Just one small pill would've saved me from existing and having to experience so much pain and suffering,
My mother actually got pregnant again not long after she had me, but decided to have an abortion ASAP on account of not wanting to pile on a third child to an already dismal situation. Needless to say, but god do I just
REALLY wish she had come to that epiphany a little sooner and had instead chosen to stop at my older brother instead of dragging me into this miserable fucking existence. It shows that she was more than capable of making that decision, but she just came to the conclusion too late to make a difference for me. It's pretty frustrating, I gotta say. The first time she told me this I couldn't help, but reel from my staggering lack of good fortune. That unborn third child has no idea how lucky it was and all the bullshit it was spared. No such luck for me, though. God damn it.
I felt so angry about how I was treated as a kid that I didn't think I would do better.
My mother was treated badly when she was growing up by her parents, but wanted kids of her own to show that she could "do things better". It was a very misguided notion of hers that I wish she could've been able to rise above somehow. Sadly, that never happened and so here I am. Before either I or my brother was born, she once worked in nuclear medicine and had a promising career as a medical technician, but gave it up so she could be an unemployed stay at home mom and live out her little fantasy at creating the perfect home life for her kids, only to fail horribly in the attempt. It's good however that you recognize the sorts of things that she didn't and I urge you to remain of that stance. I know that I'd make a horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible father and I'd rather castrate myself with a rusty knife than ever have kids.
I don't think this life was meant to be enjoyed or to be so called happy, how can it be when there is always risk of suffering, how can one deny it, only thought brainwashing and delusions
Yes, agreed. Reminds me of a great quote from Schopenhauer that sums this up perfectly.
"There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy... So long as we persist in this inborn error... the world seems to us full of contradictions. For at every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence... hence the countenances of almost all elderly persons wear the expression of what is called disappointment."
Arthur Schopenhauer
I don't think my parents should have had kids at all. They were in a very toxic relationship, and they weren't in a good position to raise a family.
Mine too. They were in no position
AT ALL to have kids and start a family, but they just went ahead and did it anyway entirely on auto pilot. My father hated my mother and, unbeknownst to us until relatively recently, screwed around on her constantly with other women. They had an awful and loveless marriage and never even slept in the same bed. Not only that, but living on only my father's income, money was always very tight and the house we lived in was barely enough to accommodate even two people, let alone 2 adults, 2 kids, and 2 cats. He was also physically abusive and would sometimes strike me and my brother across the head as punishment when we were kids. When I was older there were two occasions where I literally needed to toss his ass to the ground to prevent him from attacking my mother.
My mother and father should never have been together in the first place and with the birth of me and my brother, they essentially became permanently chained to one another. My entire memory of this family is stained with unhappiness, abuse, disappointment and constant turmoil. Damn them for being so unconscious and misguidedly arrogant to have sleepwalked their way into something so staggeringly awful and crippling.
I wish my parents had been aborted.
Yep, that would've been great too. My entire family line should've been aborted, frankly. Heck, the same goes for the whole god damned human race. My parents aren't horrible people (well my father kind of was, honestly), but they were supremely fucked up and should never have been allowed the ability to have kids. My father, for one, always deeply regretted the ball and chain that came with family life and deeply resented being a father/husband as an impingement on his freedom. Maybe he should've thought of that before he fucked my mother and started all this garbage to begin with, damn asshole.
My brother turned out okay. I wish they'd just waited another month and created somebody else instead of this.
My brother also turned out fine. More than fine, actually. Guy's a real overachiever in many different ways. Honestly, if they'd just stopped at him life would've been a million times better for everybody. Especially for me since I never would've even needed to be here at all, which would be fucking priceless beyond measure. I disagree with you that they should've waited so someone else could've been born. Fuck that. They ought to have kept it in their pants instead of condemning a new person to the horrors of life like they did me. But, you know, I'm damn unlucky. Out of tens of millions of other sperm cells it just had to be me that connected with that rotten egg that led to my formation. It god damn figures. It really does.
Definitely wish I had been aborted. My mother is a sorry piece of shit. One time I asked her why she had children. She just stared at me a bit and finally said "That is just what women do".
My dad's a sorry piece of shit who was just looking for someone to screw, while my mother was simply arrogantly delusional in her quest to prove herself as a better parent than her own lousy ones were. A bad combination either way. If my mother had only come to her senses sooner, but alas. By the time that happened it was already too late and a lifetime of suffering was already locked in for yours truly.
My brother is of this mindset though that one is just supposed to "have children". For him, it's simply part of his eventual to-do list. It's fucked up beyond belief and I honestly have no idea how to talk any sense into him. He's one of those people where the more you tell him not to do something, the more committed he is to doing it. To be honest, I weep for his future child/children. I can't believe he intends to start the entire fucking carnival of suffering all over again. Damn maniac.
I feel you on a really deep level here, my mom told me she was going to abort me and ever since then I genuinely wish she did
I've told my mother on a couple occasions that I sincerely wish she'd have aborted me and, although she understands where I'm coming from, she still claims that she couldn't get by if I weren't here. To be honest, it upsets me more when she says that even if she could go back in time she'd still decide to have me for her own sake, if for nothing else. I mean, I gotta say, that's just really fucked up. Knowing what she knows now, I have no idea how she can say that. As far as she's concerned, she wouldn't be able to survive the loneliness if I weren't here. She fails to see though that if I had never been, the situation would've been entirely different and she probably would be in a much better position in life than where she's at now. I've told her this as well, but she throws out the reverse conclusion that things could've been worse too. It's impossible to reason with her when it comes to this and, besides, I guess what's done is done.
The world would be a better place without me.
Indeed. The world would be better off without me taking up space and consuming resources simply for the sake of mere survival and maintaining my miserably empty existence. On the flipside, I would've been a lot better off without ever being exposed to this fundamentally shitty and rotten little ball of dirt we call a planet.
