Starlight12]

Yes, same here. Things have been getting worse for a long time and there's seemingly nothing I can do about it. I don't even know what's "wrong" with me, I just know that I'm suffering and can't handle life. It really sucks because I've met some cool people and it seems like life could have been a lot different if my circumstances were different.

 

[Raminiki]

I've concluded that I must die by my own hand and come to peace with that decision. It's only a question of when.

 

[KibblesNBits]

I've concluded that I must die by my own hand and come to peace with that decision. It's only a question of when.

Yes. And for me, it's also a matter of not flubbing that attempt when I do. My health is poor enough, I do not want to make it worse by injuring myself in a failed attempt. I wish I had access to a vet clinic, N would be great.

 

[Fragile]

seeing my body decay due to chronic illnesses and my mental health crumble is something that I can't even consider as an option, life is just unfair and there's no other way, I just wanted a life I could bear with.

I'm just waiting for the right moment.

 

[UmbosGirl]

For me, I feel like I'm unwilling to engage in recovery anymore (ten years of failed attempts), so ctb is the only realistic option. Obviously I should make more of an effort for my family etc, but it just feels so futile at this point.

 

[KibblesNBits]

seeing my body decay due to chronic illnesses and my mental health crumble is something that I can't even consider as an option, life is just unfair and there's no other way, I just wanted a life I could bear with.

I'm just waiting for the right moment.

Worst of all is I'm only 30 and my health issues stem from adolescence. Went from 12 to 60 in no time, like my life is over before it even began. I'm even forgetful now, my fertility is non-existent and my bone health is deteriorating. If I'm like this now, I'm simply too terrified to even consider being here at 60. I used to dream of having a great life, now I'd do anything just to be normal. I am sorry that you are going through so much of your own pain. May we both find our peaceful method.

 

[Saed]

Yes. There is absolutely no other option for me now.

 

[Raminiki]

Yes. And for me, it's also a matter of not flubbing that attempt when I do. My health is poor enough, I do not want to make it worse by injuring myself in a failed attempt. I wish I had access to a vet clinic, N would be great.

Exactly. I won't act unless I'm certain to succeed and that is why I'm still here.

It's bizarre that other animals have more right to euthanasia than humans. I would say it's unfair also. That the option exists for animals shows that we as a species know it is a compassionate thing to do, yet we have so much taboo about extending that compassion to our own species.

 

[KibblesNBits]

Exactly. I won't act unless I'm certain to succeed and that is why I'm still here.

It's bizarre that other animals have more right to euthanasia than humans. I would say it's unfair also. That the option exists for animals shows that we as a species know it is a compassionate thing to do, yet we have so much taboo about extending that compassion to our own species.

Yes. I also fear not getting my hands on a viable method and being too afraid to carry it out if I do. It would be preferable not to have to resort to a painfully final method. It's legitimately terrifying that we are forced to live against our will even under unbearable circumstances. It is also ironic that euthanasia for animals is called the "humane" thing to do when we don't extend that courtesy to our own brothers and sisters.

 

[AlreadyGone]

Yup. Spent 10+ years trying to improve my situation and soon realized that whatever I do is futile. I hate life and believe that I have no other choice but to end it.

 

[FluffyDove]

I wish I could donate my life to one of you who wants to live

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Yes facial deformity (plagiocephaly) its a condition where your face and skull gets twisted in the frontal part. So im always looking to the left. Death sounds scary but i dont have any choice living like this is quite a hell. Looks even worse in real life tbh

 

[TheRaul95]

Would love to reincarnate, if body wouldnt get diseases...

 

[KibblesNBits]

Would love to reincarnate, if body wouldnt get diseases...

I'd love to go back in time and do things differently.

 

[I screwed up]

i wish i could go back in time too and change all the wrongs I have done

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

If i dont ctb, every single day of my life is going to be extremely hard and painful in every way. Absolutely nobody will profit from me being alive either, ever. I dont see other choice.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

I have chronic pain, but when I was younger/life was better I thought it was something I could live with.

I think it's a combination of my pain getting worse as my body is getting older, life taking a shit on me in multiple ways, and mental health getting worse as a result of those things that has led me to the point I'm at now.

I often wish I could go back in time, but then I remember I would still be in this same body so what would be the point? I could change events but not sure the end result would be different.

 

[Bct]

Is chronic loneliness & depression also count? I'm too broke to afford therapies & meds since I don't have any job now. Job market is basically closing & I don't have enough skills & stress management to handle jobs well.

 

[KibblesNBits]

Is chronic loneliness & depression also count? I'm too broke to afford therapies & meds since I don't have any job now. Job market is basically closing & I don't have enough skills & stress management to handle jobs well.

I just got my job back but I'm on the verge of cracking even in public. Can't do it anymore. I think it's over for good.

 

[Bct]

I just got my job back but I'm on the verge of cracking even in public. Can't do it anymore. I think it's over for good.

Sucks that also happen to you too. It's really frustrating.

 

[schopenh]

But to ctb I mean? As in, it's not even a question as to whether or not you can recover, it's either death or inescapable suffering (ie: chronic illness)?

For me, I actually want to live but it's simply not a life I can force myself through in my physical state.

Yes, it's precisely this actually. I've even tried high dose opioids to deal with the nerve pain and a long list of other medications and therapies that I won't get into. I wanted every single one of them to even take some percentage of the pain away and they either didn't or in the case of opioids, did, but I built a tolerance within a week. I would have loved to have raised a child, I think I'd have been a great dad. But nothing is enjoyable with the constant neuropathic pain. It's like being served a nice dinner but then someone literally pooped and peed all over it and mixed it in thoroughly, so basically it didn't matter how nice the underlying meal was. And they've been doing that every single day for three years and they told you they're never gonna stop.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

It's subjective really in many situations. I don't feel like I have much of a choice since what I want isn't achievable, but others might look at my situation and say I have loads of choice. Then again I guess the kind of person I am also limits my choices.

 

[the-eternal]

i've got all the choice in the world. i choose to die by my own hand — my mind has been made up for years at this point. even coming to peace with the prospect, at this point i've got neither the guts or energy to attempt to depart this existence. it's gotta be this year though — well, i keep telling myself that every year. look where that's gotten me!

 

[NotMemorableEnough]

i got fucked over and abused by the people that should be there to help me over many years and I'm quite young.

maybe I'm in a psychotic state but I don't think I'll ever trust this world or society enough to not ctb in the future.

 

[limpingtowardfreedom]

It's funny, I wanted to die for most of my life, but now I want to live, and I can't. Not in any way that's acceptable to me, at least.

 

[Final Escape]

There's always a choice. It just depends on what you are willing or able to endure. For some people they can recover, sometimes things get better when u least expect it. You have to have faith to keep going and a support network. Not everyone has that.

 

[person123]

I need to die.

 

[Realityisawful]

Absolutely. I could write a list of 5 major reasons, and probably about 20 total, of why I hate my life with a burning passion and think suicide is the best course of action at this juncture. I'm not going to argue that certain people have it worse, because I think after lots of thought, suicidal people could come up with many reasons for hating and worrying about their life (and future), but once you have more than 1 or 2 major reasons for being unbearably miserable, and more than 10 reasons for hating your lot in life, that's when I'd say suicide becomes a justifiable decision, if I were a betting man.