Any borderliners?

[Jodes]

Borderline personality disorder. Talk about a bad reputation.

I'm diagnosed EUPD, which afaic is a well-meant but vain attempt to avoid the stigma. It has just one optional variation in symptoms to those of BPD needed for a diagnosis out of nearly 10. Google it and iirc you get results defining them as the same thing. Eg in the title, "EUPD (BPD)". And its reputation is terrible. Worth repeating.

It's not just severity that diagnoses don't specify. With BPD it seems like a different pallpark. I have known two people with BPD well. One a total psych bitch, the other the loveliest human being you will ever meet. I guess I'm in the middle somewhere!!

How do you feel about it? BPD or not? It's now just a terrible label imo. Or other labels?

 

[Nofaith]

I don't think it's any worse than any other label referring to a mental illness. There is a stigma behind it but that's usually from people who have some knowledge of mental illness, rather than those who don't have a clue.

What I don't like about it, is the lack of treatment available. I heard rumours of some places having a 2 year waiting list for DBT. Not every CMHT has someone available trained to do it.

I got my diagnosis and was promptly discharged from the services, with no idea of what it was or how to live with it.

 

[Jodes]

I don't think it's any worse than any other label referring to a mental illness. There is a stigma behind it but that's usually from people who have some knowledge of mental illness, rather than those who don't have a clue.

What I don't like about it, is the lack of treatment available. I heard rumours of some places having a 2 year waiting list for DBT. Not every CMHT has someone available trained to do it.

I got my diagnosis and was promptly discharged from the services, with no idea of what it was or how to live with it.

Most health professionals takes my suicidal thoughts and actions more as gestures. Which actually suits me just fine besides the insult. Good point about most people not knowing about it though.

2 years - that's the worst I've heard! Apparently the condition is very hard to treat, partly because patients refuse treatment. I bet they stamp "uncooperative" on everyone's discharge notes to get people out the door. "Just came out of surgery" wasn't acceptable, apparently

 

[okyeah]

I have suspected I have this for a long time. I fit all the symptoms and lack a sense of identity. I do a lot of black and white thinking but it feels justified because it is just conclusions I make from weighing the pros and cons of people and relationships. Either I like you or I don't, there isn't really much in between. Apparently this is a bad thing?

Even though I match these symptoms I feel like it is due to things out of my control like race and upbringing. I feel like my phenotype was not suited for my environment and has led to this "disorder". I feel like it is perfectly justified to feel and act the way I do in general and that being alone is my destiny. I do not value relationships anymore because I see that they are not worth my time or effort.

 

[Nofaith]

Apparently the condition is very hard to treat, partly because patients refuse treatment. I bet they stamp "uncooperative" on everyone's discharge notes to get people out the door. "Just came out of surgery" wasn't acceptable, apparently

That's true. I know I've been accused of being uncooperative.

In my experience with treatment for depression and such, the go to has always been CBT and medication. But it doesn't work for me. I try to tell explain that I've tried it, don't want to do it again and I'm accused of being uncooperative. Which wasn't true. I wanted help, just not CBT. Unfortunately, my CMHT is the pits and I've been stuck with them and the same people working there for 15 years.

@okyeah I used to feel a lot, how you do. In fact it was one of the reasons I isolated myself for a decade. I have softened over the last year though.

 

[Final Escape]

Borderline personality disorder. Talk about a bad reputation.

I'm diagnosed EUPD, which afaic is a well-meant but vain attempt to avoid the stigma. It has just one optional variation in symptoms to those of BPD needed for a diagnosis out of nearly 10. Google it and iirc you get results defining them as the same thing. Eg in the title, "EUPD (BPD)". And its reputation is terrible. Worth repeating.

It's not just severity that diagnoses don't specify. With BPD it seems like a different pallpark. I have known two people with BPD well. One a total psych bitch, the other the loveliest human being you will ever meet. I guess I'm in the middle somewhere!!

How do you feel about it? BPD or not? It's now just a terrible label imo. Or other labels?

I have this too, it's like having an invisible disability. Depending on how severe it is, can wreck your life.

 

[existenceissuffering]

I hate the stigma. DBT did help me, and I've learned to hide it and manage it. But I've noticed I still have symptoms. I deny suicidal thoughts to my psychiatrist (no longer see a therapist) because people would view it as a suicide gesture. Once I ctb, people can complain about it being a suicide gesture that went wrong all they want, but I won't have the capacity to care. Maybe if it was taken seriously, maybe if it wasn't so severely stigmatized, maybe if there was better treatment, I'd reconsider. But it's not. If you have it, your life will always be a struggle. And I don't think putting in the extra effort to maintain my mental health is worth the outcome.

