F
Final Escape
I’ve been here too long
- Jul 8, 2018
- 4,348
This is how I view my coming suicide. I've lived long enough and because I couldn't plan for old age well suicide is my retirement plan.
Yea I guess that's how I see it. I'm retiring prematurely from life.I would have another 4+ decades before I could retire, but it is like a retirement from life.
Do you think you will go right away, or just something to have on hand?The toggles and elastic came in mail now just waiting on the micropore tape. With each arrival I get more of a sinking feeling lol! Because the doom gets closer haha! I'm trying to make light of the sad situation.
I want to go pretty soon. As soon as I make the exit bag and kind of wrap up some stuff. Don't want to leave a mess. I already don't have much stuff for this reason. So there's less work for anybody to do once I'm gone.Do you think you will go right away, or just something to have on hand?
Exactly lol! I don't want to be a wage slave again but that's what I'm looking at being 41 with no real job skills and selling my vag for a livingI see it as skipping the 40 years of being a wageslave and another 10-20 of being an old, crippled half-cadaver.
I truly, sincerely hope I don't live that long. The mere thought that I might makes me feel quite unpleasant, to put it extremely lightly. I'm a hermit free from the grueling drudgery of wage slavery, so at least I've got that going for me, I guess. Escape plan would be a better way to describe it in my case.
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Yes, this is absolutely my plan.
A series of various personal disasters and limited choice meant that I wasn't even remotely financially stable until recently, far too late to begin saving. Most of my income has gone to others. In any case, on the off chance that I would make it until retirement age (which I am sure will rise from sixty-five), exactly what good am I to anyone at that point? I'm hardly worth it as it stands now. The idea of puttering around, alone, watching my pennies so I can afford dented cans of cat food, is not a future in which I would invest.
I know other people have a future with a spouse and children, plans for trips, or a desire to write a memoir, but I do not have any of these things.
The bit in Blade Runner, in which Deckard "retires" the replicants, that is my idea: I get retired. I'll just have to do it myself.
Yeah, agree with you.
There is this beautiful quote by my favourite philosopher, Emil Cioran:
"You know, I've written very little, I never assumed it as a profession. I'm not a writer. I write these little books, that's nothing at all, it's not an oeuvre. I haven't done anything in my life. I only practiced a trade for a year, I was a high-school teacher in Romania. But since, I've never practiced a trade. I lived just like that, like a sort of student and such. And that, I consider the greatest success of my life. My life hasn't been a failure because I succeeded in doing nothing."
He also wrote a lot about suicide.