Anyone else enjoy life?

[everydayiloveyou]

I like living, I like existence and life. I don't think the world is devoid of joy or anything.

Unfortunately, I have problems that make my life very painful. But I think if I didn't have these problems, I would've never made an account here. I wouldn't have ever considered ctb in the first place of course.

I know it's not possible, but I want to experience life again after I ctb, just in a better way, without mental illness. It really sucks that it's taken my ability to enjoy life.

 

[allym101]

Honestly yeah. I don't hate life itself. I actually think life is quite beautiful. I just hate myself. I want to rid the world of me. Soul and body. I don't want to be reincarnated with this same soul.

 

[Womps]

i live in a permanent state of indifference

 

[sadworld]

I just hope I'll sleep forever. I don't want to be a part of this humanity shitshow.

 

[Giraffey]

I feel this. I like living too, I love my work, I'm passionate and I've led a fairly interesting life so far (well, I feel as though I have). You know, if I could just fix one or two of the issues that have gone badly wrong in my life then I think I could cope with the rest. The problem being that none of the issues that would actually make a difference was I to fix them are issues that can readily be fixed, even with considerable effort.

My entire recovery plan has simply revolved around learning to live in hell by burying myself in work and essentially trying to change what I want from life, knowing that I can't have it. No wonder I have so far failed. Were it practical to end my life right now, I'm ready to do so, but perhaps the necessary delay will give time for something to change. I've long given up hope, but anything is possible I guess.

 

[SmellyRat]

I just enjoy getting drunk....that's about it

 

[lost guy]

Overall, I do like living. I like being part of life. I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. I appreciate nature and all of its creatures.

Unfortunately, I have battled with anxiety and a little OCD my entire life. Those issues paired with a breakup after 11 years has sent me into severe depression. I lost our home, garden/lawn, her kid sister we took guardianship of, and I cannot even see the pets we shared. Everything that brought me joy is now gone.

I know I will never truly be happy again. It is impossible. This is why I want to die.

 

[HelloHell]

Hmm can't relate
I find no joy in life

 

[woxihuanni]

Life is very enjoyable of you have access to it. Most people don't. I mean, you cannot even put a price on how delightful it is to fuck regularly, for instance. Buying half-domesticated demon spawn would not replace it unless you will fuck your pets. In which case you should be locked up.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

Yes, I think life can be enjoyable! I really love working out and being active and healthy. I've been making lots of strength gains in the gym recently and that's been very satisfying.

If I could do my time over, I would take care of my body from an early age. Life is easier in a fit body and I feel I discovered this obvious fact too late in the game.

 

[262653]

Whether life is enjoyable depends on where you stand in life. Just like the small talk can be fun with a close friend but repulsive with strangers, or recieving flowers from a person you like might be preferable to recieving flowers from a person you dislike. I've got a taste of an enjoyable life in my formative years, so I can't imagine myself settling down with mediocrity. My family takes care of me, and I can sit on my ass all day, playing games, reading stuff, learning things or whatever, so there is no urgency to kill myself just yet.

Yes, I think life can be enjoyable! I really love working out and being active and healthy. I've been making lots of strength gains in the gym recently and that's been very satisfying.

If I could do my time over, I would take care of my body from an early age. Life is easier in a fit body and I feel I discovered this obvious fact too late in the game.

I agree. Having a fit body is so nice. I've abandoned my exercise routine because I started to feel very bad following it, but I think you game me the necessary emotional encouragement to start again.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

the concept of life is cool but physical/mental issues have ruined it for me, so i definitely cant say i enjoy it. and ngl i also am often angry at it for putting me in this situation, so i cant even enjoy it from an unbiased pov because i see the flaws/unfairness of it. i also have some issues with PEOPLE, but idk if you'd count that as "life" so i wont elab on that.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

I love aspects of life and loathe others. It's just a balance, like everything else.

 

[Grav]

Hmm can't relate
I find no joy in life

Same here. I was just talking to my wife about this the other day after seeing some commercials where they say "get the enjoyment out of life that you deserve" and such. As I thought about it the phrase seemed to me to say you should always enjoy life and that's the normal. Kind of like seeing all the travelling healthy retirees going kayaking and skydiving but then seeing people I know who in the "golden years" are breaking down physically or mentally, and I think "what world are people living in", or am I that far out of it? Almost like the expectation is that everyone will live until 90 and be fully active and engaged until then, when after 60 you should be ready to go and certainly after 70. Honestly, I have a hard time absorbing "enjoy life" as a phrase. I can understand "still living" or "continue to be" and I can understand someone enjoying something they do but to say they enjoy "just being" seems too obscure. I've had fun times but those are blips on the line, points in time. Got some counseling this week coming up so this will be a topic.

 

[woxihuanni]

Same here. I was just talking to my wife about this the other day after seeing some commercials where they say "get the enjoyment out of life that you deserve" and such. As I thought about it the phrase seemed to me to say you should always enjoy life and that's the normal. Kind of like seeing all the travelling healthy retirees going kayaking and skydiving but then seeing people I know who in the "golden years" are breaking down physically or mentally, and I think "what world are people living in", or am I that far out of it? Almost like the expectation is that everyone will live until 90 and be fully active and engaged until then, when after 60 you should be ready to go and certainly after 70. Honestly, I have a hard time absorbing "enjoy life" as a phrase. I can understand "still living" or "continue to be" and I can understand someone enjoying something they do but to say they enjoy "just being" seems too obscure. I've had fun times but those are blips on the line, points in time. Got some counseling this week coming up so this will be a topic.

