anyone else feel like a piece of shit cause everything is boring to you?

[Tonic_Secrecy]

I've been through a lot of things that contributed to me thinking life isn't worth living. But as I am now, I don't even care about those things anymore—they just don't matter to me. Everything feels so boring.

Working your average 9-to-5, playing video games, watching shows—even having a girlfriend, which used to be the best solution to dealing with my problems in the past—it all just seems boring. I feel like a piece of shit because of it.

My girlfriend likes to just sit on a call and vibe on FaceTime, but all the time, I'm just thinking, I can't wait until I can go to sleep. I just want to be able to walk around. I feel bad because she's so sweet, and I don't deserve her—especially if I can't appreciate her as much as I should.

She can always make me smile, but on the inside, I'm always wondering when it'll be over. Even with her, I pray for death and actively seek it out.

Am I a piece of shit?

 

[soonnotkoei]

I've been through a lot of things that contributed to me thinking life isn't worth living. But as I am now, I don't even care about those things anymore—they just don't matter to me. Everything feels so boring.

Working your average 9-to-5, playing video games, watching shows—even having a girlfriend, which used to be the best solution to dealing with my problems in the past—it all just seems boring. I feel like a piece of shit because of it.

My girlfriend likes to just sit on a call and vibe on FaceTime, but all the time, I'm just thinking, I can't wait until I can go to sleep. I just want to be able to walk around. I feel bad because she's so sweet, and I don't deserve her—especially if I can't appreciate her as much as I should.

She can always make me smile, but on the inside, I'm always wondering when it'll be over. Even with her, I pray for death and actively seek it out.

Am I a piece of shit?

no. you are not

reading the description of your situation is exactly what being depressed as fuck feels like. zero interest in anything. it is horrible, ive been through it myself. at that point your mind has all the time 24/7 to think about dying. literally the one thing that will be on your mind. constantly tired. its an extremely dark fucking place.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

'I don't feel like a piece of shit', but I do feel exhausted. I don't hate anyone but the world and just in general, I feel terrible that I am to blame for being lazy when I don't want to be alive anymore and it's just quite odd to me that people are very hurtful about it, too, that my favorite things lacks joy to me, especially as I did everything, and realistically, wouldn't want to be alive in this world. It's too dystopian and too vile for me to even consider if Iw as given enough chances to change my mind. I would just feel odd about the choice, realistically speaking because it took way too much on my hands to leave it alone that this world treats itself as the most borings thing in its existence alone.

 

[rllysuper]

I don't think you're a bad person for not being able to control how you feel. Finding everything boring is just what depression and SI does to you. Even if you don't enjoy being with you're girlfriend as much as you used to, it doesn't mean you're a piece of shit because it's not personal.

Being in a relationship won't cure depression.

You can't expect your girlfriend to make you feel good because what you're suffering from needs way more than just a loving girlfriend to overcome.

I'm sorry for your circumstance and I wish you luck in life

 

[Giovannino224]

You litteraly descreibed what being depressed feels like, complete apathy and anhedonia, feeling that you don't deserve your most loved ones, and more in general feeling like shit. I been through this myself and I knwo the strugle, I'm sorry to her this but I can assure you that is something completely fleeting if you want to make it.

I don't deserve her—especially

She decides if you deserve her or not, not you, and still being with her is a sign that apparentaly she thinks that you deserver her company. If you are still unsure try to face the argument with her, probably she can reassure you more than anyone can.

Stay safe

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I wished to apologize, as I only read both your title and post but forgot to respond back fully. And the answer is no you're not. As I known someone who equally delt with this with their girlfriend, andit was because he didn't expect it to always be very giddy and friendly, and with me, I recently did this with certain 'friends' which didn't understand my problems fully, but we all did have our own bag. Of course you're not, and being made to feel or believe that is unacceptable, especially as I shared... it's not easy in this dytospian world that makes you feel like this constantly... You have every right and reason to feel such things, but I would advise, you share with your girlfriend your need for space, if your not ready to let her know of your mental health, even if it may be important to her to know. You need your time, and when my ex did this, he would tell me from his point of view when he was annoyed with some things when I was struggling through his expressions ands h=vibes, and it may be scary, but she has to equally be aware read the room, or else she lacks respect and courtesy for your well being, and plus, people will believe that is okay to do to you, and I'm so sorry you feel that way. You aren't a piece of shit. But again, I forgot tot read your response well. ADHD brain

 

[divinemistress36]

You arent a piece of shit. Depression makes everything boring. Everything people enjoy doing I mostly find boring. I look at peoples obsession with sports, social media, materalistic things ect as pointless . Besides animals theres nothing that interests me about this world

 

[crocune]

Dude this is fixable get some anti depressants

 

[Tonic_Secrecy]

Dude this is fixable get some anti depressants

already have them I've shuffled through a lot but they never really help in the end

 

[divinemistress36]

Dude this is fixable get some anti depressants

They dont work for everyone

 

[Hollowman]

Dude this is fixable

Dude this is fixable get some anti depressants

And possibly getting PSSD when coming off of them like I did.

