anyone else constantly swinging between one extreme or another

[february in alaska]

It's literally making me nauseous. Like literal emotional seasickness. I feel like someone put my brain into a blender.

Completely numb, then bam, total emotional wreck. One day later and I've reached acceptance and I feel more at peace than ever before. And then I'm high as a kite. And then I'm full existential crisis. Reconsidering everything, panicking, planning my attempt. Oh, now my stupid brain has decided to start giving a shit. Nope, survival instinct has taken over. Back to being numb. And then I'm totally fine the next day. Five panic attacks in a row, followed by sleeping for twenty hours straight. Wallowing in self pity, cringing at how dramatic I'm being. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Feel like my head is exploding. And okay as I'm writing this I'm just now wondering if this could be a side effect of me dropping my antidepressants cold turkey lmao