Anyone else find this website a big blow to their optimism coming in here?

[hell toupee]

I mean, my situation is so dire that CTB was the only thing I could think about that actually put me in a good mood.

After doing a little research and reading Five Last Act and PPH, I thought I could just do the tourniquet method and boom, I'm free of this putrid existence. Hell, I've seen news reports, several, of inmates in jail and prison who simply wrap their bedsheets around their bunk post and just lean forward on their knees (partial) and die. I watch fighters do chokeholds (sleeper holds) put people to "sleep", ie., cutting off the carotid arteries all the f'n time.

And I come here and all the air in my balloon just deflated, all my hopes just blown away as I read story after story of people trying and failing over and over again.

Turns out it's not that easy. Drugs that can't be sourced. Unable to restrict carotid. Don't like the idea of jumping in to oncoming traffic or burning myself alive.

Now I feel like I'm in a small room that's closing in on me with no exit.

Who wants to go in with me in buying a 3d printer and designing a model of the bent elbow and arms of a fighter? We could design and simulate a fighter arms doing a sleeper hold, because I swear to God those guys can put anyone to sleep reliably, like every time, no matter who it is or how fat their neck is or how deep their carotids are.. We could put springs or a ratcheting system in the elbow of our design which would apply pressure and the arms could be 3d designed to be the same shape as human arms. We could even put soft silicon sleeves over the hard plastic to simulate skin and make it less uncomfortable to have hard plastic up against your neck, simulating skin.

Who knows, maybe the instructions on how to do this with a 3d printer will make it in to the PPH...

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I hear you. I initially stumbled upon this forum because I was looking for confirmation on whether you really can get N in So America as PPH states. Come to find out it may be not as easy as PPH claims. So I've been quite apprehensive. Still gonna travel and try to buy it, but if not - at least thanks to this forum I have a plan B which is SN. Not ideal but better than nothing.

 

[escape_from_hell]

Lol @ the 3d printed MMA arms.
It's gotta be easier to just fucking pay some sicko to choke us out till we die, right? Gotta be a lot of maniacs that want a power boner over killing someone with their toughguy skills.

But yes, the difficulty of achieving a (peaceful and easy) CTB is depressing as fuck. But given how horribly cruel nature can be, it's not really a surprise. This is probably just a version of hell and we'll be in another one, like changing the channel, when this one is done anyway.

 

[hell toupee]

I hear you. I initially stumbled upon this forum because I was looking for confirmation on whether you really can get N in So America as PPH states. Come to find out it may be not as easy as PPH claims. So I've been quite apprehensive. Still gonna travel and try to buy it, but if not - at least thanks to this forum I have a plan B which is SN. Not ideal but better than nothing.

Good luck in getting that N. Wish I could go with you, even just follow behind you from a distance like some weird stalker type. But alas, I just became disabled and am in a wheelchair so I'd be be able to follow you one block until we hit a curb and I'd be stuck.

SN is great if you're not living in a state that recently scheduled it. Meaning it would be a felony to source it. And I don't particularly like the idea of going to jail in a wheelchair. Although it would solve my problem of not having any money, and not being able to earn an income and support myself and put a roof over my head. This may just be what I need! Then I can CTB by having someone shank me to death with a piece of a chain linked fence.

I'm actually getting real excited about my idea of 3d printing a model of the arms of a human fighter doing a chokehold with a torsion spring in the elbow. I think it could actually work. Fighter put people to sleep all the time. There's gotta be something to it.

Lol @ the 3d printed MMA arms.
It's gotta be easier to just fucking pay some sicko to choke us out till we die, right? Gotta be a lot of maniacs that want a power boner over killing someone with their toughguy skills.

But yes, the difficulty of achieving a (peaceful and easy) CTB is depressing as fuck. But given how horribly cruel nature can be, it's not really a surprise. This is probably just a version of hell and we'll be in another one, like changing the channel, when this one is done anyway.

I actually think the 3d printed arms could work with a torsion spring in the elbow. Seriously, think about it. It could work. Those guys can put anyone to sleep all the time.

The hardest part would be modeling the arms. But you could do it with some digital calipers to measure the thickness and shape of the arms. I bet that information is already buried out there on the web if you look hard enough.

I'm seriously considering pursuing this. What else do I have to do? I'm newly crippled and I hate watching TV.

At least this might give me a little hope, so don't rain on my parade son. Just kidding, I'm just messing with you. But I am going to seriously look in to this. Those fighters do it with ease. It should be able to be replicated.

