I've been doing this a lot and I have guilt over it. I block people when I feel like can't keep up or when I'm feeling inner conflict about meeting up. I push away so many people regularly who might be cool people but often through text there is miscommunication because u can't respond quick enuf or maybe u are lethargic that day and not really wanting to respond. Eventually after texting for awhile I end up blocking when they put the pressure on to meet and im still wishy washy. Anyway I have decided to not allow this anymore. Where u meet people through the internet and it starts off by text and things get awkward for some reason and finally you just decide for unconscious reasons that u have to stop and block the communication and end up never meeting in real life. I almost think texting ruins relationships in a way. Because it's not the same as face to face. Or stops something genuine from even getting off the ground. Anybody else notice this? Or have similar problems?
Johnnythefox
Que sera sera
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3,129
I think it's wise to follow your instinct, I wouldn't feel guilty about blocking people.
People can be anything they want to be online, and I think that's been demonstrated many times.
People can be anything they want to be online, and I think that's been demonstrated many times.
I never have this problem because no one wants to ever meet me.
Johnnythefox
Que sera sera
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3,129
What's address, phone number, email and bank details?
Right, it's probably anxiety on my part because I'm aware that I have porous boundaries, and I struggle to assert myself or communicate effectively. So probably because i no longer view new relationships as positive but a source of failures. The prospect of potentially getting hurt, disappointed even though I know the red flags now. Allowing myself to emotionally attach to the wrong people. The guilt comes from that I think it's rude as fuck but I feel relief when I block. Oh good I don't have to worry about that person anymore lol! It's messed up.
Last edited:
Johnnythefox
Que sera sera
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3,129
I don't actively seek a relationship anymore, I came to the realisation that I'm not very good at them. Which is an understatement!
Right, same here. To be honest I don't think I'm capable of love. I mean I was capable of infatuation and bonding through sex but I mean really loving someone. I don't think I'am able. Sure with intense therapy work with an excellent therapist but that's out of reach, so I've accepted that no matter who I meet. They can be the most gorgeous, amazing person and I could not truly love them. I would sabotage the relationship one way or another because of my pathology. I think now I try to avoid potentially hurting people too by not allowing anything to progress too much. Spare them from even wasting time lol!
azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
Man, you are articulate Final Escape! I have like the exact OPPOSITE situation as you (i.e., I'm usually the one over-texting and being blocked). Of course, I don't think it is wrong of you to block people. But, I have a suggestion, if you wanted to find some middle ground. You could text the other person that you're really looking forward to meeting, but unfortunately you're super busy and don't have the opportunity to keep up long text "conversations." I don't know if that would work. I wish people were blowing up MY phone.
At this point only reincarnation might get me a relationship. LOL
Johnnythefox
Que sera sera
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3,129
Yeh if I become a ghost I just might be in with a chance.
The only reason people blow up my phone is because of being a sex worker. So it's not like this is normal for the average person. When I post an ad guys blow u up texting. I had this guy who was trying to connect and was interested in my service. Well it was an unlikely connection and next thing I knew we were having normal conversation and I suddenly stopped seeing him as a client and felt attracted lol! He was nice looking. So I wasn't anticipating that. This is a pitfall with this type of work, I have to make a conscious effort to make sure I'm not too attracted to the people I see because I don't want to get excited over someone and then be distracted by that. I recognize that I can't start a relationship with anybody who saw me under this type of circumstance. You really can't start a relationship based on sex, because u skip through all the necessary stages of relationship formation. It's unlikely to work out, very rarely that can happen but it's not common. I've heard of maybe one girl who married some rich client and it's happily ever after.
Last edited:
azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
That is an interesting predicament, Final Escape. Maybe I am minimizing your situation, but I STILL think it's cool that you can post a picture of yourself, and make people come running. Customers or not. But, yes, I see that that would be difficult about being attracted to potential clients. Have you ever told a client that you couldn't keep seeing him because you really liked him? I mean, that you were really attracted to him?
Yes, I have, but it's definitely to protect myself from that intense infatuation that can happen with certain people. You don't always see it coming either. I'm way more aware of this as I gained experience though.
Last edited:
azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
Wow! You are a font of wisdom! I would think the guys would be so flattered. But, I see what you're saying about the relationship starting out on unequal footing. Final Escape, there is a really awesome writer I'd like to recommend to you. I don't think she has written a book, but she writes online and in magazines. Her name is Melissa Petro, and she was fired from her teaching job because of her former sex work. She is young...maybe 30? She's an awesome writer...doesn't hold anything back. Really smart like you. I will send you some links later. I've reached out to her on FB about my experiences, and she was very kind and frank.
Johnnythefox
Que sera sera
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3,129
I made a connection with a sex worker in Edinburgh about fourteen years ago, she worked in a sauna and I would go regularly.
I told her I was going abroad, and the last time I seen her we didn't have sex, although I still had to pay.
We just talked and smoked for the hour, I think she was upset when I was leaving.
I've still got the photo of me and her in the pub, I often wonder what became of her.
I told her I was going abroad, and the last time I seen her we didn't have sex, although I still had to pay.
We just talked and smoked for the hour, I think she was upset when I was leaving.
I've still got the photo of me and her in the pub, I often wonder what became of her.
Some ladies make it out, but I often wonder what percentage end up being able to quit and change to a different life altogether. I don't guess that most women make it out who get into this and are in it for a long time. I wonder how many of us end up ctb. I'm guessing it's a high percentage.
Empty Smile
The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
- Jul 13, 2018
- 1,785
I won't necessarily block them, unless it comes to the point of them constantly harassing me. Most times I'll just ignore them by not answering on a topic or a message they send me.
azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
Empty Smile, I can't resist sending you a couple of messages that this guy sent to ME. Because of his past attempts to block me, I purchased this app called Incognito SpoofCalls that let me contact him from fake numbers.
Here is some context. We slept together a few times as a friends-with-benefits arrangement. In my heart of hearts, I probably would've LIKED more, but I took what I could get. Anyway, I was disappointed that he didn't even wanna be my friend after 3 rolls in the hay, so to speak. And, he was rude, and told me not to text him anymore, and I was really confused.
BUT, I learned he had a girlfriend. So, that explained the rudeness, but I couldn't resist telling him how mad I was that he had done that. I felt like he took advantage of the fact I'm new in the area and have no friends (so therefore wouldn't know about his gf...I live on a small island, btw). And, as you can see, I made the BRILLIANT choice of confiding in him about my psych issues.
Anyway, I don't know if this gives you any perspective into the "mind" of the blocked people...I'm not sending you this because I think you should change your behavior. I just think it's funny that we're in the same chat: someone who blocks, and someone who GETS blocked. :) :) Anyway, sorry if this is more than you bargained for on a Saturday night.
Well people can be pretty toxic. Especially when it comes to online stuff. I used to give the benefit of the doubt, but that is not a good idea to go by when you're on the internet. I don't feel bad about blocking people or kicking certain people out of my life. There is no reason to have toxic people in your life. It really does not help at all especially when you have mental illness and depression. Right click, block, anyone that is toxic. The less toxicity around you, the better you will feel. At least that's what I think.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
Some people are too sensitive or immature though. They will stop talking to you over trivial shit or shit that they started.
Ah yes, that is also true. Some people can be very immature. However they are not worth your time if they are immature. Immaturity can also be a a form of toxicity.
