Anyone else completely alone ? And maybe even enjoying it

[a_strange_day]

I am. It's been 2 years now. No GF, no family, no friends, nada, I got rid of everyone. I won't go into details but lets just say that I was so totally exhausted, emotionnaly drained and unable to manage a "normal" life any longer that it was the only solution for me. I'm not enjoying it but at least I can have some mental and physical relief.
I often read stories about people here and for the most part they still have someone in their life, wife/husband/parents/kids/friends/bf/gf etc...So, whether voluntary or not, are there other people here totally alone?

 

[Rachel74]

I have my partner and my family but I'm very alone and isolated where I live. I actually prefer it that way now.

 

[Intelligent_Lobster]

I thought I might have been alone, once. It was one of the scariest, psychotic feelings in the world.

My mind felt like it was breaking. I couldn't figure out what was real, and what wasn't. I've been so severely gaslit in my life, that I seek validation in my ideas, from people I trust. When there was no one, I resorted to Reddit.

Does anyone else post on different sites, to validate an idea/opinion they're not sure of?

 

[Rachel74]

I thought I might have been alone, once. It was one of the scariest, psychotic feelings in the world.

My mind felt like it was breaking. I couldn't figure out what was real, and what wasn't. I've been so severely gaslit in my life, that I seek validation in my ideas, from people I trust. When there was no one, I resorted to Reddit.

Does anyone else post on different sites, to validate an idea/opinion they're not sure of?

I used to but I just stick to SS now.

 

[Astral316]

I'm all alone barring a few people paid to assist me like a therapist, psychiatrist, nurse, etc... it's better than being surrounded by people you meet on the street but at the same time deep down I know it's not natural. The people that would make me happy probably don't exist... so I hope to join them in non-existence soon.

 

[Nem]

I'm almost completely alone, live with a friend but it's getting bad and I'm on the verge of violently killing myself. I have continuous thoughts of tying a rope around my neck and tying the other end to a tree or post and then quickly driving away
Peace/hugs

 

[Futility]

I'm not alone but I wish I was.
I'm feeling way more alone in a crowd of people than I ever did by myself.
But on my good days I keep accidentally making friends left and right, then I come home, crash and regret everything, then I repeat the cycle next time I have a good day.
I'm actually the most happy when nobody is home or in a different room at the very least, where I can just read, make art, play games and watch whatever I find on the internet.
I'm an introvert with an alphabet soup of other problems, all these extroverts grind me down to nothingness and then they get upset when I need to rest, it's not fair and I wish I had the guts to tell everyone to go away or accept my terms of only seeing each other once every month to every 6 months.
The only friend I have that I have totally accepted as a constant in my life, is my dog.

 

[Life sucks]

I'm almost alone. Better than dealing with the toxic humans

 

[a_strange_day]

I'm all alone barring a few people paid to assist me like a therapist, psychiatrist, nurse, etc... it's better than being surrounded by people you meet on the street but at the same time deep down I know it's not natural. The people that would make me happy probably don't exist... so I hope to join them in non-existence soon.

Being alone is not natural. I've tried to convince myself of this for years, and while I can understand the concept and the fact that it is important for the survival of the species I never believed that being alone is against human nature, at least not mine, especially in today's society. I think most people just can't stand being alone because they need someone around them for whatever reasons ,but for a small % being alone is a necessity. I hope you find your peace.

I'm not alone but I wish I was.
I'm feeling way more alone in a crowd of people than I ever did by myself.
I'm actually the most happy when nobody is home or in a different room at the very least, where I can just read, make art, play games and watch whatever I find on the internet.

I used to be like that. I could bury myself in books for days without even thinking about the external world. Watch movies, play games, live in my head.
The crowd on the other hand...I understand the meaning but I definitely don't feel alone in a crowd, I just want to get out of here as soon as possible :)

 

[Disintegration]

I'm alone the majority of the time. It's pretty great. I house sit for my friend while he lives with his girlfriend.

 

[Azzy69]

My Fathers side of the family have nothing to do with me, as I chose to stop seeing my Father at a young age. That includes my older brother too. We used to be so close. I still have my Mother, but I don't really get along with her. In high school, I sat alone and only spoke to one other student occasionally, but soon after we graduated she ghosted me. Apart from that, I have no friends or anything. I can easily go days without talking.

 

[Mort]

I bin on my own for the last 10 years or so no gf dont chat to my folks much and they live two streets a way LOL . my self i like being on my own i dont trust anyone to get close to me . Even my folks mind you they the worst for letting private stuff out to other people . But no pont getting into an argument with them just not worth the hassle. So thats why i am on my own dont trust anyone any more seems they quick to stab you in the back these days.

 

[Vilthuril]

I don't have friends or a romantic partner or anything like that and the isolation has gradually increased through the years. So I guess the argument "suicide is selfish since you'll hurt others you're close to" doesn't really apply so much to certain people.

Isolation can become like some inescapable vortex it feels like. And then others who could potentially form a friendship/acquaintanceship with you will recognize the fact that you're totally isolated/a loner as a sort of "red flag" and assume there must be something majorly wrong with you and keep their distance, so it's like some vicious cycle perpetuating itself, since most everyone has some kind of selfish pack mentality and is well versed in the ways of social ostracism. They'll distance themselves from "outsiders" for fear that it is somehow contagious or their association with you would reflect poorly on them.

