Venting Anxious about moving out

[Pathetic and Sad]

Will be moving out of the country for college in a week... and I still am not sure how I feel about it. The thing I fear the most is probably seeing my mom cry on my departure day, my dad... he will try to brave it out for her and me. Seeing her cry during every phone call thereafter, probably for at least a week or two... I just don't know how I will fare with that. I don't have any friends, so no one else's gonna miss me probably, but still having so many familiar things ripped out of me... and so abruptly at that... it just feels so wrong to me. My mental state is just getting worse and worse as the day approaches, stopped going to gym like a month ago, fucked up my sleep cycle, stopped cleaning my room... haven't showered since last week. At this point I'm just trying to have my head occupied with something... just having it constantly simulated with brain rot internet content so it won't have any space to think about these... things. Even this, I'm struggling to write, I write a couple words and start watching some shorts then come back to try and write some more. But in some way I'm a bit hopeful too I guess... 2024 has been my worst year yet. Failed my college entrance exam, had my first relationship... for like a month which ended on pretty bad terms, failed my driving test, and have been extremely isolated through and through. It was very embarrassing to have to look to my dad when being asked to write a friend's name and number by my consulate while filling the form for the student visa... he had to call his best friend to get their son's name and number (and I've already forgotten his name). I just hope being away from my past fuck ups will help me be better, do better maybe. I hope everything I'll be leaving will be worth it for this "new start"...

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's a big step, especially to be leaving your home country. Honestly, I was only too glad to be leaving my home environment but, I still struggled initially. The good thing though is- you'll be others who are struggling with the same thing. Plus, colleges do have some support systems if you need them. So, personally I found it a good intermediary step. I really hope it does work out, even if it's scary and upsetting to begin with. Good luck.