 

[Jodes]

Either I like you or I don't, there isn't really much in between. Apparently this is a bad thing?

I literally never do that. Ever...

One a total psych bitch, the other the loveliest human being you will ever meet.

Lol!! :)
Black and white thinking does make things simpler, it just means you can go back and forth on decisions, wasting things like opportunities. (Seeing in gray you'd sstay the course more often)

 

[Jodes]

The funniest thing of all... They say no support groups exist for borderliners because they can't get along ROFL!!! Omg omg. Too much. Whatever

 

[Final Escape]

The funniest thing of all... They say no support groups exist for borderliners because they can't get along ROFL!!! Omg omg. Too much. Whatever

There really should be support groups and meetup groups for this. It's not like people with borderline personality disorder are crazy, ok some probably are lol! We just have trouble managing emotions and reactions to events. Maybe stunted in development but it's only potentially negative to get involved if u get very close to someone who has absolutely no insight or awareness about how their disorder looks to others and not being able to see your triggers and stuff. If u can communicate your areas of difficulty in relationships it can help others understand u better.

 

[Jodes]

DBT did help me, and I've learned to hide it and manage it. But I've noticed I still have symptoms.
.

It's not easy from what I hear... I'm dreading facing anything at all, and pessimistic about results but you seem clear that it helped you. I suppose there will always be that internal battle. What struggle in particular makes itnot worth it for you as you say? Hope you don't mind me asking

 

[Nerdyartist85]

I remember being diagnosed with BPD at the psych hospital. The only crazy thing about it was there was DBT available, and I was referred to the therapist who ran the program.

However she said I wasn't able to start it for another year because it had started a new round not too long ago (apparently this was a group DBT workshops).

I ended up seeking a new therapist later for other grievances I had with her and the accompanying psychiatrist I was referred to (but that's a whole other story).

It's amazing how much of a big deal BPD is to other professionals. My current psychiatrist didn't even want to put it in my records when I did my assessment with her; saying it's 'very difficult' to treat and she felt I was just depressed (never mind the disassociating, feeling of having no identity or not knowing who I am, the impulsive behaviors, the self harm, etc).

so instead I'm taking twice the number of pills I took when I was hospitalized. Joy for me...

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

is it true what they say about borderliners and relationships?

 

[existenceissuffering]

It's not easy from what I hear... I'm dreading facing anything at all, and pessimistic about results but you seem clear that it helped you. I suppose there will always be that internal battle. What struggle in particular makes itnot worth it for you as you say? Hope you don't mind me asking

The symptoms are still there, I've just learned to manage it. Examples include black and white thinking, I want everyone's approval, I definetly feel like "I hate you, don't leave me" sometimes, no identity, and more.

 

[Jodes]

is it true what they say about borderliners and relationships?

Judge for yourself! What does who say anyway?

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Judge for yourself! What does who say anyway?

i already have trouble and drama in relationship with normal people lol


but what i heard you better stay away from them - it will never work out (not my personal opinion but what i heard)

 

[Jodes]

i already have trouble and drama in relationship with normal people lol


but what i heard you better stay away from them - it will never work out (not my personal opinion but what i heard)

Works great with every borderline I've known, excluding that psycho everyone fall for once. Or twice. Or repeatedly. Or just get repeatedly hounded by the same one. It's a terrible reputation, Imo totally undeserved. Mental health issues are considered a vulnerability for a reason.

BPD is almost always a consequence of childhood trauma. If a child had an abusive parent and goes on to develop BPD, (or maybe others), they're even more likely to be attracted to the same type

 

[existenceissuffering]

i already have trouble and drama in relationship with normal people lol


but what i heard you better stay away from them - it will never work out (not my personal opinion but what i heard)

It depends on the person with BPD and how well they manage it. There are some that, for the sake of your mental health, you need to stay away from. There are others who you can have a totally normal relationship and friendship with. Then there are some in between, such as those who are others who may have some difficulties at times, but aren't toxic.

The same can be said for anyone. I've known people without personality disorders and sometimes even without mental disorders who are toxic.

