Anyone else feel a sense of adventure about CTBing?

[tary]

I thought today about how people will react to me dying. That got me thinking that especially the parents of those who ran away to sea, or to join the Foreign Legion etc. must have felt something similar when their child left home to go on a dangerous adventure, especially before modern ways of communication.

And that made me think that suicide isn't actually much different from other ways to leave your whole previous life behind and go on an adventure. Of course it's an adventure nobody will return from, and one that everyone will go on eventually, but still. Nobody knows the ultimate nature of reality and what awaits us after we cross the line. We might even meet our loved ones again there, some day.

I feel like I'm just as much tired and bored of this life as I am in any emotional pain. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what happens after death. Of course there are pessimistic horror stories about it, just like there were sea monsters in old maps where nobody had sailed before. But I'm going to take the chance and see for myself what's beneath the veil, and be optimistic about it. Who knows how exciting or fun afterlife could be?

 

[HerculePoirot]

I guess I misunderstand: are you saying you are going to kill yourself out of curiosity, just to see what's behind after your death? (assuming it's more than nothingness, which I personally doubt)

 

[tary]

I guess I misunderstand: are you saying you are going to kill yourself out of curiosity, just to see what's behind after your death? (assuming it's more than nothingness, which I personally doubt)

That's not the only reason, like I said, but yes, it's one of them.
And I see as much reason to think there's something after death as that there isn't.
It's a matter of perspective, I guess.
Like I said, I'm optimistic about it.

 

[Himalayan]

I do feel that way too

 

[Blahhh]

Yes, same here. I sometimes get these weird thoughts about death not being just nothingness.
I am optimistic as well :)

 

[Forever Sleep]

Just the thought of not waking up is pretty exciting to be honest...

Think it was Peter Pan who said: "To die will be an awfully big adventure."

Who knows? Kind of more keen on the idea of there being nothing now to be honest but I hope you get your wish. It would be wonderful if we all got what we hoped for.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I just despise existing so much so of course I really look forward to being dead. It's all that I've ever really wished for and the thought of being permanently gone from this world is such a wonderful thing to me, I also see existing as being incredibly tiring and tedious and being in this world is something which is completely undesirable in every single way. I do believe that we simply cease to exist though, once we are gone and that thought comforts me.

 

[Wait-Bus]

Curious enough - there is a side of me that just wants to know what it's like to die. But I guess there would not be any memory of it, once I am dead.

 

[Unending]

There is definitely a part of me that feels this way. Unlike living life, I actually feel grateful for death considering the logical conclusion I've come to concerning what it entails.

 

[jessisme]

No to me it is more of a serious undertaking full of chance and risk. It's a difficult problem to be solved and it's important to approach it with precision, exhausting every angle because only 15% of suicide attempts result in death and I want to be successful: I don't want to fail. I don't feel a sense of adventure, just seriousness and urgency. It's a lot.

In my case, I just despise existing so much so of course I really look forward to being dead. It's all that I've ever really wished for and the thought of being permanently gone from this world is such a wonderful thing to me, I also see existing as being incredibly tiring and tedious and being in this world is something which is completely undesirable in every single way. I do believe that we simply cease to exist though, once we are gone and that thought comforts me.

What holds you back?

 

[neoyokio]

I thought today about how people will react to me dying. That got me thinking that especially the parents of those who ran away to sea, or to join the Foreign Legion etc. must have felt something similar when their child left home to go on a dangerous adventure, especially before modern ways of communication.

And that made me think that suicide isn't actually much different from other ways to leave your whole previous life behind and go on an adventure. Of course it's an adventure nobody will return from, and one that everyone will go on eventually, but still. Nobody knows the ultimate nature of reality and what awaits us after we cross the line. We might even meet our loved ones again there, some day.

I feel like I'm just as much tired and bored of this life as I am in any emotional pain. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what happens after death. Of course there are pessimistic horror stories about it, just like there were sea monsters in old maps where nobody had sailed before. But I'm going to take the chance and see for myself what's beneath the veil, and be optimistic about it. Who knows how exciting or fun afterlife could be?

yeah I do think about it that way sometimes. I've had a lot of ketamine treatments for depression, during which I felt like I experienced things I think might be in the post-human form being, for lack of a better descriptor. I sort of doubt any places our minds take us will be what it actually is, but it did give me that sense of "adventure" you're talking about. there's a quote in the show The White Lotus where the clueless rich lady says "death is the only immersive expericence I haven't had yet" lol

 

[wantittoendsoon]

I thought today about how people will react to me dying. That got me thinking that especially the parents of those who ran away to sea, or to join the Foreign Legion etc. must have felt something similar when their child left home to go on a dangerous adventure, especially before modern ways of communication.