 

[rozeske]

Suicide looks easy on the outside, could be where it got it's reputation of "a coward's way out" from. When you look in to it is when you realize the opposite is true. There is 20 attempt for every successful Suicide.

 

[willitpass]

I think prior to coming here many people have a bit of a confirmation bias. You hear about the successful suicides in the news and they make it seem so easy. What you don't hear about are the many people who attempt and fail for every one successful suicide. I forgot the exact statistic, but there are a large number of failures for every success. Coming here just allows us to see all of the failures. It can be very discouraging when all we want is a way out and now all we can seem to hear are the failures.

 

[Worndown]

Some things are not easy.
You came here full of hope and optimism that ypur chosen method was just what you needed.
Then you found out it was not that easy. There were lots of issues with it and now you doubt it as an option.
To me, that sounds like successful research. Better feeling deflated online then not being dead after a failed attempt.
Woth all methods, you will have questions. Ask and you wil get answers from those who have walked that path before you.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

I think prior to coming here many people have a bit of a confirmation bias. You hear about the successful suicides in the news and they make it seem so easy. What you don't hear about are the many people who attempt and fail for every one successful suicide. I forgot the exact statistic, but there are a large number of failures for every success. Coming here just allows us to see all of the failures. It can be very discouraging when all we want is a way out and now all we can seem to hear are the failures.

I believe the statistic is something like 25/1 (failure/success). So if we have roughly 700,000 - 1,000,000 suicides around the globe a year, then about 17,500,000 - 25,000,000 failed (and this likely doesn't even count those who make an attempt but don't need or want to go to the hospital to report it).

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I believe the statistic is something like 25/1 (failure/success). So if we have roughly 700,000 - 1,000,000 suicides around the globe a year, then about 17,500,000 - 25,000,000 failed (and this likely doesn't even count those who make an attempt but don't need or want to go to the hospital to report it).

Boy this is depressing lol.

SN is great if you're not living in a state that recently scheduled it. Meaning it would be a felony to source it.

Do you know if there's list of those states anywhere?

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Boy this is depressing lol.

it really is. it's fucking tragic, and it's yet more evidence that assisted suicide needs to be put into place or a lift of restrictions/bans on gold standard methods like barbiturates.

but keep in mind this statistic is likely due to a lack of information and resources available to most people. and I'd assume that a lot of people don't plan their method before use, so they sorta wing it in the heat of the moment. for example, in the US, over 60% of attempts are made by ODing on meds and poisons, and the vast majority fail. so it's largely due to poor method choice and poor planning/research, if i had to posit a guess. i think those of us on SaSu have infinitely better chances, since many have thoroughly researched multiple methods (and some have multiple on hand, ready to go) and know which methods to avoid. our only issue with regards to failing is SI.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I felt better and much less alone after finding this place and more so after becoming a member, the community here is genuinely understanding and most people are kind.

 

[vitbar]

hah I considered making my own guillotine

 

[clitoralcancer]

I just successfuly purchased a gun online[yes, i did ample research]. It should arrive at a shop on 4-7 days. From there a background check, wait 3 days and im done.
No set date or plans, im sure another episode will hit me soon enough
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Whoops, post reply got stuck....

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Do you know if there's list of those states anywhere?

I just googled my state name + "is sodium nitrite illegal" "is sodium nitrite banned"

Actually found out that for my state, it was banned from sale (purity above 10%) this year, but it's not a felony or a crime. Might be worth checking if it's the same in your state.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

When I joined SaSu, I was legitimately optimistic that someone could help me die immediately, with what I had on hand. Because I'm an idiot. So that bubble got burst pretty quickly. But then, this community raised together & helped me in more ways than I count. Maybe you should give it the chance to help you - either with a method or recovery. Whatever you need. Whatever you came here for. I'll be brutally honest that pretty much all my posts are anxiety ridden so I won't be a hypocrite - I need to succeed & I'm terrified of failure. But geez, what is happening lately with what seems like every new member posting negative things??? As opposed to scared or anxious?? Asking for help? For advice? Constructive criticism on their protocol??
I came here optimistic, had that crushed, my own bad, looked for a new method & was overwhelmed by all the help that is available here. If I joined today & only listened to new members, I'd have to walk away from the only support network I have & I really don't want that for anyone else. Please don't feel this is a personal attack, I just want this place to remain supportive for those that have literally nowhere else to go. Best of luck to you, whatever that may look like to you.