 

[Jodes]

Treolar et al. (51) assessed the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral treatment and psychoanalytics in changing the attitude toward BPD with self-harm attitude (46). Both treatments showed remarkable improvements in the attitude of clinicians and medical staffs and the effect of psychonalytics was long lasting.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5543278/

So who are the crazy ones! Funny anyway. "Psychoanalytics and CBT ... showed remarkable improvements in the attitude of clinicians and medical staffs". I'm Glad someone's getting help with BPD even if it's just the staff

 

[Final Escape]

i already have trouble and drama in relationship with normal people lol


but what i heard you better stay away from them - it will never work out (not my personal opinion but what i heard)

Since many borderlines are aware of this, it's just an added reason you are likely to ctb eventually. We know that if u can't form close relationships and not be good at getting help or support, you will be in vulnerable positions that can leave u homeless and destitute.

 

[Vilthuril]

Yeah, I was diagnosed with it. I find I have the shaky/unstable sense of self that seems sort of contingent on somebody else. If I wind up abandoned by somebody I am close with, it can feel the foundation of my personality was ripped out from under me, and the result is a bit like a dissociative episode. It can be hard to not get overly attached to people and I constantly feel like they are planning to abandon me.
Also, when I am close with somebody I find I end up doing the "mirroring" thing where you unconsciously take on some of their traits or mannerisms.
And I do find myself having that black and white sort of thinking style, at least in terms of how I view individuals. They tend to be seen in my head as flawless/infallible, or conversely, some kind of monster. Oftentimes if I am presented with evidence to contrary in regards to that person it's like it will not mentally computer or just gets glossed over/rejected.

 

[Miss clefable]

I can relate :(

 

[Sanguinius]

Borderline personality disorder. Talk about a bad reputation.

I'm diagnosed EUPD, which afaic is a well-meant but vain attempt to avoid the stigma. It has just one optional variation in symptoms to those of BPD needed for a diagnosis out of nearly 10. Google it and iirc you get results defining them as the same thing. Eg in the title, "EUPD (BPD)". And its reputation is terrible. Worth repeating.

It's not just severity that diagnoses don't specify. With BPD it seems like a different pallpark. I have known two people with BPD well. One a total psych bitch, the other the loveliest human being you will ever meet. I guess I'm in the middle somewhere!!

How do you feel about it? BPD or not? It's now just a terrible label imo. Or other labels?

They think I have it, but it's not confirmed yet.
Dbt didn't work even tough I really tried...
I think Borderline isn't my main problem, but it's surely a thing.

 

[anelakapu]

 

[ParamitePie]

I'm not Borderline, but every person I've known who was suffered from childhood or adolescent trauma. I'm no psychiatrist, but I think the majority of the "negative" traits associated with the personality disorder are a direct result of coping strategies for trauma.

 

[wiIIow]

Yeah, I was diagnosed with it. I find I have the shaky/unstable sense of self that seems sort of contingent on somebody else. If I wind up abandoned by somebody I am close with, it can feel the foundation of my personality was ripped out from under me, and the result is a bit like a dissociative episode. It can be hard to not get overly attached to people and I constantly feel like they are planning to abandon me.
Also, when I am close with somebody I find I end up doing the "mirroring" thing where you unconsciously take on some of their traits or mannerisms.
And I do find myself having that black and white sort of thinking style, at least in terms of how I view individuals. They tend to be seen in my head as flawless/infallible, or conversely, some kind of monster. Oftentimes if I am presented with evidence to contrary in regards to that person it's like it will not mentally computer or just gets glossed over/rejected.

this is one of the best descriptions I've ever seen for this awful illness

it's mellowed out a bit in the past couple of years, or rather I've gotten it under control. But that "borderline brain" is still there, and I still have those thought patterns that I have to fight against every single day, and keep myself in check

 

[wiIIow]

is it true what they say about borderliners and relationships?

Like others have said, every situation is different. The illness manifests itself differently in different people.
I am in a healthy ave functional relationship, but it took me a long time to get to this point. I used to gravitate towards abuse, which would only allow my illness to flourish. At one point i was very sick and would have made a terrible partner.

I have *difficulties* sometimes, but I've communicated my issues so that they can be identified when they happen. it's mostly like, something insignificant will happen and it will make me spiral into this awful paranoia; soon I am convinced that Ive done something bad, he hates me and will leave me. Or, something small will make me feel unreasonably angry, which i wind up internalizing out of the knowledge that it's irrational.

So idk. Being cognizant of the issues and willing to communicate them really is the key