Help Any way to say goodbye to friends without alarming them?

[TheWalrus]

Heyo, my CBT date is 2 weeks from now so I'm beginning to see friends for (hopefully) the last time in my life before I'm outta here. I also want to atleast say a last goodbye in a way that won't result in being locked up in a psych ward again. Any ideas on what I could say?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't see how you can say a permanent goodbye in a way that doesn't seem like goodbye, except when you're parting company, which would be saying "until next time." I can't tell what you're getting at. Unless I'm misreading, it seems like you're seeking something impossible.

 

[TheWalrus]

No, you're right. I suppose it is impossible.

I don't see how you can say a permanent goodbye in a way that doesn't seem like goodbye, except when you're parting company, which would be saying "until next time." I can't tell what you're getting at. Unless I'm misreading, it seems like you're seeking something impossible.

 

[Justcheckingout]

I plan on ending my last text with my only friend with ' man we've been friends for ages! thanks for sticking with me through all these years! XD' I think that sounds nice but not too final as to raise suspecion.

 

[Nature_is_God]

I suppose leaving a note when you CBT is the only way to truly say goodbye, given the circumstances.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I plan on ending my last text with my only friend with ' man we've been friends for ages! thanks for sticking with me through all these years! XD' I think that sounds nice but not too final as to raise suspecion.

Is it out of character though?

 

[TheWalrus]

I suppose leaving a note when you CBT is the only way to truly say goodbye, given the circumstances.

Yeah I will be posting a suicide note as a delayed message on every platform I have, but I feel like people around me would appreciate a final face-to-face goodbye. Maybe I'm overthinking it. They ain't gonna be happy regardless.

Is it out of character though?

In my case, yes.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

I agree with @Justcheckingout, that's perfect. Also depending on how you are, it might be discouraging in a sense, if you await their reply or want to see how they respond. It's more stress and delay, if that makes sense.

If thanking them for the friendship randomly is out of character, maybe try emphasizing that you know it's strange? Like "hey man, I know this sounds mad weird but thanks for being my friend. No need to worry, I just felt like appreciating you a lil since i know i never say that often enough." If you do it during/after a happy conversation it'll seem even more spur-of-the-moment and less sus.

Does your friend know about your suicidal ideation though? If they're familiar with it and you have a history of attempts, I'd be wary about saying anything at all, honestly. Ngl, anything you say could make your friend feel very concerned and guilty if you are known to be "at-risk." They might call the cops on you or something, especially if you send the message and ghost right after. If they receive a message, do nothing, and then find out about your fate later, the guilt they feel will be immense. That sort of thing can really mess with people for life. I mean, in the end it doesn't really matter, but it's something to consider.

 

[TheWalrus]

I agree with @Justcheckingout, that's perfect. Also depending on how you are, it might be discouraging in a sense, if you await their reply or want to see how they respond. It's more stress and delay, if that makes sense.

If thanking them for the friendship randomly is out of character, maybe try emphasizing that you know it's strange? Like "hey man, I know this sounds mad weird but thanks for being my friend. No need to worry, I just felt like appreciating you a lil since i know i never say that often enough." If you do it during/after a happy conversation it'll seem even more spur-of-the-moment and less sus.

Does your friend know about your suicidal ideation though? If they're familiar with it and you have a history of attempts, I'd be wary about saying anything at all, honestly. Ngl, anything you say could make your friend feel very concerned and guilty if you are known to be "at-risk." They might call the cops on you or something, especially if you send the message and ghost right after. If they receive a message, do nothing, and then find out about your fate later, the guilt they feel will be immense. That sort of thing can really mess with people for life. I mean, in the end it doesn't really matter, but it's something to consider.

That's a good point, yeah they do. I think just sending them a delayed message is my only option really. Thanks for your response :)

 

[Adamsnolife]

Personally in my opinion, I wouldn't say or do anything. That would be safer . But hey that's just me

 

[TheWalrus]

Personally in my opinion, I wouldn't say or do anything. That would be safer . But hey that's just me

I'm going to atleast say goodbye in some form - I feel like that's better than nothing.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

For your own safety, I would say goodbye to as few people as possible. The danger is too great that someone notices something.

But you can send everyone a delayed email in which you can write everything. Do you still have time for this?

It's been two weeks since the OP

I love your signature
"Waiting for the worms to come"

 

[bigdog]

I would say goodbye but won't say when I will do it. So he wouldn't contact my family while I am in the process

 

[TheWalrus]

I've actually addressed many of my friends in the same note, so it won't be difficult to send around. I've put alot of time into the 'note' which is more like a document and I think I'm now satisfied with just sending the 'note' and a few messages to a few extra people.

Hah thanks, the signature is a line from the Pink Floyd song 'Waiting for the Worms'

But you can send everyone a delayed email in which you can write everything. Do you still have time for this?

