Any only children here?

[Desdemona]

Do you feel like being an only child has added to your loneliness and suicidal thoughts? I feel like people who grow up in bigger families have less social type issues and are less sensitive because they learn how to deal with other kids at an early age and more of a built in support system at home.

I feel like it's why I'm so sensitive emotionally and always felt like I came off super clingy with my friends (all of whom have siblings close to their age) holidays were always very lonely. Any celebrations actually. Friendships have always been challenging for me

I recognize that not all sibling relationships are perfect but I feel like navigating life with a sibling would have made things much less lonely

it also makes me feel so guilty if I CTB thinking about how my parents would have no one to help them in old age.

 

[Makko]

I'm an only child and it also had effects on me. When I grew up I only ever hung out with adults. I've never had a childhood where I played with other kids or whatnot, I turned "adult" on the day I could walk. Today I'm awkward around children because they're so alien to me in their thought and behavior. I've never hung out with one, and I was never one myself.

 

[A Desperate Fool]

I grew up with 3 siblings. I don't think it helped me. They are louder and more outgoing than I. It trained me to just be quiet and keep to myself because no one will be able to hear me anyway.

 

[lofticries]

I'm actually glad I don't have any siblings. I grew up in a very toxic environment. My parents were mentally abusive towards each other and often put me in the middle of their fights more times than I can count. I wouldn't want anyone else to suffer with me regardless of that whole misery loves company saying. Even if my sibling grew up to be the high achieving one chances are she'd/he'd have mental problems one way or another. You don't have a turbulent childhood like the one I had and get away completely unscathed.

Also not having one extra person(especially one in my age range) makes it easier to ctb in my plans.

 

[Phoenix]

I mayswell of been an only child. 16 year age gap. I was the unplanned mistake that turned out fucked up and mentally unwell. My sister turned out normal married kids mortgage a good job. She moved out when I was about 6. I don't remember living with her. My childhood was very lonely.

 

[floofhook]

I'm an only child with old parents. My father was very controlling when I was a kid and it further added to my social anxiety. I eventually learned to like solitude. I want to ctb because I'm depressed and don't really see how my life could improve in the future. I don't have the energy to make an effort.
I get how you feel about the guilt though. My mom has cancer and my father is handicapped. She doesn't have anyone else to take her to appointments and accompany her in the hospital so I don't think I can leave just yet.

 

[Mentalmick]

I mayswell of been an only child. 16 year age gap. I was the unplanned mistake that turned out fucked up and mentally unwell. My sister turned out normal married kids mortgage a good job. She moved out when I was about 6. I don't remember living with her. My childhood was very lonely.

Very similar for me except swap sister for brother.

 

[Capt. Mothfly]

I was an only child until the age of seven. Then I stopped being an only child and became an obstacle. When it comes to blood relation, I am technically still an only child. Growing up like that definitelly puts a lot of pressure on oneself. In my case being the family's little pet put me in the golden cage of poisonous limelight that resulted in completely losing myself and not knowing who I was anymore. I don't think that the fact of being an only child was the problem, though just a few days ago I came across a nice picture on my instagram feed, it was a quote and it said: "Heal before having children so your children don't have to heal from having you as a parent." they should teach this in schools in sex education.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i was an only child until a month before my 11 birthday. and then the abuse 'started' (long story). it didnt really make a difference to me although not having to raise a child that wasnt mine at 12 so my mother could go get stoned would have been nice.

 

[PrettyMoose]

I'm an only child. I won't be having kids and I plan on going through with suicide eventually. It's nice to know that this branch of the family tree ends with me. My family are a mix of religious wackos (Jehova's Witnesses) and ex-JWs turned alcoholics to cope with the abuse. I wouldn't want to put another being through this chaos. I used to wish for a sibling when I was a child but it was only because I was so lonely and felt so neglected. Now I'm glad that I never had a sibling. Less beings in this bullshit = less suffering to be endured.

 

[soap]

Having younger siblings has been a curse for the most part, but they're the only ones who might take care of me once my parents are gone.

Constantly running errands or driving them to places has had its toll on my mental and physical health. I wouldn't have left the house in years if it weren't to drive them around.

I love them ofc but social anxiety and declining health don't mix well with spending time with siblings, let alone being responsible for their needs.

 

[demuic]

Do you feel like being an only child has added to your loneliness and suicidal thoughts? I feel like people who grow up in bigger families have less social type issues and are less sensitive because they learn how to deal with other kids at an early age and more of a built in support system at home.

