Any advice on my last few days?

[ArawenSilvenstar]

I have decided to cbt this Sunday. My SN arrived today a little bit early so I am tempted to go early but I want to cherish my last few days. I feel no anxiety about dying itself just worry about being found (I don't have much of a private space) and I feel sorrow for the pain I will leave on others.

I attend a rehab outpatient therapy and go 6 hours a day monday through friday so today was my last time seeing most of my friends I hope I have left them with happy memories. Its such a bittersweet feeling.

Im not sure what to do with my last days so any advice would be appreciated. I love movies and most music and being social. Drugs would be my first choice but I want to die without friends and family attributing this to a relapse and ive already put everyone in my life through enough with my drug addiction.

I imagine I will spend most of my time with my roommate, who I am madly in love with but she has no idea.

Also any advice on where to cbt as I share a room with someone would be a huge help. I was thinking either the garage or this large densely forested park near my house at night.

Sorry for the length

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, on my last days (like I did last year before trying to ctb) I would like to have sex with some girls, get drunk (and perhaps high) af, visit my family, pamper my dog and play a lot with him and his favourite bone and ball, finish one more time one classic videogame I love such as FFIX and maybe watch again some of my fav anime.