Discussion Any suicidal academic, master's or doctorate students here? Algum estudante acadêmico, metrado ou doutorado aqui?

[meioalguem]

en
I would like to know if anyone here tried to change careers before attempting suicide, but realized that they continued to have suicidal ideations. Anyone here like this?
I reflect a lot lately on whether making a career transition will be of any use.

pt

Gostaria de saber se há alguem aqui antes de tentar suicidio tentou antes mudar de carreira, mas percebeu que continua com as ideações suicidas. Alguém aqui assim?
Reflito muito ultimamente se fazer transição de carreira vai servir de algo.

 

[Spike Spiegel]

I was suicidal during some of my undergraduate and graduate studies. My suicidal urges were not rooted in the career I was working but instead, extreme anxiety followed by depression lead to those thoughts and urges. I do think my frustration with my studies was a background factor. I have a masters in criminal justice and was focused on the opioid epidemic, specifically safe injection sites. I originally wanted to go further with my degrees, get a PhD and do research for a big university. However PhD programs are very political, hard to get into, and often struggle from the replication crisis going on. My school was downsizing it's program and with the Pandemic that was going on at the time, my experience was not ideal.

During my graduate studies I got very lucky, I was offered a TA position which included teaching on my own once a week in front of a smaller section of the lecture. I found I loved teaching and it became something that really made me feel good. I ended up abandoning my aspirations of getting a PhD and doing research, despite that still being somewhat of a closest dream for me. I am now in the process of getting a secondary level teaching certificate. I still struggle with anxiety and depression due to unrelated factors, however my new career path gives me hope when I think about it. The idea of helping and working with kids does help me feel like I have more of a purpose and does make me happy.

Personally I think this was all part of my journey. Had I just gone right into teaching post highs school, I'm not sure I would have liked it or been as dedicated. The passion was not there yet. It was only after some trials and tribulations , that I could appreciate how getting Infront of a class made me feel.

 

[meioalguem]

I already have a degree and I'm thinking about another degree to change areas, but deep down I feel like I'm just postponing suicide, because in the end it's not exactly my career that brought me to this situation.

 

[uzuf86]

I'm a dual Doctorate degree holder with an exceptional academic performance record. What's the point though, I've ruined my mental health and created enough problems around me to competently warrant my ctb

 

[meioalguem]

I'm a dual Doctorate degree holder with an exceptional academic performance record. What's the point though, I've ruined my mental health and created enough problems around me to competently warrant my ctb

What types of problems?

 

[uzuf86]

Problems to my mental health to the point that I lived 7+ years of anxiety and stress, during which I wasted prime years of my life and created conflicts with family and friends that can never be repaired

 

[figurehead]

Yep, I did my PhD in Critical Theory in England and went back home (Brazil, I'm writing in English so that everyone can follow it) and had my Postdoctoral Fellowship here. I've always wanted to be an academic and I suppose I was for a while, but soon I realised that. I was fooling myself. I couldn't face the egotistical world of academia and, must confess, nothing became easy because I had a PhD, quite the contrary. I became either over-qualified or simply didn't have enough experience in the areas I should do. Oh well.