And that made me think that suicide isn't actually much different from other ways to leave your whole previous life behind and go on an adventure. Of course it's an adventure nobody will return from, and one that everyone will go on eventually, but still. Nobody knows the ultimate nature of reality and what awaits us after we cross the line. We might even meet our loved ones again there, some day.

I feel like I'm just as much tired and bored of this life as I am in any emotional pain. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what happens after death. Of course there are pessimistic horror stories about it, just like there were sea monsters in old maps where nobody had sailed before. But I'm going to take the chance and see for myself what's beneath the veil, and be optimistic about it. Who knows how exciting or fun afterlife could be?

That is a great way to look at things, I personally think it will just be nothingness or just the absence of thought....whatever that means. but if it turns out to be a euphoric experience I will certainly regret not going sooner.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Adventure? No, not really. Really just sad that there is no other option. At least no good option.

 

[Hurt]

Nope. It's not an adventure for me.

 

[miserabledaze]

I thought today about how people will react to me dying. That got me thinking that especially the parents of those who ran away to sea, or to join the Foreign Legion etc. must have felt something similar when their child left home to go on a dangerous adventure, especially before modern ways of communication.

And that made me think that suicide isn't actually much different from other ways to leave your whole previous life behind and go on an adventure. Of course it's an adventure nobody will return from, and one that everyone will go on eventually, but still. Nobody knows the ultimate nature of reality and what awaits us after we cross the line. We might even meet our loved ones again there, some day.

I feel like I'm just as much tired and bored of this life as I am in any emotional pain. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what happens after death. Of course there are pessimistic horror stories about it, just like there were sea monsters in old maps where nobody had sailed before. But I'm going to take the chance and see for myself what's beneath the veil, and be optimistic about it. Who knows how exciting or fun afterlife could be?

I think about these things a lot. There's a part of me that definitely feels that adventure. Who knows exactly what I'm in for after I ctb but it can't be any worse than what I've lived through here.

 

[DarkFriend.]

I do wonder what's out there . . . beyond the horizon.

I think I may find out soon.

 

[tary]

No to me it is more of a serious undertaking full of chance and risk. It's a difficult problem to be solved and it's important to approach it with precision, exhausting every angle because only 15% of suicide attempts result in death and I want to be successful: I don't want to fail. I don't feel a sense of adventure, just seriousness and urgency. It's a lot.


What holds you back?

I didn't mean being careless about how you do it. I have carefully planned what I'm going to do myself.
I just meant the mindset I have concerning the whole thing. I feel like it'll be easier to avoid SI now that I'm looking forward to dying.

 

[swanlife]

Somehow yes. This morning i closed my eyes and imagined how i'm slowly dying. It was peaceful and i was looking forward to what is coming next after life

 

[gottablast888]

I believe the soul chooses where to go after this life. Maybe another 3D world, or cruising the universe and all dimensions . I believe u can even ctb the soul. Thats what Nirvana means to me. Planning and attempting ctb out of 3D is not some "adventure" i look forward to. I would prefer to have an accident, be murdered out of nowhere or die in my sleep over dying of planned ctb.. after this life i would chose to cruise the universe so ya ill be adventuring if its possible

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Death is a journey, not a destination.

To give a clear answer, yes.

 

[zeenatax]

Sometimes I think that way too but then the possibility of failure creeps in and the terror sets in. It's a cycle. Adventure >Failure >Terror

 

[FuneralCry]

What holds you back?

Actually going through with suicide plans involves such difficulty and complications for me personally, there are the factors of limited access to suicide methods and of course there is the fear of failure for me. If I had a method like N, I would be long gone, but sadly an ideal, peaceful suicide isn't the reality, at least in my case.

 

[Wannagonow]

No I don't think of it as an adventure. To me it's a more serious thing. I've been struggling with mental illness and failed attempts for so long I just want out. I've given up waiting until I resolve in my head if I'll go to heaven, hell or just nothingness. Won't know 'till I get there I guess.

 

[Prescott241]

This is going to sound bad, and I understand why it will sound bad, so I don't advise anyone to go the route I'm taking. For me, I do feel a little bit of an adventure throughout the rest of my life before I CTB, and even when I CTB, I intend to do so in a ritualistic fashion. I don't plan on doing anything too extravagant or unordinary, but I hope that when I CTB, that I will have set up my environment to contain different symbols and and spiritually significant imagery. This is still an ongoing venture for me, as I am continually seeking ways to layout the hotel room I die in. One idea currently is to recreate the monolith from the movie "2001: a space Odyssey", with a metal slab of the same proportions (1x4x9 thickness by width by height), and either painting the stainless steel slab black or leaving the color as is.

 

[eashanm]

Yeah, I get a certain adventury feel about it.