I feel like it's why I'm so sensitive emotionally and always felt like I came off super clingy with my friends (all of whom have siblings close to their age) holidays were always very lonely. Any celebrations actually. Friendships have always been challenging for me

I recognize that not all sibling relationships are perfect but I feel like navigating life with a sibling would have made things much less lonely

it also makes me feel so guilty if I CTB thinking about how my parents would have no one to help them in old age.

I have 3 siblings, social anxiety, and spend most of my time alone.

Just because you have siblings doesn't mean they're people you like or can relate to. One of them I don't speak to at all due to what a terrible and toxic person she is. I would have far less issues without her.

And even if you did get along with your siblings, being able to talk to them doesn't mean you can talk to other people your age. You also might only have a good relationship as young children and then eventually grow apart.

Having siblings also means someone is inevitably having their needs or desires ignored in favor of who the parents decide to spend their attention on for the time being.

I spent much time wishing I was an only child, so I didn't have to constantly watch my younger siblings and destroy any chances I had of being able to go out with classmates or do afterschool activities, which didn't help me to develop socially.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

 

[Desdemona]

I have 3 siblings, social anxiety, and spend most of my time alone.

Just because you have siblings doesn't mean they're people you like or can relate to. One of them I don't speak to at all due to what a terrible and toxic person she is. I would have far less issues without her.

And even if you did get along with your siblings, being able to talk to them doesn't mean you can talk to other people your age. You also might only have a good relationship as young children and then eventually grow apart.

Having siblings also means someone is inevitably having their needs or desires ignored in favor of who the parents decide to spend their attention on for the time being.

I spent much time wishing I was an only child, so I didn't have to constantly watch my younger siblings and destroy any chances I had of being able to go out with classmates or do afterschool activities, which didn't help me to develop socially.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

i guess all my friends come from nice families and everyone I know is super close with their siblings and they always say that even though there are downsides like not having privacy and things like that they are happy they grew up with siblings

 

[MaybeSoon]

Apart from having multiple 'siblings' for various families in foster care I have a blood brother, we've met a couple of times but I'd class myself as an only child. Hasn't really made a difference, only children can end up self absorbed and people with siblings can end up bullied. It doesn't really matter. Pros and cons to both. Bill Gates was an only child and it didn't stop him from becoming a billionaire so I can't blame that shit on my problems.

EDIT: Turns out after fact checking myself I was wrong. Pretty sure some billionaire was an adopted only child or I could have just imagined it lmao.

 

[Desdemona]

Apart from having multiple 'siblings' for various families in foster care I have a blood brother, we've met a couple of times but I'd class myself as an only child. Hasn't really made a difference, only children can end up self absorbed and people with siblings can end up bullied. It doesn't really matter. Pros and cons to both. Bill Gates was an only child and it didn't stop him from becoming a billionaire so I can't blame that shit on my problems.

EDIT: Turns out after fact checking myself I was wrong. Pretty sure some billionaire was an adopted only child or I could have just imagined it lmao

I'm not saying that if you're an only child you're guaranteed to be a failure in your career or are going to be miserable simply due to the fact that you're an only child. My point was that I had an incredibly lonely childhood, and always longed for a sibling for as long as I can remember. My friends who grew up in bigger families seem to be a bit more well adjusted socially, likely because they grew up with other kids around and learned how to manage relationships in a different way

 

[MaybeSoon]

I'm not saying that if you're an only child you're guaranteed to be a failure in your career or are going to be miserable simply due to the fact that you're an only child. My point was that I had an incredibly lonely childhood, and always longed for a sibling for as long as I can remember. My friends who grew up in bigger families seem to be a bit more well adjusted socially, likely because they grew up with other kids around and learned how to manage relationships in a different way

Yeah I understand that sorry mate, I just drunkenly stumbled into the thread and made my reply after reading the title, sorry. I know what you mean though but there used to be a stigma around only children not so long back that they grew up indeficient to the rest of society which was pretty damaging. I can see how people in large sibling groups will be more ready for the 'real world' but I think kids can can fill that gap with friends tbh. The real damage I think comes later when they're the only one caring for elderly parents and feel a lot more responsibility than sibling groups, although from my experience that doesn't matter and one person ends up taking that role anyway.

EDIT: Infact I've just drunkenly replied to your reply sorry instead of reading the thread haha, just read your OP and I agree 100%. I feel the same but I wouldn't blame my suicidal tendencies on it.

