08nomore

08nomore

Member
Sep 24, 2018
45
Whats your main addction and they are one of the reasons you've became suicidal?

Im addicted to cocaine, definitely made my depression much worse trough the years and is the reason I wanna die so bad right now.

edit: bad english lol ... i meant addicts
 
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windingdown

windingdown

Specialist
Sep 10, 2018
367
I have an eating disorder. It's been on and off (mostly off) since I was a teen (I'm 31), but lately I've just been like, meh, I'm gonna die anyway. Oh well.

I take good care of myself apart from this.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
Alcoholic but it's not my primary reason for ctb—mainly a symptom of severe underlying mental issues which I've tried to relieve with booze—anxiety and depression. Yeah, i know, it only makes it worse but it's arsenal until I check out.
 
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Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
Heroin, alcohol(any), pills(any), psychedelics(any) if I can ever get some, weed if you count for the fact that I've smoked it for 5 years everyday without a break. There are numerous of other drugs I've tried but I wouldn't go so far to say they were an addiction as I only tried it once or twice.
 
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hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
I know this is going to sound ridiculous in comparison to y'all but I was a really bad caffeine addict-I would drink 6 cups of coffee a day and also energy drinks for about 8 years. Then I got excruciating migraines from it and stopped cold turkey-I had headaches, joint pain and extreme coffee cravings for a week. When I still smell coffee I really want it.
Caffeine is a real drug!
 
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hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
Alcoholic but it's not my primary reason for ctb—mainly a symptom of severe underlying mental issues which I've tried to relieve with booze—anxiety and depression. Yeah, i know, it only makes it worse but it's arsenal until I check out.

how much do you drink in a day
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
I know this is going to sound ridiculous in comparison to y'all but I was a really bad caffeine addict-I would drink 6 cups of coffee a day and also energy drinks for about 8 years. Then I got excruciating migraines from it and stopped cold turkey-I had headaches, joint pain and extreme coffee cravings for a week. When I still smell coffee I really want it.
Caffeine is a real drug!

My former brother in law was like you.

Funny story: his wife accidentally bought decaffinated coffee once and for a solid week he was wondering why he had severe headaches-almost went to the hospital!

Wife realized it was the coffee.
 
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hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
About two bottles of wine, more or less.

that is quite a bit-I drink 0,5 L of beer a day and then stopped because I was worried about becoming addicted
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
that is quite a bit-I drink 0,5 L of beer a day and then stopped because I was worried about becoming addicted

I'm way past the addiction stage, am in the gutter. Glad you had the sense to stop while you could.

I've seen enough to know that beating addiction is tremendously difficult, and without reasons to beat it, coupled with a strong support system, it's no surprise 1/20 deaths are due to alcohol abuse worldwide. Not to mention the other drugs, especially opioids here in the US.

As I said, however—in my case it's not even close to being the main reason for ctb.

I tried to ctb in my early twenties and rarely drank. It's just a temporary coping mechanism to alleviate anxiety and give me some short-term peaceful feelings.
 
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RacilyDank

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
321
I'm just an all round addict. Drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling. Whatever I can get my hands on to self medicate the way I feel. Doesn't work though.

Been addicted to medication, although they conveniently don't call it addictive because it's not enjoyable so it's called a 'withdrawal syndrome'!
 
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ReleaseMe

I know it's over And it never really began
May 26, 2018
120
Alcohol + weed
 
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Aesthler

Aesthler

Death is the only God who comes when you call
Sep 25, 2018
416
I'm developing a gambling addiction, It hasn't yet spiraled out of control but even today I've been holding back on the idea of going to a casino. I wouldn't say that it's the main reason I want to end it all, but it certainly doesn't help.
 
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windingdown

windingdown

Specialist
Sep 10, 2018
367
I'm way past the addiction stage, am in the gutter. Glad you had the sense to stop while you could.

I've seen enough to know that beating addiction is tremendously difficult, and without reasons to beat it, coupled with a strong support system, it's no surprise 1/20 deaths are due to alcohol abuse worldwide. Not to mention the other drugs, especially opioids here in the US.

As I said, however—in my case it's not even close to being the main reason for ctb.

I tried to ctb in my early twenties and rarely drank. It's just a temporary coping mechanism to alleviate anxiety and give me some short-term peaceful feelings.
I think you're spot on that there need to be reasons to beat it (coupled with a strong support system). I've always had reasons to resist giving into my eating disorder tendency in the past, but now I don't. When you have no reason to resist it, why would you even try?

For me it is mainly about boredom and lack of pleasure/reward in life, coupled with no incentive to resist it. Perhaps addicts of various stripes can relate to that.

I am perfectly cogent and responsible in other ways, so it's not always that 'how you do one thing is how you do everything'. Like suicide itself, you could say it's a rational choice.

Also, it's not at all my reason for ctb. But it is rather tied up with some of the same issues (profound boredom, lack of reward in life, the body degenerating over time, etc).
 
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