Video games are the only thing keeping me going until my suicide date. So tempting to just down the SN right now but then I can't keep playing video games.
Baskol1
No life, no problems
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,030
No, the only reason why i dont commit suicide now, is because im scared i fail.
kappa
Experienced
- Apr 2, 2019
- 233
MG_39
Physically ill suffering couch potato
- Jul 5, 2019
- 211
I'm scared of failure, and scared of going out in pain. What is left? N, which is not available :(
Baskol1
No life, no problems
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,030
MG_39
Physically ill suffering couch potato
- Jul 5, 2019
- 211
So you mean the thought of full suspension doesn't scare you? In worst case hanging there 3-5? minutes in INSANE pain. It would probably feel like 10 hours.
mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
I'm just impatiently waiting for N. I'm bored of video games. I play a bit of overwatch but get bored after a round or two.
Baskol1
No life, no problems
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,030
No i dont care because i already feel chronic pain. You get used to pain. Even bad pain. It doesnt matter how i die, just that i die.
yeah me. it was really bad like a few months ago, was saving up for N and now Ns been a problem to get, so i guess im just playing the waiting game and video games and school as well. really just want it to all end already.
thedutchguy
Slowly drowing
- Jun 5, 2019
- 114
I feel you, got the same exact problem. Only playing video games to kill the time in between. But those don't feel like they felt anymore.
I now the feeling hanging on a thread. Had planned a date , now my puppy is ill now i need 2 wait till he is better. Still care for my pets.
They need to be healthy for a better chance on a forever home. So pushed it forward a little. But still want to go now this second i'm done...
I now the feeling hanging on a thread. Had planned a date , now my puppy is ill now i need 2 wait till he is better. Still care for my pets.
They need to be healthy for a better chance on a forever home. So pushed it forward a little. But still want to go now this second i'm done...
vonvonwantpeace
Specialist
- Jul 26, 2019
- 331
letmeseethedeath
catching the bus
- Aug 4, 2018
- 465
same here, i spent like 18 hours per day for playing video games and planning my final day. i wish i could have a gun, i'd shot my self in my head in front of my tv while playing video games
They tried to deliver my chloroquine today but I was out, and a signature is required. So they will redeliver Thursday. I still have to wait tho, as I don't have the money to buy the other ingredients until I get my benefits paid in on Friday. Then I can order them, but must wait possibly weeks for them to arrive.
My family don't know yet that I'm out from psych ward. That only happened an hour ago.
Keeping them off my back is going to be my biggest challenge.
Time for some videogames I guess!
My family don't know yet that I'm out from psych ward. That only happened an hour ago.
Keeping them off my back is going to be my biggest challenge.
Time for some videogames I guess!
Letmego. Please
Wizard
- Nov 18, 2018
- 619
I have my parents who decided they want to part of my life again coming up in a few weeks, so i need to get that over with so at least they can say they say me etc.
Then i have to change my bloody will again as another person i thought of as a friend decided to stab me in the back & kick me well below the belt, so no way she is getting any part of my house.
Then i need to do a serious clear out of all random slightly iffy things i shouldn't have lol
Then i'm good to go, i have no fear of what comes after on the basis that once i cease to be there will be nothing. I have no fear of failure as I've failed plenty of times, with consequences & without. And dying is the one thing i have never feared.
Thank you, i struggle to get people to understand that being in pain constantly means that a bit more to achieve the means to an end is a fine trade off. For some odd reason folks think i'm crazy for thinking that way.
Then i have to change my bloody will again as another person i thought of as a friend decided to stab me in the back & kick me well below the belt, so no way she is getting any part of my house.
Then i need to do a serious clear out of all random slightly iffy things i shouldn't have lol
Then i'm good to go, i have no fear of what comes after on the basis that once i cease to be there will be nothing. I have no fear of failure as I've failed plenty of times, with consequences & without. And dying is the one thing i have never feared.
Thank you, i struggle to get people to understand that being in pain constantly means that a bit more to achieve the means to an end is a fine trade off. For some odd reason folks think i'm crazy for thinking that way.
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Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
I also just play videogames, there's not much keeping me here. On really bad days like today I don't even do that because they make me want to carry on when I really can't. I am at the point of pulling the trigger if there was a trigger to pull
k75
L'appel du Vide
- Jun 27, 2019
- 2,546
I'm really grasping. I had a tiny handful of things I was holding onto, but they're slipping away one by one. I'm running out of excuses, and this invisible deadline is creeping up. It's awful, because this isn't what I want. I wish things could be different.
