is not killing themselves far earlier? constantly
Yea, I could have spared myself so many dicks, yes I mean sex. I could have ended the suffering before aging set in and had more dignity before leaving.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Maravillosa
Господи помилуй — мир в Україні!
- Sep 7, 2018
- 689
Occasionally I wish I had ctb when I was 19 years old. However, this wish is far from a constant one: it usually comes up when I fear that I may never become a successful published novelist.
Hell yes.
I bought the bull and now paying the price. Roped in so many others now. I'd have never known them. They'd have never had to deal with the hell of knowing me. I've done work I guess, but hell they didn't even want it done really.
Everyone would have been better off if I did it when I first thought about it.
I bought the bull and now paying the price. Roped in so many others now. I'd have never known them. They'd have never had to deal with the hell of knowing me. I've done work I guess, but hell they didn't even want it done really.
Everyone would have been better off if I did it when I first thought about it.
Retched
I see the chaos in your eyes.
- Oct 8, 2018
- 837
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Retched
I see the chaos in your eyes.
- Oct 8, 2018
- 837
BlackDragonof1989
Mage
- Jul 12, 2018
- 526
Sometimes, yes. Life seems harder the more crap builds up, most of it's existential and interpersonal crap for me, some economic too.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
Yep. Should have done it 8 years ago. Would have saved me some pain and my parents a lot of money.
AceOfSpadesCTB
Member
- Oct 9, 2018
- 34
Yes. If I'd done it earlier, fewer people would have known me to be hurt by my actions.
Dead Meat
DOOMED
- Oct 10, 2018
- 18,395
Jakethepug
I came here to chew bubble gum and catch the bus.
- Oct 22, 2018
- 11
I hope there is an afterlife, at least for you. I hope even if oblivion is our fate, that you'll wake up 1,000,000 years into the future just to learn how greatly people were affected by your novels. Best of luck!
Made4TV
A hopeless hope junkie
- Sep 17, 2018
- 574
If only I'd known reliable methods at 11. That's the first time I was suicidal and the abuse only got worse from there.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Paulsmith
Student
- Aug 8, 2018
- 188
Wished I followed through my plan and jumped with my suicide partner instead of trying to figure life out somewhere and possibly losing it after only just a few weeks
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Paulsmith
Student
- Aug 8, 2018
- 188
Made4TV
A hopeless hope junkie
- Sep 17, 2018
- 574
Nothing really. I was being raised practically in a cult with not much outside influence so I had very limited knowledge. I broke a bottle and cut my wrists with a shard (not that deep) and waited to die. I didn't know anything then. Didn't know why the blood kept clotting. Didn't know why it was taking so long . Finally I went home and concocted a story of a spill on my bike and hurriedly put bandaids on before anyone could see .
Quite honestly, I should have hanged myself with my umbilical cord in my mother's womb.
Sayo
Not 2B
- Aug 22, 2018
- 520
Yes. I reached the peak of my life some time ago, and watching my mental, social, and physical health decline has been brutal. I've failed myself for no real gain in pleasure, and I've made others sad, both inadvertently by failing in my relationships and inevitably as I will die anyway despite their best efforts. At least I could have spared my partner.
There are many things I regret, but my main regret is not simply ending things on a less terrible note, before I went through even more traumatic experiences and everybody else I knew was affected in some way by it. I disagree with those on here who say we are all overthinking it - many of us have failed because we didn't think about it, and merely gotten ourselves committed or even ignored -, but I am definitely someone who did.
It's been said that it takes courage to live past your best years. I don't know if courage is the right word, but I agree with the sentiment.
There are many things I regret, but my main regret is not simply ending things on a less terrible note, before I went through even more traumatic experiences and everybody else I knew was affected in some way by it. I disagree with those on here who say we are all overthinking it - many of us have failed because we didn't think about it, and merely gotten ourselves committed or even ignored -, but I am definitely someone who did.
It's been said that it takes courage to live past your best years. I don't know if courage is the right word, but I agree with the sentiment.
Not ending it years ago is and will be my only regret i don't care about anything else. Just dissapointed with myself that i'm still here and suffering when i could have stopped this shit years ago. I need to just do it as hard as it is.
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
No it's what I did to make myself want to in the first place
OnlyMercy
No More
- Oct 23, 2018
- 190
I don't really regret not ending my life earlier. The circumstances which made my life unbearable only occurred over the last few years and I've tried my best to cope to no avail.
Hindsight is always 20/20 and one could not have known just how devastatingly bad life would get.
If anything, my intention to leave this world is affirmed by the medical community's inability to adequately address my various health problems.
Hindsight is always 20/20 and one could not have known just how devastatingly bad life would get.
If anything, my intention to leave this world is affirmed by the medical community's inability to adequately address my various health problems.
It's not my biggest regret but it is a regret I have.
I should have done it fucking 10 years ago.
Would have prevented so much shit from me.
I should have done it fucking 10 years ago.
Would have prevented so much shit from me.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,813
Same here, I can really relate to what you just said about life. I think I've reached my peak around 8-9 years ago, then things went downhill since then and never was as great as then. My social life has been shit (Thanks to Aspergers - no friends, no one really to hang out with, and even a relationship with another person is like fucking winning the lottery), my mental health has been going down since the last 4-6 years (Anxiety, depression, and other shit), and of course, now as a poor post-grad student, I am currently a NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training). Of course, others may see that things "could" get better for me, have a future for me, but shit runs deep for me too. Things may look promising on the outside, but there are lots of inner turmoil too; which includes but isn't limited to failed prospects, failed dreams and goals, and also socio-economic issues and societal issues that bother me as well (It's fucking 2018 and the US still doesn't have right to die laws, voluntary euthanasia on a national/federal level, the states that do (CA, CO, OR, WA, VT, MT (court-ruling, de facto), and soon HI (effective January 1, 2019)), only allow it for terminally ill patients with less than 6 months to live. Depressing shit like this along with other social issues like homelessness, poverty, injustices, and shit, I just fucking want out of this planet. Finally, not doing too well financially so I might as well use the last bit of money to enjoy myself before I finally ctb.
I feel this way quite often.
project77
Member
- Sep 22, 2018
- 20
Absolutely, like I already wrote in another thread. I knew when the time was right. But I was and am too weak to do it for the moment.
Hopefully It will change or Ill find another solution. Most of the days Im disappointed by myself I didnt do it when there was a good moment.
Hopefully It will change or Ill find another solution. Most of the days Im disappointed by myself I didnt do it when there was a good moment.