 

[Xaphous]

11 years isolated and it's torture but stuck, never learnt how to form bonds. I can say lifelong isolation to be fair.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I've been in isolation for 14 years due to complex regional pain syndrome which is the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. I hate it because I like to be around people. It's not normal to be isolated. It's very depressing. I live with someone thank God. Because I can't physically take care of myself. And my grandfather comes over every day but other than that all I see are doctors who I'd like to wrap my hands around their necks. I enjoy the company and conversation of other people.

 

[Heart of Ice]

I've been living in a shared flat but we both have our own rooms that can be locked. I feel a disconnect between the outside world and my room. The outside feels like noise to me. I'm strangely very happy.

 

[mpnf]

I only have my mom and a male friend that I can trust to mostly for "everything" but I don't feel him as a friend even though he is, and the same goes with my mother I love her my way and I think that when she passes away, I will feel somehow destroyed but I've always had hard moments with friends and everybody cause I didn't fit into their beauty social standards and always felt marginal and alone in my own country. I'm mixed and I'm not a beauty, have a lot of weird circumstances in my life and never felt integrated. I live in Spain and was born here and it sucked growing up in the canary islands but right now I am in Madrid and it's different but the same after all. I always feel like people don't care about my thoughts or anything that happens to me . And that got me to a point after experiencing for almost 3 years non stop depersonalization and derealization being homebound for it, where I realized people is not important to me cause I'm not nott them . So I can proudly say I feel happy being alone . What scares me the most is my financial situation that it could improve a lot , but otherwise I don't know I'm a mess and I feel like an alien . I don't think I belong to this world anymore and recently I turned 26 , but due to my circumstances I cant enjoy my youth as I would love to and that mixed with past experiences and a lot of s*** going on , I just cant handle life anymore and with that I tend to isolate my self not socializing at all cause I think it's just pure acting toward others.
So I like being alone cause I think a lot of people drain my emotional energy and I don't believe in them at all.

Sorry if you didn't understand much of what I wrote but my English is very basic and there's a lot in my life that could not be resumed in a few lines.
Thanks if you read it all and I hope you feel better or that you find the best way to exit our unbearable existences soon.

Regards, Maria.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

It's either being completely alone and depressed or being surrounded by people and feeling terribly anxious while putting on a facade of pretending to be "normal." Hmm, I think I would prefer the former.

 

[a_strange_day]

I don't have friends or a romantic partner or anything like that and the isolation has gradually increased through the years. So I guess the argument "suicide is selfish since you'll hurt others you're close to" doesn't really apply so much to certain people.

Same here, at least when I'm dead nobody will miss me and it's better like that.

I've been in isolation for 14 years due to complex regional pain syndrome which is the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. I hate it because I like to be around people. It's not normal to be isolated. It's very depressing.

It must be horrible when it's not your choice and you are just thrown into loneliness. I wish you peace.

I've been living in a shared flat but we both have our own rooms that can be locked. I feel a disconnect between the outside world and my room. The outside feels like noise to me. I'm strangely very happy.

It reminds me of a time when I was living right in the center of a big city, and I'm not a fan of city life. But it didn't really bother me because most of the time I would stay locked up in my soundproof apartment, only going out early in the morning or late at night, it was like the outside world didn't exist.

I just cant handle life anymore and with that I tend to isolate my self not socializing at all cause I think it's just pure acting toward others.
So I like being alone cause I think a lot of people drain my emotional energy and I don't believe in them at all.

I can totaly relate to that. Thanks. I hope you can find some peace.

It's either being completely alone and depressed or being surrounded by people and feeling terribly anxious while putting on a facade of pretending to be "normal." Hmm, I think I would prefer the former.

I would too.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I'm alone aswell. I have no friends, partner, no one. I'm living with my family but I really don't want to be here with them either. There are times where I feel serene with no one in my life but there have been times where I need someone. I feel alone even when I'm in a crowd full of people. I don't want to be around a crowd of people, I fucking hate it. I just want to get out of there immediately. I don't trust anyone anymore, all everyone ever did was lie to me, manipulate me, criticise and belittle me, hurt me, use me or leave me. The list is endless and I'm so tired. The sadness and loneliness follows me everywhere I go. I feel crazy. I really just want to die, I'll be alone forever...

 

[Sweet emotion]

Same here, at least when I'm dead nobody will miss me and it's better like that.



It must be horrible when it's not your choice and you are just thrown into loneliness. I wish you peace.



It reminds me of a time when I was living right in the center of a big city, and I'm not a fan of city life. But it didn't really bother me because most of the time I would stay locked up in my soundproof apartment, only going out early in the morning or late at night, it was like the outside world didn't exist.



I can totaly relate to that. Thanks. I hope you can find some peace.



I would too.

Hi there. Yes it is awful when you have no choice but to be in isolation so your physical pain doesn't worsen. I love being around people so much. I had a wonderful life before this and I just pray for the courage to end this miserable one I'm existing in soon.

 

[burnedCookie]

I am totally alone. Except for my head shrink and my GP but I think that doesn't count. It's not really hard for me to be alone, I've been alone most of my life. I had still a job not long ago but it was just a job and people were just colleagues. Beside work I didn't have any social life and it has been like that my whole life
I had a GF for a few years, and it worked very well because we were equally fucked, me with Major depression-Anxiety and her Bipolar. We had a good life for five years before things finally ended. So now I am totally alone, ready and I hope it will be soon my turn to find peace.

 

[listen before i go]

I wish I was alone, so that no-one would care if I ctb.

 

[Final Escape]

Yes, I'm a loner but I literally can't stand being isolated too long. I'm too needy for connection to be able to manage without a few friends or people around at least sometimes. I would be the person who goes insane in solitary confinement because I can't handle it. Being without enough connection makes me feel vulnerable because I have nobody to go to if I need help.