It's been two weeks since the OP

I love your signature
"Waiting for the worms to come"

 

[WornOutLife]

What I'd do is call them and tell them something like: "you know what? you're my goddamn friend so today we're going out and everything is on me!"
Then, I'd take this person out to wherever he/she feels like going, have lots of fun and tell them something like "well, it seems I'm really philosphical these days because as we never know when we leave this world, I think it's okay to live one day to the fullest from time to time."

In that way, at least my friends, wouldn't think that I'd be killing myself that night or in the upcoming days and when they do get the news that I CTB, their thoughts would be something like: "That's why he spent such a nice day with me. He was certainly an amazing guy. Gonna miss him so much."

Of course they'd be sad but, at the same time, kind of happy.

That's why I'd do at least.
Last but not least, I might add, I'd leave a letter for everyone and mentioned briefly that final meeting so as to make them feel as sad as possible. They don't have the fault of us killing ourselves.

 

[TheWalrus]

I would say goodbye but won't say when I will do it. So he wouldn't contact my family while I am in the process

I do still go to school, so my friends would likely let a counsellor know and that could cause some complications.
I really like that idea. Thank you very much for your response

"you know what? you're my goddamn friend so today we're going out and everything is on me!"
Then, I'd take this person out to wherever he/she feels like going, have lots of fun and tell them something like "well, it seems I'm really philosphical these days because as we never know when we leave this world, I think it's okay to live one day to the fullest from time to time."

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I've actually addressed many of my friends in the same note, so it won't be difficult to send around. I've put alot of time into the 'note' which is more like a document and I think I'm now satisfied with just sending the 'note' and a few messages to a few extra people.

Hah thanks, the signature is a line from the Pink Floyd song 'Waiting for the Worms'

If you send the message with a delay, please set the waiting time long enough if you are either disturbed or just want to wait a bit

 

[TheWalrus]

If you send the message with a delay, please set the waiting time long enough if you are either disturbed or just want to wait a bit

Yeah, I'll be sending it atleast 2 days later to be safe. Cheers.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

You didn't say how and when you wanted to do it.

But in the event that I cannot be with you, I wish you a pleasant journey. May your young soul find peace.

 

[TheWalrus]

You didn't say how and when you wanted to do it.

But in the event that I cannot be with you, I wish you a pleasant journey. May your young soul find peace.

Thank you, you probably will be still here since my CBT date is Aug 12 - just inferring from your signature. Cheers

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

Once again I am sad that someone is going in front of me that I do not want to see go

But you will have your reasons, like me.

What does your date mean for you?

 

[TheWalrus]

Once again I am sad that someone is going in front of me that I do not want to see go

What does your date mean for you?

Naw, I guess you can take comfort in my impending peace - I wish the same for you.
It was merely a set date so I wouldn't do anything impulsive and so I was sure on my decision. It's also the day a university releases its offers to students so I'm curious as to whether I made it or not. Regardless of the result though, I'm still leaving. What does your date mean to you?

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

Naw, I guess you can take comfort in my impending peace - I wish the same for you.
It was merely a set date so I wouldn't do anything impulsive and so I was sure on my decision. It's also the day a university releases its offers to students so I'm curious as to whether I made it or not. Regardless of the result though, I'm still leaving. What does your date mean to you?

It was the second time I was in a clinic because of crying psychological problems. It was planned that I would be there by mid-September. Therefore September.

And at the end of September because I am expecting a money transfer around September 26th. I will send this money to someone who can use it.

I am already at home now, but I organized everything for the end of September.

 

[Caspers]

I plan on ending my last text with my only friend with ' man we've been friends for ages! thanks for sticking with me through all these years! XD' I think that sounds nice but not too final as to raise suspecion.

If you tell them that Corona's made you realise how short life can be, and you just want to make sure all your friends know how much they mean to you, I don't think that would raise suspicion? Especially if you say someone close to you unexpectedly died due to it, I'd say that should be okay.

 

[TheWalrus]

It was the second time I was in a clinic because of crying psychological problems. It was planned that I would be there by mid-September. Therefore September.

And at the end of September because I am expecting a money transfer around September 26th. I will send this money to someone who can use it.

I am already at home now, but I organized everything for the end of September.

I see somebody else is 'waiting for the worms' as well, yeah I'm finding it hard to just last two weeks as well brother.

If you tell them that Corona's made you realise how short life can be, and you just want to make sure all your friends know how much they mean to you, I don't think that would raise suspicion?

Brilliant idea, thanks for your response!

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I see somebody else is 'waiting for the worms' as well, yeah I'm finding it hard to just last two weeks as well brother.

Hopefully the worms won't get much from me. I hope my plan works and the wolves will enjoy me

You are so incredibly right, the wait for the big moment is very difficult.