any other addicts here

[nembutal]

i started doing heroin when my ex introduced me to it, i think i realized the implications at the time and threw all of my self respect and survival instinct out the window because i was so entranced with doing something so self destructive and lethal. i did overdose once but i was revived, i wouldn't say i wish i had died then because that would mean consequences for my ex who was in the room with me at the time but i moved on from that near death experience like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

so any other addicts here? did your suicidal ideation lead to drug use?

 

[jussaloser]

not a drug addict but im a certified alcoholic just hoping my liver explodes one day lol.
i used to do codeine in highschool to keep myself calm but now its just vodka.

not happy with the life i live but its the closest to comfort.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I'm addicted to Adderall. Knowing that my dependency on it will eventually fry my brain beyond repair in the long run definitely makes me want to CTB. I do not want to live to inevitably become afflicted with the dementia that results from with perpetual use.

 

[backtoearth]

I have a weed dependency, luckily it is not something that will kill me but it has made my delusions/psychosis worse and drains the tiny bit of money I have, but it is the only thing that keeps me alive. I cannot exist sober, I fantasize heavily about certain other substances but I know if I try them once I won't stop

 

[igl00]

I like drinking and smoking weed. For now ive been trying to cut off the weed but because of that the drinking has increased. Ive never been able to cut cold turkey for both of them. I know they're both not illegal, but I still feel so much shame when I go get weed. And then ofc when I use it I see the world in a better place and I'm much happier/relaxed. Then I feel shame again. Its a cycle that doesnt stop… right now even i wanna go get some but im trying my best not to

 

[kittyswift]

yeah.. i got addicted to opioid painkillers purely just because they made me very tired and i could sleep for days at a time instead of having to deal with living. it only really became problematic for me when i ran out and had to go through withdrawal. i have had some substance abuse issues with alcohol and other drugs but nothing too bad (imo). the worst thing about it for me is not being able to forget how it made me feel- i miss it everyday

 

[nightmare_moon]

I have an addiction to a couple things. I'm not into street drugs as much as I am abusing other shit like DXM, Whippets, and DPH mostly cause they're easier for me to get my hands on. Anemia is another one for me. The dizziness and delusion I feel make me so sleepy and happy when I bleed out and I really miss that one.

 

[Soc]

I was addicted to nitrous and spending $000's on it just to escape from my reality. I never really wanted it to kill me but wanted to end my life when I was coming down and seeing how it destroyed my life and finances. I managed to get thru the cravings. Psychological cravings are not to be laughed at. They were grim as I had to piece together my life as well.
I had some time where I was abusing ketamine as well but stopped just because it sent me into psychosis and anyone was aware I was on it and again it ruined friendships etc. Didn't cost so much because I never became dependent on it.

Now I'm just living with my suffering and preparing for the end in a more sober lucid way.

 

[zombiegirl]

i'm on that good kush and alcohol

 

[Arihman]

Well, I'm an alcoholic, and while I never get drunk to the point of risking my life because of it, I do often get drunk while watching YT videos or movies, to distract myself. And in my case I want to die as soon as possible in part because I don't want to suffer the consequences of my alcohol abuse, especially for some trivial gratification that consists of nothing but satisfying needs created by life itself. Life is a completely retarded function that deserves no reverence by anyone (even IF you're happy), as it does nothing but try to solve problems it itself created, while subjecting sentient beings to the risk of torture for the sake of such a pointless addiction. Thus, it's not worth perpetuating on a general level, and it's honestly not worth continuing on an individual level, unless you can be reasonably confident that you're good enough to reduce suffering in the world.

In other words, it deserves no more consideration than a doctor who creates sicknesses for the sake of curing them, while doing the latter only in part, and creating torture victims in the process. Such a function ultimately deserves nothing but contempt for its pointlessness and stupidity, regardless of how many victims it creates compared to cured patients.