 

[lastboyscout]

I just successfuly purchased a gun online[yes, i did ample research]. It should arrive at a shop on 4-7 days. From there a background check, wait 3 days and im done.
No set date or plans, im sure another episode will hit me soon enough
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Feel free to private message me, it was amazingly simple after i figured out exactly the gun and most importantly bullet i need
Whoops, post reply got stuck....

in almost all the countries (including mine) its very hard to get a gun. if u are in UE and u suceeded i would really apreciate u could share the trusted vendor, thks

 

[CantDoIt]

I find this website sort of made me feel better about ctb but at the same time I started feeling very depressed or sad that everyone seems to have such a hard time with it. Don't want to make any mistakes, I think about it v v frequently. It's really a pain to source everything. The most peaceful methods are complicated or difficult to acquire all the materials for, likely on purpose. Can't order gases online in some places, SN and N hardish to find, not discreet enough, setup requires all of these meters and testing things, etc, it's just a mess. People end up going for stuff that's difficult like hanging or jumping which are hard to muster up the courage for.

 

[Dai]

Who wants to go in with me in buying a 3d printer and designing a model of the bent elbow and arms of a fighter? We could design and simulate a fighter arms doing a sleeper hold, because I swear to God those guys can put anyone to sleep reliably, like every time, no matter who it is or how fat their neck is or how deep their carotids are.. We could put springs or a ratcheting system in the elbow of our design which would apply pressure and the arms could be 3d designed to be the same shape as human arms. We could even put soft silicon sleeves over the hard plastic to simulate skin and make it less uncomfortable to have hard plastic up against your neck, simulating skin.

Who knows, maybe the instructions on how to do this with a 3d printer will make it in to the PPH...

There was a time when I was considering buying/trying a trigger clamp to cut off the carotid, but was too scared to try because I've never heard of anybody trying and what might go wrong.

Something like this:

 

[clitoralcancer]

in almost all the countries (including mine) its very hard to get a gun. if u are in UE and u suceeded i would really apreciate u could share the trusted vendor, thks

Apologies, no I'm in the US, where I ordered one online and it is sent to a local store, I show my driver's license and if I pass a basic background check I will have it in 3 days

 

[YoungJijii]

I mean, my situation is so dire that CTB was the only thing I could think about that actually put me in a good mood.

After doing a little research and reading Five Last Act and PPH, I thought I could just do the tourniquet method and boom, I'm free of this putrid existence. Hell, I've seen news reports, several, of inmates in jail and prison who simply wrap their bedsheets around their bunk post and just lean forward on their knees (partial) and die. I watch fighters do chokeholds (sleeper holds) put people to "sleep", ie., cutting off the carotid arteries all the f'n time.

And I come here and all the air in my balloon just deflated, all my hopes just blown away as I read story after story of people trying and failing over and over again.

Turns out it's not that easy. Drugs that can't be sourced. Unable to restrict carotid. Don't like the idea of jumping in to oncoming traffic or burning myself alive.

Now I feel like I'm in a small room that's closing in on me with no exit.

Who wants to go in with me in buying a 3d printer and designing a model of the bent elbow and arms of a fighter? We could design and simulate a fighter arms doing a sleeper hold, because I swear to God those guys can put anyone to sleep reliably, like every time, no matter who it is or how fat their neck is or how deep their carotids are.. We could put springs or a ratcheting system in the elbow of our design which would apply pressure and the arms could be 3d designed to be the same shape as human arms. We could even put soft silicon sleeves over the hard plastic to simulate skin and make it less uncomfortable to have hard plastic up against your neck, simulating skin.

Who knows, maybe the instructions on how to do this with a 3d printer will make it in to the PPH...

Yeah, it happens all the time when I come here

Good luck in getting that N. Wish I could go with you, even just follow behind you from a distance like some weird stalker type. But alas, I just became disabled and am in a wheelchair so I'd be be able to follow you one block until we hit a curb and I'd be stuck.

SN is great if you're not living in a state that recently scheduled it. Meaning it would be a felony to source it. And I don't particularly like the idea of going to jail in a wheelchair. Although it would solve my problem of not having any money, and not being able to earn an income and support myself and put a roof over my head. This may just be what I need! Then I can CTB by having someone shank me to death with a piece of a chain linked fence.

I'm actually getting real excited about my idea of 3d printing a model of the arms of a human fighter doing a chokehold with a torsion spring in the elbow. I think it could actually work. Fighter put people to sleep all the time. There's gotta be something to it.

I actually think the 3d printed arms could work with a torsion spring in the elbow. Seriously, think about it. It could work. Those guys can put anyone to sleep all the time.

