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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
This is the second time today. It hits me more how terrible I've been living and the past is so overwhelming. It's literally been a train wreck ever since I can remember but adderall only made it worse. I hope this is just temporary. I don't remember bursting out into crying spells and being so weighed down by emotions. It's almost like everything I've been suppressing for years is exploding out. It's disturbing. I should be going to NA meetings but I have not started yet.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
Just got one. Shall I post every time I do?
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Just got one. Shall I post every time I do?
Lol! No, how often do u get them? I guess they scare me. I never had this problem till I quit the speed.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
Lol! No, how often do u get them? I guess they scare me. I never had this problem till I quit the speed.
We could conduct a study starting now. But you said no to posts, so I'll keep the crying spells to myself then :) Do you just want an average per day? I don't know if that'll go up or down
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
We could conduct a study starting now. But you said no to posts, so I'll keep the crying spells to myself then :) Do you just want an average per day? I don't know if that'll go up or down
Lol! Yea I guess we could keep a record of how many times and when but that might be kinda lame. I was reading up on it and I guess it's common in withdrawal after longterm use. I'm like whew! It seemed so intense and debilitating that I freaked out wondering if it's caused by being clinically depressed or something. I just panicked thinking it won't stop. I find crying in public humiliating.
 
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M

Marawa

HereButNot
Dec 30, 2018
249
Lately i've had horribly uncontrollable ones even in public. it goes along with my panic attacks. which is new
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Lately i've had horribly uncontrollable ones even in public. it goes along with my panic attacks. which is new
It makes me feel so vulnerable and defeated, exhausted.
 
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Terminally drunk

Terminally drunk

Student
Aug 29, 2018
133
It makes me feel so vulnerable and defeated, exhausted.
In the past things like that had triggers even the most lowkey things. Drugs will elevate emotions but ur the one the does it. I ended up liking it in same way I liked happiness it was weird just the emotions of it all. I'm so emotionally damaged now I think about it.
 
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Tragoedia Vitae

Tragoedia Vitae

Experienced
Oct 14, 2018
230
Yes, I do get a crying spell every now and then. Usually from cumulative sadness. It's an awful feeling—it doesn't matter how many blankets I pile on top of myself, or how deeply I bury my head into my pillows, because I'm still very much in this world and trapped in this existence. If only I could get out of myself and my body somehow, detach myself from it all....
 
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Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
I always want to shout, scream!!
I want to die so much, but today and in all the nights it's always a fuck silence, alone in the dark, in a mental suicide, in a catatonic state. Sad;-;
 
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GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
Years ago when I first lost my health I went through a phase when I was crying a lot. It really has to do with chemical reactions happening if there is no significant situational cause. You should get it under control with some medications.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
Years ago when I first lost my health I went through a phase when I was crying a lot. It really has to do with chemical reactions happening if there is no significant situational cause. You should get it under control with some medications.
Fucking troll
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
I don't remember bursting out into crying spells and being so weighed down by emotions.
^^^ This. I've been trying to type a reply but I think I'm just typing the wrong thing. So I just want to say that I completely sympathise.
 
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AhG

AhG

La vie est tout sauf un rêve
Jan 24, 2019
313
Well, I get these because I start thinking about my wife, and all the stupid shit I did to end us. Like today, I cried twice. I know I'll cry some more later tonight, but that's when I go to sleep.
Fun times. :ahhha:
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I always want to shout, scream!!
I want to die so much, but today and in all the nights it's always a fuck silence, alone in the dark, in a mental suicide, in a catatonic state. Sad;-;
That sounds serious :( I've been here before too. For some reason I slipped into deep despair around age 20 and after that I would have bouts of this. I know it was due to the problems I was dealing with that weren't being resolved.
Well, I get these because I start thinking about my wife, and all the stupid shit I did to end us. Like today, I cried twice. I know I'll cry some more later tonight, but that's when I go to sleep.
Fun times. :ahhha:
Yea I destroyed some relationships too especially after getting prescribed psych meds.
 
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Jenna

Jenna

Experienced
Nov 21, 2018
234
I cry uncontrollably all the time. I was harmed by medications. I didn't know you could cry so hard and so much and not be able to control it.
 
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AhG

AhG

La vie est tout sauf un rêve
Jan 24, 2019
313
Yea I destroyed some relationships too especially after getting prescribed psych meds.
There is a lot more to the story then me ruining it. But it is my fault and I will admit that. She had every right to leave me, but I did it to just protect her...
 
FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,783
This is the second time today. It hits me more how terrible I've been living and the past is so overwhelming. It's literally been a train wreck ever since I can remember but adderall only made it worse. I hope this is just temporary. I don't remember bursting out into crying spells and being so weighed down by emotions. It's almost like everything I've been suppressing for years is exploding out. It's disturbing. I should be going to NA meetings but I have not started yet.


Yeah, like if I'm watching a movie and see people who're good friends, or family safe in each other's company. Wait, I'm not supposed to admit I get crying spells...
 
W

Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
Yes, I spent most of yesterday afternoon crying. I was extremely exhausted afterwards and still feel drained.
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
I'm sorry to hear your life is so miserable.

No I don't get them. I'm too numb to feel much of anything these days. I think being able to cry would be healing somehow. I know this'll sound stupid but what I want most of all is to be able to cry in the arms of someone I love and who loves me. Of course that's not going to happen.
 
P

Psilo

Arcanist
Dec 29, 2018
482
It...it's the garlics I swear ;-;
 
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W

Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
@Jean Améry Why can't that happen?

@Psilo Isn't it onions???
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
@Jean Améry Why can't that happen?

@Psilo Isn't it onions???

Because I can't very well talk to my family about this, even if I did crying is not acceptable and my mother would have a nervous breakdown. Because I can't really talk to my friends about this and crying in front of them would be completely not done (we're all male) and humiliating. Because I don't have any female friends, somehow I do think I wouldn't mind in that case. Because I can't cry as I'm not able to really experience grief and sorrow anymore, it's like my ability to feel is shut off.

I don't know whether this is a natural reaction going on in my brain and mind or a persistent after-effect from stupid, useless, harmful antidepressants I've taken in the past.
 
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Eily

Eily

tired
Dec 4, 2018
21
This is the second time today. It hits me more how terrible I've been living and the past is so overwhelming. It's literally been a train wreck ever since I can remember but adderall only made it worse. I hope this is just temporary. I don't remember bursting out into crying spells and being so weighed down by emotions. It's almost like everything I've been suppressing for years is exploding out. It's disturbing. I should be going to NA meetings but I have not started yet.

I find it relieving to cry. It may feel weird if you're not used to crying constantly all of a sudden. I used to cry a lot randomly throughout the day. Now I'm finding it difficult to cry even if I'm really upset. It actually bothers me that I find it hard to cry because I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
There's only so much the mind can hold.
 
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