Discussion any other asexual aromantic on ss?

[Insomniac]

anyone else identify as asexual and aromatic?

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

I'm not very concerned with finding labels for myself, but one could definitely say I'm on the ace/aro-spectrum. I have certainly never been in a romantic or sexual relationship nor do I currently desire to be in one or have ever done so in the past. I guess I also do not experience sexual attraction. I have always found the "normal" way of experiencing/doing such things quite strange, let alone the way society handles the topics of sexuality and related subjects. I have and still do masturbate occasionally, though that's more like a hobby I actively decide to engage in. It's supposed to be healthy and all and it's enjoyable. But if I'm not feeling well or just forget about it I might not do it for months, and I probably wouldn't be very sad if I had to give it up completely.

There are other ace/aro people here and there have probably been quite a few threads about it by now. One that comes to mind is this one by @Meretlein where she talks about her experience with being aromantic and asexual.​

 

[Insomniac]

I have and still do masturbate occasionally, though that's more like a hobby I actively decide to engage in

yes, this.

It took me a long time to figure out I was aromantic asexual because I thought being ace/aromantic I couldn't enjoy any form if sexual pleasure. but I do enjoy maturation using a vibrator, but I'd hate having sex or doing anything sexual with another person.

I'm not very concerned with finding labels for myself,

I understand and agree. however I also think official labels can be really helpful to communicate with others. For example, if I ever want a partner, I'll need to explain him/her than I am aromatic and asexual.

I have always wanted to ask other ace/aro people if they identified as homosexual or heterosexual. It's a bit tricky question. I used to think that I was hetero but now I'm starting to question it. I'm not against the idea of having a partner and our relationship would be mostly like a deep friendship, I guess I have no reason to mind if it's with a man or a woman.

as an aro/ace person, would you mind having a partner and if no, then would you mind their gender?

 

[HappyForever?]

I'm involuntarily asexual and aromatic.

 

[Insomniac]

I'm involuntarily asexual and aromatic.

not what I meant.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I am aromantic naturally and lost my sex drive for the most part at 36

 

[Ashu]

It took me a long time to figure out I was aromantic a sexual because I thought being ace/around meant I couldn't enjoy any firm if sexual pleasure. but I do enjoy maturation using a vibrator, but I'd hate having sex or doing anything sexual with another person.

Do you fantasize while masturbating?

 

[Insomniac]

Do you fantasize while masturbating?

I do watch hentai.

 

[Ashu]

I do watch hentai.

So it's not so much that you lack sexual desire as that your desire is weaker than your aversion to physical intimacy with other people.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I am aromantic naturally and lost my sex drive for the most part at 36

That being said i think intimacy and loving sex is the most possible pleasurable event in any human being life. I done all kinds of drugs and physical and mental activities and they are very pleasurable but nothing get close enough to a good sex.

 

[Insomniac]

I done all kinds of drugs and physical and mental activities and they are very pleasurable but nothing get close enough to a good sex

are you serious??! would you say that sex is more enjoyable than, say, meth?

I've never done hard drug and I've never had sex but I find it really hard to believe. I don't think anything can compare to hard drugs

So it's not so much that you lack sexual desire as

It took me a long time to figure out I was aromantic asexual because I thought being ace/aromantic I couldn't enjoy any form if sexual pleasure. but I do enjoy maturation using a vibrator, but I'd hate having sex or doing anything sexual with another person.

you just rephrased what I said lol
but yeah you're right. that was my point, I can enjoy sexual pleasure only if no one else is involved.

 

[Snake of Eden]

are you serious??! would you say that sex is more enjoyable than, say, meth?

Oh yah sex is much greater in terms of pleasure. I have had sex on meth and it is something else entirely but i wouldnt even say meth is necessary to reach such a level of pleasure giving all the right circumstance and right partner (mutual attraction and good experience) are involved.

The most possible pleasurable feelings are experienced through a good intimate sex

Edit: that being said i think calling your lover daddy in recent years is the most disturbing gross trend. Just saying

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'm asexual but not aromantic. I envy people who are also aromantic. I've suffered a lot on the romantic part in my life. If there was a potion to have no more romantic feelings towards anyone, to never fall in love again and to never desire it I'd take it in a heartbeat.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I'm asexual but not aromantic. I envy people who are also aromantic. I've suffered a lot on the romantic part in my life. If there was a potion to have no more romantic feelings towards anyone, to never fall in love again and to never desire it I'd take it in a heartbeat.