 

[crocune]

And possibly getting PSSD when coming off of them like I did.

Or it fixes your brain chemistry . Dude anything is better than ctb. Try going to a doctor first

 

[Hollowman]

Or it fixes your brain chemistry . Dude anything is better than ctb. Try going to a doctor first

I've been to six of them and have been on over two dozen meds, I tried. It got me nowhere dude.

 

[crocune]

I've been to six of them and have been on over two dozen meds, I tried. It got me nowhere dude.

Yes but u r not op. Lots of people get better after medication, my mom included. So it might have not worked for u but op should at least try

 

[Bruce]

@Tonic_Secrecy Right, as everyone says, you are suffering from depression. But why!? What has caused this? I have reasons for which I am depressed, what are yours? Do you know?

Being in a relationship won't cure depression.

Actually it did for me! She became my world and everything else was just background noise. : )

But that time has passed, I was thrown on the street like a stray dog and now I live under a dark cloud. : (

Besides animals theres nothing that interests me about this world

I think having even one thing that you love can keep one afloat. And you have a very good thing there! But it depends on the other things that drag you down as well. : /

Dude this is fixable get some anti depressants

Dude this is not! Taking drugs can be really bad for you. I heard some pretty horrific stories here on SaSu about this.

 

[Tonic_Secrecy]

@Tonic_Secrecy Right, as everyone says, you are suffering from depression. But why!? What has caused this? I have reasons for which I am depressed, what are yours? Do you know?


Actually it did for me! She became my world and everything else was just background noise. : )

But that time has passed, I was thrown on the street like a stray dog and now I live under a dark cloud. : (


I think having even one thing that you love can keep one afloat. And you have a very good thing there! But it depends on the other things that drag you down as well. : /


Dude this is not! Taking drugs can be really bad for you. I heard some pretty horrific stories here on SaSu about this.

there are quite a few reasons most of which I don't really want to talk about as it brings up bad memories that I'd really rather forget and due to those situations I just hate life in general or am just bored with everything and everyone even tho I really don't want to be I don't hate anyone I just hate the fact that I have to exist existence is such a boring and painful thing to me which is why I just want to end it.

 

[Bruce]

there are quite a few reasons most of which I don't really want to talk about as it brings up bad memories that I'd really rather forget and due to those situations I just hate life in general or am just bored with everything and everyone even tho I really don't want to be I don't hate anyone I just hate the fact that I have to exist existence is such a boring and painful thing to me which is why I just want to end it.

Hmm .. You might not want to talk about those reasons, and I'm not asking you to! But if you want to heal I think you will have to open up those bottles and deal with what's inside. "Face your fears, let them pass over and through you, and when they will be gone only you will remain." I think this is the only way forward.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

i wish someone that cared about me like ur gf...I feel boredom at everything im stuck at the loop.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

to me all the things listed are meaningless . the things in this thread , elsewhere on this site, or that people irl think are so important fun meaningful , all are imo meaningless . some mentioned on this thread sports, social media ,romantic relationships to me don't matter.

nothing matters. what will matter in 130 years? in 10,000 years? in a trillion years? nothing . life is meaningless torture

the only things that matter to me are me avoiding extreme pain and extreme suffering and my suicide asap.

 

[identity0]

to me all the things listed are meaningless . the things in this thread , elsewhere on this site, or that people irl think are so important fun meaningful , all are imo meaningless . some mentioned on this thread sports, social media ,romantic relationships to me don't matter.

nothing matters. what will matter in 130 years? in 10,000 years? in a trillion years? nothing . life is meaningless torture

the only things that matter to me are me avoiding extreme pain and extreme suffering and my suicide asap.

I think it is true that there is no meaning, but we dont need meaning if we can just find a way to enjoy life. If...

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I think it is true that there is no meaning, but we dont need meaning if we can just find a way to enjoy life. If...

Why do I have to want to enjoy life?

I want to hate life in part because of the unbearable pain it can trap anyone with.

What meaningless enjoyable garbage is worth an hour of the worst pain? Nothing is

i'm not going to "enjoy" this evil imposition, torture, slavery prison where i have to work all day a job chores just to get old and exist under threat of extreme torture: i'm not ever going to buy that there is some meaningless fleeting enjoyable addictions that are even worth 1/1000 of that nor just of the worst unending constant unbearable pain

I hate life and nothing will change my mind

 

[Bruce]

I think it is true that there is no meaning, but we dont need meaning if we can just find a way to enjoy life. If...

You might be on to something here.. Identity Null.

Why do I have to want to enjoy life?

I want to hate life in part because of the unbearable pain it can trap anyone with.

What meaningless enjoyable garbage is worth an hour of the worst pain? Nothing is

I hate life an nothing will change my mind

You don't have to anything. You can hate it but.. what would be the purpose in that?

I'm sorry about your pain though.