Any mid-lifers here? Anyone trying to legally put their affairs in order? If so, are you able to find a health care proxy and power of attorney?

[timeforketogo]

I don't have a lot of close connections anymore, and am totally estranged from my small but insane family. So as I'm putting my affairs in order with my attorney, namely: will, health care proxy/advance directive, and durable power of attorney, I'm literally having trouble finding people who will fill these roles for me.

Anyone else dealing with this? Either way, any suggestions? Most attorneys won't do it because it really is best that HCP and DPOA are handled by people who know the client. But I'm feeling shit out of luck at the moment. Any ideas welcome.

Thanks very much everyone :)

 

[Deleted member 1496]

Since no one has replied yet, I'll make an attempt. For the will, could you hire a different estate attorney (to avoid conflict of interest of the attorney who is writing the will) to be the executor and name that attorney in your will? AFAIK, an executor needs to file legal paperwork after you pass, so the hired estate attorney could do that job. For the AHCD, can you fill out a detailed one (there's no official standard AHCD where I live) as much as you can to state your own wishes, cross out and initialize the lines that designate someone else as an agent, and give that (after the 2 witnesses sign) to your primary doctor? It might be better than no documentation since at least your wishes will be known to your doctor. For the DPOA, ask your current attorney what happens to those who don't have a DPOA, because with no agent, effectively, I think you have that. DPOAs end as soon as you die, so maybe that won't be an issue.

 

[Kruger]

I don't have a lot of close connections anymore, and am totally estranged from my small but insane family. So as I'm putting my affairs in order with my attorney, namely: will, health care proxy/advance directive, and durable power of attorney, I'm literally having trouble finding people who will fill these roles for me.

Anyone else dealing with this? Either way, any suggestions? Most attorneys won't do it because it really is best that HCP and DPOA are handled by people who know the client. But I'm feeling shit out of luck at the moment. Any ideas welcome.

Thanks very much everyone :)

I can relate. I'm 54 and have no kids, no partner, no friends. I have a will and a living will. Thank god after much searching, the wife of an acquaintance agreed to be the executor and the health proxy. She's extremely competent. I struggled to find witnesses to sign the bloody papers since I literally have no human contact. Eventually asked my neighbours and it wasn;t as cringy as I though - they obliged and all is now in order - except for me finding a reliable way to 100% guarantee I can leave this living hell without becoming a vegetable.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

@timeforketogo have you exhausted all the estate attorneys in your area? If not try avvo.

 

[Pho3nix]

I'm in the same situation as you and have dealt with exactly the same issue: I have a small, insanely toxic family and very few people in my life. For my Health POA I was lucky enough to have one friend who remained in my life and she agreed to be appointed. For the Financial POA side of things I appointed my slightly deranged sibling since I had no other choice. I lost everything (house, car, money, etc) when I became ill so I haven't had to make a will. I totally rely on the state now since my family abandoned me. It really sucks to have very few reliable people in one's life. Good luck.