For example, standing and looking over a tall bridge knowing you could jump at any second, tying nooses and hanging yourself just to feel close to death, slicing your wrists knowing that you might just hit that artery that kills you, etc. For me, I mainly feel thrilled by hanging myself. It used to scare me to death, but now I enjoy the feeling of being close to death. It gives me a nice, exuberant sense of comfort and sometimes I crave the act of hanging myself when I'm in a place that I don't have access to my ropes.
Mofreeko
Arcanist
- Apr 7, 2019
- 478
No. My suicide is just a means to an end. I'd much rather just push a button and cease to exist. There is no excitement for me at all thinking about methods. I just want to choose the least painful and most effective method I can. That's all.
That sounds like something I've said for quite some time. The big red button on the bedside table. Press it, go to sleep, and let that be the end. If it were only that easy. Even with immediate access to two reliable/somewhat peaceful methods, I cant seem to find the courage. Sometimes I wish there were two big red buttons. One as a means to an end, and one as fresh start with most of my many issue rectified. Hard for me to completely let go of hope even though that little flicker of light is barely visible.
JadedGray
Life Eternal
- Jul 24, 2018
- 991
No, but I've made attempts in the past that I knew would probably end in failure, just so I would know what to expect and for practice (as far as ingesting pills). My health is bad, so I didn't care about the risk of any damage. Anything that can possibly shorten my life is a help.
Me too! If i'm gonna ctb i want to make sure that it is gonna be succesful. For now i'm trying to stay as healthy as possible. But i'm suffering from a physical condition with no known cure... maybe that's why
are you kidding?????? thrilled????
I am sickened, in despair and in total disbelief....I don't belong here this was never supposed to happen...that I am even speaking these words or writing them is a crime against nature and life… I was perfectly healthy I had all the best years to look forward to and now this horrible injury that has left me compromised and not easily able to do anything that I love doing....
so NO the idea of it is sickening and those who think this is some sort of thrill ride or game should move on...
we need peaceful dignified and painfree methods to let those who are truly suffering go.....the ideas and laws in this country need to change this is the last frontier for society to cross....legal euthanasia.
I am sickened, in despair and in total disbelief....I don't belong here this was never supposed to happen...that I am even speaking these words or writing them is a crime against nature and life… I was perfectly healthy I had all the best years to look forward to and now this horrible injury that has left me compromised and not easily able to do anything that I love doing....
so NO the idea of it is sickening and those who think this is some sort of thrill ride or game should move on...
we need peaceful dignified and painfree methods to let those who are truly suffering go.....the ideas and laws in this country need to change this is the last frontier for society to cross....legal euthanasia.
I couldn't agree more. Im sickened by it tbh. I want an end to suffering and some control over an horrific demise. There is nothing thrilling about it.
Macc Lad
Specialist
- Jan 22, 2019
- 300
Dark Soul
Member
- Nov 4, 2018
- 27
It's like fire to me. I have had these thoughts since I was a child. To burn together with a woman. I try to fight against the thought.
Calm down everyone..I feel horrified as well when I feel forced to do it. That's why I haven't succeeded yet...believe me, I know it's terrifying. But when I'm not serious about it and I just hang myself to test it out it feels good to be close to death. That's all I meant
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,686
When I was actively suicidal, I do crave taking my shotgun and just pointing in my mouth (without a round in the chamber as I don't want to accidentally die when I'm not truly ready, but just to feel like I'm dying -- so that when the real time comes, it'll be seamless and as natural as possible.). Now when I'm only passively suicidal, I often fantasize about CTB'ing and just imaging myself painting the area with my brain and bio matter, generally making a big mess.
Please_stop
Member
- Apr 8, 2019
- 45
I wouldn't say it "thrills me", but doing test runs with hanging or thinking about my rope when I feel really awful has a positive effect on me.
Knowing I have a way out immediately calms me: I stop crying and I go on with my day. Sometimes it actually makes me smile
Knowing I have a way out immediately calms me: I stop crying and I go on with my day. Sometimes it actually makes me smile
Dark soul do you mean you want to burn to death. That's going to hurt like hell
what
Does this mean it doesn't hurt you when you have tried it?. At the point of being close to death??
CoolGuy9
Mage
- Mar 5, 2019
- 524
The idea that I will do it one day kind of excites me in a way that is beyond just stopping the pain, but every time I have tried to kill myself, I just feel horrible and I don't want to do it.
I wish we could all make it look like an accident or natural death as suicidal peeps seem to me to be seen as freaks of nature. The aftermath as well leaves people so uneasy. If i saw myself with a noose round my neck i would be disgusted and horrified.
I am f**** furious there's no quick easy way tbh. I really was naive to it before i came on here.
I am f**** furious there's no quick easy way tbh. I really was naive to it before i came on here.