 

[Desdemona]

I didn't have any friends as a kid because I was the weird poor immigrant kid. I got bullied in school and would come home and be alone. It made me more sensitive and I feel like it has effected me into adult hood too where I'm reliant on friends but my friends are all reliant on their siblings for real problems. Maybe I should have worked harder to find more only child friends lol

anyways life sucks regardless and it doesn't matter now. I won't be around for much longer

 

[MaybeSoon]

I didn't have any friends as a kid because I was the weird poor immigrant kid. I got bullied in school and would come home and be alone. It made me more sensitive and I feel like it has effected me into adult hood too where I'm reliant on friends but my friends are all reliant on their siblings for real problems. Maybe I should have worked harder to find more only child friends lol

anyways life sucks regardless and it doesn't matter now. I won't be around for much longer

Well regardless of how much friends and family we have we're all very much alone anyway if you know what I mean. We only have our experience to go on and have to trust others words on stuff. I read a book call the Courage to be disliked by Ichiro Kishimi that helped me slightly with this. Basically you can't control anything or anyone but the only thing you can work on is being a friend to yourself. You can rely on me to be your friend and talking about your concerns if you want. This is a simplistic way of saying things but my DMs are open if you need to get stuff off your chest. Not to sound like a pro lifer if you've already made your decision but if it will help in anyway having someone to talk to then go ahead and I'll listen 100%.

 

[Black Sky]

I too am an only child and sometimes wonder what my life would've been like if I had a sibling. I did have a friend when I was a child who was like a sister to me, we would spend almost every day together and it was the best time of my life. Unfortunately, that did not help much later on and due to our ever increasing differences in personality, we eventually grew apart.

Sometimes I fantasize about being reborn in a life where I have a twin and we are very close for the rest of our life, just us against the world. Kinda silly.

I'm also tormented by guilt about how useless I am to my parents and grandparents. Whether alive or dead, I'm more of a burden than a help. They did not deserve this.

 

[LetMeGoPlease]

Sibling trauma is one of the reasons I wanna die so no. Sorry if this is invalidating.

 

[alittlehuman_]

My mother and my brother created an environment that excluded me. My mother was heart broken by my father when she was pregnant with me. He lite up when he laid eyes on me for the first time and twenty months later my brother was born and I was left with them. I believed that I was a piece shit for as long as I can remember. She used me to fill in the gaps of her life on the couch from where she adored my brother.

She would seduce me so to speak because I was starving for affection and validation.

I wonder how cruel she actually got. I think she may have put me in play pen just slightly out of view so that I could hear them laugh and playing.

I don't have any room for that and because of her I made sure that I asked the hard questions of the men in my life. I would never bring my baby here unless I could create a sense of adventure and security that would invite that little thing to show me who she is and what she wants and what she thinks and why she wants what she wants because I that still with me.

They used me and they through me a way. I didn't challenge it I just let them go. I wonder about my brother. I wouldn't ever want to go near him again because he has place that I put no other person in the world. I don't want to learn anything else about him ever again. And I hope that those people are not representative of other on this earth. I love so actively and I will sacrifice enthusiastically and I absolutely will lay down my life at the slightest indication of need because I paid attention. Just like a little baby in play pen watching and soaking everything up and wait for you. Life is nothing without interacting with other human beings and creatures. EVERYTHING ELSE is in support of that.

 

[Lost Magic]

Well my brother died of a tragic school bus accident when he was 7. This was about 6 years before I was born. I was in a sense the replacement child and yes I did feel lonely growing up. I wished that he would have lived, even If it meant I was never born. I just hope my late mother has reunited in some way with him again. At the very least they are both in peace and away from this cruel world.

 

[KiloCharlieBravo]

My brother ctb and since then I always just tell everyone I am an only child. I do envy people who have siblings (+ good relations with them).

I think being an "only child" has definitely contributed to my loneliness, but probably not as much to my suicidal thoughts.

 

[StarLight]

I'm an only, and when I was little I always wished I could have had a sibling close to my age so I could have someone to hang out with and have a bond with. Obviously you're definitely not guaranteed to have a good relationship with siblings though, and its probably best that my parents didn't have multiple kids tbh.

If I could have a do over and get to choose the circumstances of my life I'd selfishly choose to not have siblings. I wouldn't want to have to share my parents attention or risk having the other person be the favorite while I'm ignored or not treated as well. Right... getting off topic. I guess I'm just trying to say that there's pros and cons either way, and I really don't know if having a sibling would have made things better or worse.

 

[SparkleWater]

im an only child. not having any cousins my age didnt make it any better. they were all older than me like when i was born they were 12-16