Venting Anyone else convinced living is some form of hell or eternal punishment?

[soft-flower345]

I'm not religious, but when I attempt to understand how I could live in a world where both of my parents have both individually attempted to seriously kill me because they were brainwashed into having children when they never wanted them to begin with, all the hatred I've been subjected to by the very people who were responsible for creating me, and that there are thousands of people just like me, who share in carrying the same pain and despair as me, leads me to the conclusion the only purpose for this nightmare we call living is just to suffer and hurt. Only being carried on by fleeting moments of happiness or distraction and our biologically programmed SI. It makes me sick, the way we humans treat each other makes me sick, the way I treat myself makes me sick. I wish we were kinder creatures, and I wish the world was a kinder place.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think the existence of life is just a horrific mistake, it's just an endless cycle of senseless cruelty and unnecessary suffering that sadly repeats, there's no deeper meaning or purpose behind the way that existence is, it's so tragic how there isn't just nothingness instead but it's true that this world undeniably is so hellish. No matter what existence could never be desirable, existence in itself certainly is the true problem. But I very strongly believe that once we leave this world we just cease existing which is the only relief as in the ideal state of non-existence one cannot suffer and everything is finally forgotten about.