I'm prety sure the elderly who enjoy life are the sane people sitting at home. If you are getting to 70 and still dragging yourself from some hysterical activity to another, you are deranged. Same for young people anyway.

 

[Isadeth]

I enjoy life but not certain aspects of life. If I could get my physical pain under control I would be so much better off. I know awful things are character building, and I seem to handle them well even though they suck... however I still enjoy life. There are just certain aspects that create my suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts.

Again, most of them are due to my chronic pain. Some are due to my experiences but I would thrive if the pain would just disappear. ♡

 

[NA90]

I can't stand life anymore! I'm so fed up! And now the way the world is it's even worse.

 

[Isadeth]

I can't stand life anymore! I'm so fed up! And now the way the world is it's even worse.

Is there a certain catalyst? I'm sorry you're fed up. I honestly can't say that I blame you. I've teetered on the edge numerous times about to end it all. ♡

 

[NA90]

Is there a certain catalyst? I'm sorry you're fed up. I honestly can't say that I blame you. I've teetered on the edge numerous times about to end it all. ♡

Same. Waking up everyday is such a disappointment. We should be able to reach a doctor and say I had enough can I leave?! The world is over populated anyway!

Same. Waking up everyday is such a disappointment. We should be able to reach a doctor and say I had enough can I leave?! The world is over populated anyway!

Like I'm too sensitive for this world. I don't belong here. Had a privileged childhood, did well in school. And now in my early 20s I'm so down all of the sudden.

 

[antigone_iris]

Like I'm too sensitive for this world. I don't belong here. Had a privileged childhood, did well in school. And now in my early 20s I'm so down all of the sudden.

I feel you I wouldn't say my childhood was privileged, but I also did well in school and behaved. If only I wasn't bullied...

 

[Isadeth]

Same. Waking up everyday is such a disappointment. We should be able to reach a doctor and say I had enough can I leave?! The world is over populated anyway!

Like I'm too sensitive for this world. I don't belong here. Had a privileged childhood, did well in school. And now in my early 20s I'm so down all of the sudden.

You're not the only one! Most that did well in school and then went into a spiral when the work didn't come easy as an adult. It so common! Especially for gifted children. You didn't specify if you were one or not, but if you ever have time to read up about how horrible gifted (or schoolwork that came easy) children/adults are doing. It's a weird phenomenon.

I'm sorry you're overwhelmed and it's hard to buckle down and learn when you never had to before. (At least if I'm reading that correctly, it's 0715 here so I might just be tired lol) ♡♡♡♡

 

[specklenought]

I relate, I think i posted something similiar a while ago asking if ppl wanted to die because they hated living or if they wanted to die bc they were in so much pain? For me its the pain. I like the life I have, I like the people in my life, I just cannot keep myself safe anymore. I am tired of trying.

 

[NA90]

You're not the only one! Most that did well in school and then went into a spiral when the work didn't come easy as an adult. It so common! Especially for gifted children. You didn't specify if you were one or not, but if you ever have time to read up about how horrible gifted (or schoolwork that came easy) children/adults are doing. It's a weird phenomenon.

I'm sorry you're overwhelmed and it's hard to buckle down and learn when you never had to before. (At least if I'm reading that correctly, it's 0715 here so I might just be tired lol) ♡♡♡♡

Awww thanks your very kind!!

I feel you I wouldn't say my childhood was privileged, but I also did well in school and behaved. If only I wasn't bullied...

I always stood up when I saw bullies bullying people. Was kicked once by a guy for getting in between what their were doing but I didn't care. Some kids are so cruel. Sorry you went through that.

 

[Metalhead]

I used to enjoy life and at one time was probably called the life & soul of the party. That's long gone now, bipolar, depression, anhedonia & anxiety have contributed a great deal to where I am now, I've given up hope of ever enjoying life again.

 

[Isadeth]

Awww thanks your very kind!!

I always stood up when I saw bullies bullying people. Was kicked once by a guy for getting in between what their were doing but I didn't care. Some kids are so cruel. Sorry you went through that.

I think it's a common trend that people on this site protect and defend people being bullied. ♡ I know I did. Ugh so many fights haha

 

[All washed up]

I used to love life.
Hiking, marathon running, watching live sport, going to the pub, enjoying work.
Now I don't really enjoy anything much, maybe if I get a job and coronavirus restrictions ever end I'll enjoy life again.
Not hopeful, though it all seems like too much effort

 

[shay23]

I like living, I like existence and life. I don't think the world is devoid of joy or anything.

Unfortunately, I have problems that make my life very painful. But I think if I didn't have these problems, I would've never made an account here. I wouldn't have ever considered ctb in the first place of course.

I know it's not possible, but I want to experience life again after I ctb, just in a better way, without mental illness. It really sucks that it's taken my ability to enjoy life.

Yes I agree, I enjoy simple and little things like eating nice food and the smell of fresh air after it has rained. The Earth is beautiful and the concept of being a human and experiencing love should be amazing, but it's so tainted. I hate the evil in the world, how I don't fit in, how I can't function. I wish I could live as I want to enjoy life but I have been cursed with trauma and mental illness. I can't enjoy anything and see the worst in everyone.