Being aromantic i dont think it means people who cant fall in love. In my case being aromantic is like I dont feel the necessity of all the cheesy lovy dovy things like too much PDA, saying i love you 20 times a day, telling each other how great we are blah blah blah, romantic stuff basically dont appeal to me. I still fall in love and have the same needs for intimacy though. I just dont feel the need for it to become like I have to conjure up a distinct romantic personality and change just because i am with someone i love. I dont know if that makes sense

 

[Insomniac]

Oh yah sex is much greater in terms of pleasure. I have had sex on meth and it is something else entirely but i wouldnt even say meth is necessary to reach such a level of pleasure giving all the right circumstance and right partner (mutual attraction and good experience) are involved.

The most possible pleasurable feelings are experienced through a good intimate sex

what about people who had sex and say it's overrated? There are plenty of people who say that, although mostly women.

that being said i think calling your lover daddy in recent years is the most disturbing gross trend. Just saying

fr. and it's even considered acceptable. It only confirm the Electra complex.

Tbh that theory was already confirmed when couples started calling each other "baby"/"babe". It goes the show the ambiguous relationship between parents/children. Ok I'll stop here I'm about to throw up.

If there was a potion to have no more romantic feelings towards anyone, to never fall in love again and to never desire it I'd take it in a heartbeat.

To be completely honest, I did experience romantic feelings in my life that were really deep. But then it completely stopped past the age of 17. I never experienced love again. The nightmare of the pain of heartbreak really closed my heart to love for 8 years straight

and it's how I like it. I'm voluntarily anti love now.

 

[Snake of Eden]

what about people who had sex and say it's overrated? There are plenty of people who say that, although mostly women.

I think it is alot of factors that lead to it one of them is boredom too. We can still be bored of the best things in life eventually. I havent been sexually active in years so I only sparingly had partners throughout my life and that was my experience. Maybe when someone have sex all the time or have one partner for long time they get bored? I dont have the luxury to tell

 

[lostautist]

I can be both sexual and very romantic. I just haven't cared about it in a long time. It hasn't bothered me or caused me any grief or concern. It really doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with why I'm here.

So yes, I guess so. That doesn't mean I don't have thoughts or can't be tempted. Just that it doesn't occupy my thoughts.

 

[Insomniac]

That doesn't mean I don't have thoughts or can't be tempted. Just that it doesn't occupy my thoughts.

It's like that for me too. I'd rather be comfortable materialistically than emotionally fulfilled

 

[lostautist]

It's like that for me too. I'd rather be comfortable materialistically than emotionally fulfilled

Perhaps it's my autism or being a neglected only child. I don't require emotional fulfillment. I don't easily get attached either. Sometimes I would like to, but I don't.

 

[Insomniac]

Perhaps it's my autism or being a neglected only child. I don't require emotional fulfillment. I don't easily get attached either. Sometimes I would like to, but I don't.

same.

 

[lostautist]

I'm not against the idea of having a partner and our relationship would be mostly like a deep friendship, I guess I have no reason to mind if it's with a man or a woman.

Interesting... Many times I've had a nonromatic asexual 'best friend', guy or girl, and they were always more important than the sexual relationships I would be in.

 

[JinZhin]

I'm not sure as to how I should label myself, but I'm somewhere on the spectrum. I'm most likely asexual, as I never masturbated, wanted to have sex with anyone and would most likely never start questioning it if it weren't for how idea of sex and relationships widespread is.

I think I was 'in love' only once but looking back, I think it was great amount of envy and desire to become that person, which led to an obsession
Other than that, I don't see myself ever having any romantic nor sexual partners, ever.
I sometimes wish I had a friend with whom I could spend time with in more meaningful way, but that's very unlikely.

 

[HappyForever?]

not what I meant.

I mean I'm not born this way but I have to force myself to be ace&aro in order to maintain my sanity.

 

[Luchs]

I honestly wish I was. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I'm looking for the perfect relationship, a type of relationship which doesn't exist anymore, of it ever did. All I want to have is a happy wife and kids, but in my current state that is impossible. Even of I found the best perfect woman, I'm such a mess that i probably wouldn't try to start a relationship, because I'd just hurt her. I wish I didn't care about love.

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

I have to force myself to be ace&aro

That's not what these terms mean. One cannot force themselves to be aromantic or asexual. You can try to suppress your romantic and sexual desires, maybe that's what you mean. But being aro/ace means that you simply don't have these desires in the first place.