The hardest part would be modeling the arms. But you could do it with some digital calipers to measure the thickness and shape of the arms. I bet that information is already buried out there on the web if you look hard enough.

I'm seriously considering pursuing this. What else do I have to do? I'm newly crippled and I hate watching TV.

At least this might give me a little hope, so don't rain on my parade son. Just kidding, I'm just messing with you. But I am going to seriously look in to this. Those fighters do it with ease. It should be able to be replicated.

If you live in the US, then why not just get a gun instead? It seems a lot easier than to 3D print something.

Good luck in getting that N. Wish I could go with you, even just follow behind you from a distance like some weird stalker type. But alas, I just became disabled and am in a wheelchair so I'd be be able to follow you one block until we hit a curb and I'd be stuck.

SN is great if you're not living in a state that recently scheduled it. Meaning it would be a felony to source it. And I don't particularly like the idea of going to jail in a wheelchair. Although it would solve my problem of not having any money, and not being able to earn an income and support myself and put a roof over my head. This may just be what I need! Then I can CTB by having someone shank me to death with a piece of a chain linked fence.

I'm actually getting real excited about my idea of 3d printing a model of the arms of a human fighter doing a chokehold with a torsion spring in the elbow. I think it could actually work. Fighter put people to sleep all the time. There's gotta be something to it.

I actually think the 3d printed arms could work with a torsion spring in the elbow. Seriously, think about it. It could work. Those guys can put anyone to sleep all the time.

The hardest part would be modeling the arms. But you could do it with some digital calipers to measure the thickness and shape of the arms. I bet that information is already buried out there on the web if you look hard enough.

I'm seriously considering pursuing this. What else do I have to do? I'm newly crippled and I hate watching TV.

At least this might give me a little hope, so don't rain on my parade son. Just kidding, I'm just messing with you. But I am going to seriously look in to this. Those fighters do it with ease. It should be able to be replicated.

If you live in the US, then why not just get a gun instead? It seems a lot easier than to 3D print something.

 

[avaug]

I certainly feel more trapped after discovering this site. If it was easy, I would have caught that bus a few years ago.

 

[Worndown]

Yeah, it happens all the time when I come here

If you live in the US, then why not just get a gun instead? It seems a lot easier than to 3D print something.

If you live in the US, then why not just get a gun instead? It seems a lot easier than to 3D print something.

You feel more trapped or you now appreciate how difficult it really is?

 

[zengiraffe]

I didn't read the full thread so excuse me if someone has mentioned this already, but it's literally called survivorship bias. The people who fail continue posting on this forum, the people who succeed don't.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I didn't read the full thread so excuse me if someone has mentioned this already, but it's literally called survivorship bias. The people who fail continue posting on this forum, the people who succeed don't.

I'm in the yet to attempt category - can we squeeze in a third category (YTA?? )

You feel more trapped or you now appreciate how difficult it really is?

I was interested in that word choice as well….
Joining this site was definitely a really big reality check for me, I definitely thought this would be easy & I was wrong & I now appreciate how difficult it can be. But I'm choosing to focus on everything I can learn here to help me succeed, as I believe that's a big part of why this site exists. It may be futile asking a bunch of random strangers on a bloody suicide forum on the damn internet to be positive, so I won't . (But otherwise I would).

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I never had any optimism in the first place. I know that humans are cruel and heavily regulate death so I expected that to be the same even after I joined SS and it's unfortunately true

 

[finallydone]

before finding SS, my CTB method was "drop hanging", which according to my internet research guaranteed an instant and painless death, so i bought a rope and prepared my attempt as soon as i got my hands on it, however when the time came i was unsure if it's thickness is enough to support my body weight considering the fall was 5m or 16.4ft, so i went back to researching the "optimal" thickness for "drop hanging", luckily i stumbled upon Evelyn Lane's guide for hanging where i learned that "drop hanging" doesn't actually work, so i opted out for "full suspension hanging" instead which seems pretty reliable in the case no body finds you in the first 30mins
So i would say if anything SS actually helped gain back my optimism about my capability of taking my own life

 

[noname37]

Yeah. I'm not too concerned about pain at this point, as long as it's not too excruciating. Just want a guaranteed way to go.

 

[Davey40210]

I love this website. It's the only place where you can talk about your thoughts without a risk of being imprisoned. And it has a lot of like minded people. And it prevents a lot of unnecessary suffering due to misinformation.

The people that run this site must be constantly at risk of pro lifers getting to them, and in my book they are heroes.